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Song Parodies -> "Total Eclipse of The Starks (non Philfy Phil Version)"

Original Song Title:

"Total Eclipse of The Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"Total Eclipse of The Starks (non Philfy Phil Version)"

Parody Written by:

Callmelennie

The Lyrics

Yes I know Phil Alexander has done this; but his was so radically unique, it seems to me to leave the field open for another, more conventional take. This one focuses solely on the Red Wedding with Lady Catelyn belting out the lyrics. Of course, there's also a new development that justifies a second take. Walder Frey finally got his just desserts, IF ya know what I mean
(Turn around)
Every now and then it gets a little bit boring, then bolts are raining down
(Bolts rain down)
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of hearing "Castamere" on the strings
(Doleful sound)
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the Lannisters haven't sent their regards
(Starks beclowned)
Every now and then I get a little less terrified, but then I see the mail on his arms

Turn around, Robb's wife
Everything you love is torn apart
Turn around, Robb's wife
Everything you know is torn apart

(Stabbed thru gown)
Every now and then I get a little bit restless, but Roose has me beguiled
(House brought down)
Every now and then I feel a little bit helpless as I plead for the life of my child
(King uncrowned)
Every now and then I feel a little bit anxious, and I know we all should get up and run
(Stroked by Hound)
Every now and then I feel a little less terrified, but then I see that wink in his eye

Turn away, Arya
Everything you know is torn apart
Turn away, Arya
Time for you to go and learn black arts

And we're bleeding out tonight
And we're bleeding more than ever
And if I can only hold back fright
I'd say this set up was damn clever
So you were only faking this rite
Cause this will always be wrong
Together we bear witness to the end of Stark line
That thug is using dagger on her all of the time
I dont know what to do and I'm really in the dark
We're in middle of a bloodbath and they're taking out Starks (Taking out Starks!!)
We're really reeling tonight
Oblivion's gonna start tonight
Oblivion's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling for Ned
But now I'm being felled by a dart
Getting really screwed
In this total eclipse of the Starks
Once upon a time Robb was King of the North
But now he took a sword to the heart
Curse you, Walder Frey
For this total eclipse of the Starks

(Cue brief musical interlude as Walder ponders what to do about the fact that Catelyn has a knife to his wife's throat)

Turn around, Robb's wife
Everything you love is torn apart
Turn away, Arya
Time for you to go and learn black arts

And I plead with you tonight
And I'm pleading more than ever
And if you kill Robb out of spite
Then your young wife's veins I'll sever
And someday we'll be making this right
North remembers all wrongs
Our young ones will plot vengeance till the end of all time
They'll serve you just desserts for this horrible crime
I dont know what to do, and I'm clearly in the dark
We're living thru a bloodbath and they're WIPING OUT STARKS!!
We're really bleeding tonight
Oblivion for the Starks tonight
Oblivion for the Starks tonight

Once upon a time Robb was balling for love
But now it seems that wasn't too smart
No one left to hew
It's a total eclipse of the Starks
Once upon a time there was Ned on a pike
But now I'm bleeding out in the dark
There'll be hell to pay
For this total eclipse of the Starks
This total eclipse of the Starks

(Serve it up, Arya)*
*Walder's just desserts, that is (Wah, wah, wah, WaaaaH!) .... Hey, how's your pie, Walder guy?

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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 13
 

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