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Song Parodies -> "Talking to a Chair"

Original Song Title:

"Livin' On A Prayer"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bon Jovi

Parody Song Title:

"Talking to a Chair"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

For those who hadn't realized, over on this side of the pond, there's a general election coming up in May. There are some planned televised leaders' debates, but after speaking on many, many occasions over the past few years about how essential these debates are, David Cameron has been playing games: he has caused many complications to be introduced, and now has said "OK, I'll do just one on precisely these conditions, because it was looking all too complicated" as though he's being the good guy cutting through all the complexity. There is a very real chance that he won't do any of the (probably three) TV debates, which has caused widespread use of a new transitive verb: to "empty chair" someone - presumably in the hope that the empty chair will win the debate in much the same way the one Clint Eastwood was talking to back in 2012 did (yeah, I wrote a "Talking to a Chair" parody about that one, too)

Nick Clegg (Deputy PM and leader of the LibDems) rather cheekily suggested that if Dave didn't want to do the debates, he'd be happy to take his place to defend the Government's record (cue much hilarity)

Ed Miliband (leader of the opposition Labour party) in a bit of petty populist grandstanding has said he thinks these debates are so important that if elected, he'll pass a law forcing party leaders to take part.

With children like this in charge of the country, no wonder things ain't better.
It's election time, not so long away


Public want a TV debate
Format's not agreed
No more time to waste
It's late, so late

Dave looks like he's running away
What TV men want,
Says it's not OK
We wait, and wait

He says "We want the leaders, in one long line
It doesn't make a difference if there's eight or nine
Each has the chance to have his say"
Oh, Dave - that's one mass debate

Whoa, but Dave's not there
Whoa, talkin' to a chair
But he's had five years to prepare
Whoa, talkin' to a chair

Nick says "I'll debate in your place"
He can't hide the grin
That's there on his face
He's smug... so smug

Miliband, well he's making hay
Says he'll pass a law
Is he serous?
Ed, no not that way.. no way

They're gonna broadcast with those they've got
It doesn't make a difference who is present or not
If there's just one, or there's a lot
Lined up: they'll all get their shot

Whoa, but Dave's not there
Whoa, talkin' to a chair
Kind of fun, but not really fair
Whoa, talkin' to a chair

Talkin' to a chair

Dave Cameron, let me tell you what
If you're not sat
There, you'll look like a prat

Whoa, he's still not there
Whoa, talkin' to a chair
Time for Dave to GROW. A. PAIR.
Whoa, talkin' to a chair

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.6
How Funny: 1.7
Overall Rating: 1.6

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   15
 15
 15
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 1
 
 5   2
 3
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jonathan - March 09, 2015 - Report this comment
um... what the 1's? 5's
Phil Alexander - March 09, 2015 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jonathan - I think somebody's jealous of writers with more talent :-)
??? - March 09, 2015 - Report this comment
Really? The undisputed fact is that everyone else here today is kicking your limey arse!!! Subject matter is boring as 'ell too!!!
J.B. Robinson, the Diamond Man - March 09, 2015 - Report this comment
Good parody. Have you noticed that Neil Diamond has a hit with "I Am, I Said" which also is about someone talking to a chair?
Phil Alexander - March 10, 2015 - Report this comment
Hi JB - thanks. I had my attention drawn to the Neil Diamond song with my last parody to this one :-)
John Jenkins - March 10, 2015 - Report this comment
Good stuff, Phil. I was going to give you a PAIR, but giving you three (fives) seemed to make more sense.

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