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Song Parodies -> "Pedophile"

Original Song Title:

"I'm On Fire"

Original Performer:

Bruce Springsteen

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

The lyrics of the original song are really creepy when I listen to them. In an attempt to illustrate and satirize that point, I've left in as many of them as possible. Please note that I do not condone, endorse or engage in the icky things people do with children.

Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone?
Your FaceBook's no child
Whoa-oh-oh pedophile

Tell me now Stacey is he good to you
Will he do to you the things I will do
(Who knows?)
I can drive you wild
Oh-oh-oh pedophile

Sometimes it's like someone posts a pic, maybe blurry and dull
Still you get me excited though you're not 13 years old

At night I wake up with the sheets soaked in sweat
And a Dateline anchor on the television set
Yes it's true
And now I'm on trial...
Oh-oh-oh pedophile
Stacey? No, not worthwhile.

copyright 2008+ Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   0
 4   2
 5   20

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
fits the creepy tone of the OS alright
Jason - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
IMHO, this is your bravest effort yet since your 'Foul Mouthed Me' parody. I appreciate your courage to write this and I feel it does fit the creepy tone of the OS rather well, and it does portray actual life. Be aware though, you may have trod on a few toes with this! (Not mine though.)
UnKnownVotrix - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
. . . Sir, careful with your desires . . . . Bernie WARD has been on house-arrest all year; he faces sentencing in August . . . for what you may ask?? just looking into his computer screen at his ~ChildQueen~
Michael Pacholek - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
And I write this from my office on Route 9, literally just up the road from Bruce's Freehold... Sometimes, it's like someone took a knife, edgy and dull and sent a five-vote parody right into my skull. At night I watch MSNBC and there's Chris Hansen on my TV. Goin' after guys vile. Whoa, whoa, whoa-oh, lots of guile.
Joel Martinez - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
LOL, now that you redirected me to the original, this would be a much more suiting theme to the song's beat. Great! trois quinze for you!
AFW - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Fine job of viewing from other's eyes.
Peregrin - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Oh yeah, Jack, you mentioned this in comments the other day didn't you? A fine job, and tenderly handled.
UnKnownVotrix - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Cowboys often say "hey, little girl." It does Not refer to size, or children . . . it's just an endearment that CowboyDave used frequently.
Red Ant - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks alvin, Jason, unknownvotrix, Mike, Joel, AFW and Peregrin.

alvin: thanks. I could have almost just replaced "I'm on fire" with "pedophile" to make the point.

Jason: Thanks man. This one took a lot less time to write than Foul Mouthed Me.

UnknownVotrix: Taken individually, terms like "little girl", "daddy", etc are innocent enough. Put together as Bruce did in this song makes for something really bizarre. Even though Bruce's video depicts obvious thoughts about an older, married woman, quite the opposite comes across in his lyrics.

Mike: Thanks for the comment in the form of parody; much appreciated!

Joel: You get today's "Bingo!" award. Thanks!

AFW: Although that wasn't intended in this parody, I have spent some time in thinking about what makes people attracted to kids tick. I'll get back to you if I ever find an answer.

Peregrin: Yes I did. Thanks, I didn't know how this would come across.
Dr Music - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Bravo bravo Red Ant! We were absolutely wrong about you. You are a god! We loved this parody so we told our friends about it and they loved it- they then told their friends about it-and they loved it. We take back what we said about are truly a comedic god sent down from the Heavens! You're like this website's version of Weird Al Yankovich! You're well on your way to being the next Rodney Dangerfield or Bill Hicks.
UnKnownVoTricks - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir L'Ant Rouge . . . I love this ~OS~ & Brucie, too. I only see guy 'on fire' for lonely lady, who lives near the railroad tracks, that ran behind the Old Pickle Factory. I still remember the sound of the slow moving train as the sun was setting . . .
McKludge - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Yes, the line "hey little girl is your daddy home" sung by a guy in his mid 30s (his age at the time) is uber-creepy. And as reprehensible as pedophilia is, I find hiring folks to pretend to be little kids on the internet to bait potential peds into meeting them and then confronting them about it on camera for a TV special (ala Dateline) to be pretty distasteful, too.

And Doc Music? You are only digging your hole deeper with your obvious sarcasm.
John Jenkins - July 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Not at all funny, but it gets the point across very well.
Dr Music - July 02, 2008 - Report this comment
I wasn't being sarcastic. I really meant it. We like it, we really like it. No lies, we like it, we really like it. We're being serious here, we like it. We're not being sarcastic, we're being serious. We really do like this song for Red Ant's and we want him to do more. We're being nice. Is that so hard to believe? You people are so hard to please.
Jeff Reuben - August 09, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I always thought the OS was about something creepy in some respect. Interesting risk on the OS, obviously not funny, but you definitely achieved what you were going for here with very good writing.
Jason - August 10, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still good. See above!
Matthias - August 12, 2008 - Report this comment
I don't know what to say about this one Red Ant... I mean it's not exactly impressive (A very short song and you didn't change the lyrics much). It was an okay idea, but Facebook appeals more to college kids, while Myspace appeals more to High School and younger. That's not a big problem with this parody, because that's not always true. But the other two things I brought up I had problems with on this parody. It's brave enough... But other than that it didn't really make me laugh.
Guy - August 17, 2008 - Report this comment

The term rehab is not ever a part of the pedophile's vocabulary. These guys are predators and I find this write funny - NOT. This write brought my thoughts immediately to the rape and murder of a Florida child named Jessica Lundsford. John Evander Cooey was the sub-human who mercilessly ended her short life. I hope anyone who has ever lost a child in this manner never reads this parody. The only good thing that came from this is that the state of Florida will take Cooey's life for his crime and that is just not nearly enough. I understand what you were trying to accomplish here, but think of those who would be hurt reading this. =:-(
Guy - August 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Ant - I'm off my soapbox now. Sorry if I sounded angry - I really am not. The above comment was the result of being annoyed at the image that this put into my head when I read it. FTR - I did 5 you on this. I creep out whenever I think about pedophiles. You will understand why I gave you no votes on the messageboard.

