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Song Parodies -> "(You're 3/3 There) Toss The Ring In Fire"

Original Song Title:

"Living On A Prayer"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bon Jovi

Parody Song Title:

"(You're 3/3 There) Toss The Ring In Fire"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

This is the third and final part of my parody trilogy about the Lord of the Rings movie series. For best effect: Try to imagine LotR fans singing it while in the theater, watching the third movie for the umpteenth time.
Uruk-Uruk-Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh
Uruk-Uruk-Hai-Hai-Hai-Hai
Uruk-Uruk-Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh
Uruk-Uruk-Hai-Hai-Hai-Hai
Uruk-Uruk-Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh
Uruk-Uruk-Hai-Hai-Hai-Hai
Uruk-Uruk-Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh
Uruk-Uruk-Hai-Hai-Hai-Hai
Uruk-Uruk-Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh...

Once upon an Age
Very long ago...

Shelob is a bitch with a sting
FrodoŽs been naive, heŽll fall with the ring
upstairs, her lairs
Gollum lurks the tunnels behind
Sneaking through the web, but SamŽs not so blind
HeŽs brave, wonŽt cave

And now he shouts: YouŽll fall back, IŽll hold this spot
That Hobbit is my master if you killed him or not
IŽll sting you more, and more a lot
IŽll fight, with all that IŽve got

Oooh, youŽre almost there
You must, toss the ring in fire
Pick it up, youŽll make it I swear
Gam-gee, do it for the Shire

Then he gets the burden of angst
So heŽs rapping up, an olŽ used tower oŽ, gangst-
a orcs, such dorks
Frodo wakes, heŽs getting it wrong
Feels stalked in the night, GamgeeŽs saying: Master you stay strong
Prolonged

YouŽve got to move on, thereŽs miles left yet
It really makes a difference if you make it, IŽll bet
No time for crying, just blood and sweat
This far, no time for regret

Oooh, ignore the scare
Oh-oh, sneaking into Mordor
Take SamŽs hand, heŽll carry you there
Oh-oh, heŽll ignore the odor
Rapping up this threesome

Now youŽll see Mount Doom, ready for you
YouŽll scratch up the side if thatŽs all you can do

Oooh, youŽre three down soon
Oh-oh, catching up is Gollum
Go ahead, Sam will hold off the goons
Oh-oh, living he will stallŽem

Oooh, youŽve made it there
Now you, toss the ring in fire
Throw it down, and for Gollum beware
Fro-do, do it for the Shire!

Oooh, youŽve made it there
Etc
© Peter Andersson. (LotR has been called a WW2 allegory, for those who are into that thereŽs a hidden Winston Churchill reference in this part).

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Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

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Know 1 can hear you dream - September 13, 2004 - Report this comment
If anyoneŽs interested in the previous two parts, written almost a year ago, here are their URLs:

Part 1: "(You're 1/3 there) Fighting with the Balrog"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/bonjovi17.shtml

Part 2: "(You're 2/3 There) Orchs Are Scum Aplenty"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/bonjovi18.shtml
Sweet Indigo - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Ooh, lovely. Nice rhymes, clever lyrics! Good job :)
Phil Alexander - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
We have nothing to offer you but blood, orcs, and fives ;-)
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 19, 2004 - Report this comment
And we have a winner, Philbo, since it is obvious from his comment that he has spotted the hidden Winston Churchill reference.

BTW, I'll take this chance to plug my other parody trilogy (Love and Profits, Part 1-3) that was put up in its entireity on what was probably the wrong day:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/franksinatra44.shtml
And also 45-46.
Glen S - February 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Great couplets and tone throughout this series Peter. I'm happy I finally got to appreciate it.
Scotty Dangerously - November 13, 2013 - Report this comment
After reading all your three LOTR parodies of one song, I imagined it Weird Al wrote something like this. I know that nothing beats Weird Al. But I'm just saying that Weird Al could've came up with something like this if he was an avid LOTR fan and wanted to write songs about those stories. Last year, I wrote "Ralph's Wreck-It-Song," which is a parody of a Hall & Oates song "Out of Touch." Someone suggested I could come up with a parody trilogy of H&O songs about the whole Wreck-It-Ralph story. I have not yet submitted the 2nd or 3rd part of that trilogy yet, because I have been busy like hell. Anyways, great job on the LOTR songs and wish me luck with my parody trilogy about Wreck-It-Ralph

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