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Song Parodies -> "I Need A Zero (The Kamikaze Song)"

Original Song Title:

"I Need A Hero"

Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"I Need A Zero (The Kamikaze Song)"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

Down in drain this war has gone
Where's the Wind of Gods?
Who's to fight the Yankee tide -
Combat rising odds?

Am I not a samurai
upon a flying steed?
I don't want to live if we lose
And now I know what I need

I need a Zero!
I'm flying out with a Zero
in the rise of the sun -
I gotta be brave
And I gotta be fast
And I must hit on my final run!

I need a Zero!
I'm flying out with a Zero
'Til the morning light
Now I gotta fly sure
And I gotta score hit -
Yankee ship'll be my funeral pyre
(Funeral pyre!)

We will start at sunrise
Zero laden with bomb
I will dive upon a flattop
I'm feeling serene and calm

Raging like the thunder
And rising like the storm
we're gonna sweep American fleet
like the Mongols of old!

I need a Zero!
I'm flying out with a Zero
in the rise of the sun -
I gotta be brave
And I gotta be fast
And I must hit on my final run!

I need a Zero!
I'm flying out with a Zero
'Til the morning light
Now I gotta fly sure
And I gotta score hit -
Yankee ship'll be my funeral pyre
(Funeral pyre!)

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I will go for the final dive and sink a carrier down in the sea

Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm in my blood
I will dive this approach like a typhoon with a scud -

(3x)

I need a Zero!
I'm flying out with a Zero
in the rise of the sun -
I gotta be brave
And I gotta be fast
And I must hit on my final run!

I need a Zero!
I'm flying out with a Zero
'Til the morning light
Now I gotta fly sure
And I gotta score hit -
Yankee ship'll be my funeral pyre
(Funeral pyre!)

(1x)

I need a Zero!
I'm holding out with a Zero
it will be my last flight!

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Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
555 for parody, but also a nitpick. Although a Kamikaze aircraft, the Mitsubishi A6Ms (Zeros) were not the only type used. Everything from Judy's to Babs and Bakas were used. In one of the early raids 100 Judy bombers were used. Recon aircraft and rocket planes were used as well as fighters... Good parody though for the PTO.
Rob Arndt - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Replacement for the Zero in 1945, the Shinden: http://ww2db.com/images/air_j7w_3.jpg
Patrick - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
A fellow I used to work with said his father was on a ship hit by a Kamikaze plane. The Japanese pilot survived the impact (apparently the bomb did not explode), and was treated in the ship's hospital. Another Japanese pilot was scheduled to fly a one-way mission but was allowed to go home to see his family before he died. He was traveling through Hiroshima on the morning of the atomic bomb attack. He survived the war and wrote a book about his wartime experiences.
Rob Arndt - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Most of the Ohka pilots were bolted in to prevent bailing out or ditching. The German Reichenberg aircraft were never used (basically a suicide piloted V-1). Same for He-162S. The Germans did, however, use Fw-190 ramming aircraft against USSAF bombers with limited success. Other German aircraft were fitted with Panzerfausts for use against enemy armor!!!
Callmelennie - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
A likely story, Patrick. How could a pilot survive intentionally crashing a plane into a ship? You would have to be traveling at least 200 MPH when you hit the ship. otherwise, you'd probably get hit by AA guns
Callmelennie - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Some forty years ago, my older brother, Chris took Judo lessons from a Japanese sensei who was a teenager in 1945. He used to joke that he was training to be a kamikaze pilot, "You know, when I was in the war, I went to very strange flight school. They teach how to take off in airprane, but they never show how to RAND airprane!" Then he'd laugh like a maniac ...... BTW, how are you, Susanna?
Susanna Viljanen - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Nice you all liked my song :-) The idea just popped on my mind. today. As you might know, I have pilot's licence, and I always love aviation themed spoofs.

Rob: The Japanese used just about any airplanes for Kamikaze attacks which they could be put in the air. Worn out fighters, such as Zero or Hayabusa, were preferred, as they were fast and manouevreable. But, as you mentioned, also dive bombers, torpedo bombers, trainers and about anything which would fly, were used.

Patrick: The Japanese preferred radial engines, which are both reliable, easy to maintain and also protect the pilot on accidents and crash landings. If the pilot had empty fuel tanks and the bomb failed to explode, surviving thr crash was possible. Most aviation fatalies are caused by live cremation, not the crash itself.

Callmelennie: The helicopter pilot who did the extras in James Bond film "You Only Live Twice" had been in the same flight school :-) Fortunately, he had later learnt how to land. :)
Rob Arndt - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Sorry CML, but Patrick is right- there were Kamikaze survivors largely from bombers who either hit the ship and the nose bomb did not detonate or from bombers who got shot down near the ship and were pulled from the sea (example: USS Calaghan). And Susanna, although true about Japanese plane varieties, 5 types were officially used as Kamikaze conversions: Mitsubishi A6M5 and 7, Kyushu K11W1, Kawasaki Ki-48-II, Nakajima Ki-49-II, and Mitsubishi Ki-67-I (Zeke, White Crysanthemum, Lily, Helen, and Peggy). Others were Judy, Betty, and Baka. In addition to suicide attacks the Japanese also performed bombing attacks simultaneously. Like the Stuka and V-weapons, the Kamikazes caused Allied psychological terror raising mental disorders of 9.5 per thousand pre-kamikaze to 15 per thousand after introduction in the PTO. And BTW... in addition to ships sunk and damaged, kamikazes damaged a submarine too!!! Japan's last official kamikaze aircraft was the Seiran bound for the Panama Canal via monster I-400 submarine. Last derived from German Reichenberg was the Baika. FYI
Rob Arndt - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Soviet aerial rammers were known as Tarans- from "battering ram".
Jonathan - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
sorry Susanna I don't have any zeroes to give you but I do have 3 5's!
Callmelennie - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Curses! Arcana-bombed again by Rob Arendt! ;-D ... When will I learn (lol)
Rob Arndt - May 07, 2015 - Report this comment
The submarine damaged by kamikaze attack was the USS Devilfish (SS 292).

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