It's just to me more noxious than brave.
Agrimorfee - August 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Not surprisingly, this one has put some people off. Where does the line get crossed between making a statement about society or just writing in poor taste? I'm not sure in this case. If anyone else but Red Ant submitted this, would it garner the amount of 555s it's gotten as of this date?
Jason - August 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Agri, I have just read your comment and having dubious thoughts about it. So what you are saying if an author such as TSB wrote this, it would get a load of 1 votes?

Yes I did give 555 votes. Not because Red Ant wrote it. In fact, this would still get 555s even if someone else wrote it. Okay its not the funniest parody in the world, but I liked the message it conveyed and the pacing, so I felt my 555s were justified.
Dr Music - August 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Like I said before- I really mean it. Your song is fantastic. It kind of reminds me of Herbertt from Family Guy.
Agrimorfee - August 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Jason: Yeah, I'm kind of thinking along those lines. i know Red Ant means well, and if it was written by someone else I am not so familiar with, I'd question their motives. I'm not saying it's badly written, but...I'm just so on the fence about it, I won't put votes on it.
Peter Andersson - August 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Not even the mighty Spaff got fully away with trying to be funny with this subject to a Wacko Jacko song...
bobpiecheese - August 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) While I do love a good old Red Ant-style song satire, this one kinda goes into touch territory as other people have mentioned. That being said, this was good, but not exatly your smartest move (no offence). I'm surprised this hasn't gotten a barrage of 111 votes. Maybe people think the same thing about the OS?
Max Power - August 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Sounds like a sequel to Stacey's mom except...:P
Below Average Dave - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Jack, you know you and I are like best friends both on and outside the site, but even after reading this a second time, I just don't find it funny-nor can I condone it-even to the TOS, which I agree is kinda creepy. I know you are never afraid to speak your mind ("Foul Mouthed Me"), so I won't fault you for your opinion-we all have our share of controversial work that is appreciated by some and not by others. I just don't find the topic one I can laugh at very often, it'd have to be done to a point of amazing comedy (like some of the MJ humor) and not focus so much on pedophilia, but Jack, I still don't like this one-sorry-it just leaves me a bit queasy. . .
Invisible Boy - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
I appreciate what you did here, RA. To me it's satire and it's seeing a certain irony in the lyrics of the OS. Sometimes the best satire leaves some people queasy.
Red Ant - September 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks to Dr. Music, UnknownVotrix, McKludge, John, Jeff, Jason, Matt, Guy, Aggy, Peter, TCOP, Max, Dave and IB. Some replies are in order here...
McKludge: Yeah, Dateline's (more aptly, Perverted Justice's) tactics aren't good, and their mixing of sensationalistic media coverage and law enforcement resulted in a good number of their cases being thrown out of court.

Matt: Good point about FB vs MS. Keeping as many lyrics intact from the original as I did was intentional though.

Guy: Your comment brings up a wide spectrum of social issues, so, as briefly as I can, I will address them all. Calling John Cooey a "pedophile" is like calling Ted Bundy a "womanizer": limiting him to that name is a great injustice to Jessica, though not nearly as much as the law that was passed in her name, which, had it been in place before her attack, wouldn't have saved her life. I, too, hope that no one who has ever lost as child reads this parody, but if this piece raised any awareness (rather than "scareness") to the issue with those who haven't realized that evil can come in any form, at any time, then I consider this parody a success, despite the fact it's my worst SOTM finish ever (which was not an unexpected result).

Aggy: The only intent I had at the outset was pointing out TOS sounds like it was written by a pedo. Not saying Bruce is a pedo, just that with little change it sounds really sick. As for the votes... if someone else had written this parody I would not have voted it 555, but that's one reason we submit here (and enable comments): to get reactions/crtiques from others. If a newbie had written this, it would have most likely gone overlooked, or maybe gotten a 1 bomb. Then again, some songs along this subject line have gotten nearly 100 votes, most of them 5s.

Peter: True that. I recall not initially liking that parody or even come SOTY time, but I do like it now for its on the money satire.
Tcop: As my only entry in July I figured I'd enter it into SOTM. Yeah, I've done better, but I've also done a lot worse as far as pacing.

Max: I hadn't thought about it like that. I might burn in hell for laughing at that (no idea how old "Stacey's Mom" or Stacey are), but good comment none the less.

Dave: I respect your comment. I happen to have another parody idea for this song, uninspiringly called "I'm On Fire" about someone burning. If it were Darwin Award type material (like the dumbass who takes a flaming stick to a can of WD-40) you might find it hilarious, even though burn victims (which I have been) might find it, forgive the awful pun, rather cold of me.

IB: Thank you. That's all it was supposed to be, though the commentary this generated was far more than I expected or hoped for.
Ghost Of John Candy - September 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Red, you've got something every other song needs- and that is the power of heart. And let me tell you- the power of heart is not as lame as you think it is. Love the song Red.
Jason - September 12, 2008 - Report this comment
I noticed I was the only person to give votes (which were 4) on the SOTM contest. I hope no-one holds that against me for whatever reason.

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