The tune came and went
I could not make a dent
Tryin' to play the song that for a guitar was meant
I plucked that double string
But it needed more tuning
I don't know what I'm doing but I'll try it again

Feelin' all the mandolin pain
Listen to another bad mistake
Watch another string break every time I try to play
Wish I'd bought an old banjo
Frets are tiny everso
Listen to the dogs howl
Like they sniffed at something foul

Need more practice now
Never join that bluegrass band anyhow
Think this will be my very last song
I can't keep time
Chord chart on my mind- hieroglyphics
Then I find that I'm playing it wrong

Feelin' all the mandolin pain
Listen to another bad mistake
Watch another string break every time I try to play
Wish I'd bought a banjo now
Frets are tiny anyhow
Listen to the dogs howl
Like they sniffed at something foul

Practicing with fingers bent
I sure love the sound of an instrument
What the hell is wrong with this mandolin?
Now it's screwing up the tune again

Feelin' all the mandolin pain
Listen to another bad mistake
Watch another string break every time I try to play
Wish I'd bought a banjo now
Frets are tiny anyhow
Listen to the dogs howl
Like they sniffed at something foul

Think I'm giving in
Think I'll trade it in for drums
Maybe I wasn't born with any talent
I can't play worth beans
I guess this just means I'm a shmoe
But I guess I knew that long ago

Feelin' all the mandolin pain
Listen to another bad mistake
Watch another string break every time I try to play
Wish I'd bought a banjo now
Frets are tiny anyhow
Listen to the dogs howl
Like they sniffed at something foul