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Song Parodies -> "The Longest Film"

Original Song Title:

"The Longest Time"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"The Longest Film"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I don't know what the longest feature film ever is, or the longest "classic" film. But the following is based on personal experience.
Oh, oh, oh, yuck!
(It's the longest)
It's the longest film!
Oh, oh, yuck!
(it's the longest)
It's the longest...

If you go out to the flicks tonight (whoo-oo-oo)
be aware of reviews they would write. (ah-ah-ah)
What else can I do?
"Titanic" made me so blue!
That f---ing movie is the longest film!

Once I thought that great big ship was gone. (whoo-oo-oo)
Now I know its legend still goes on. (ah-ah-ah)
That's where you found me
and its plot, it still confounds me.
That f---ing movie is the longest film!

Oh, oh, oh, yuck!
(It's the longest)
It's the longest film!
Oh, oh, yuck!
(it's the longest)
It's the longest...

I'm that voice that's retching in the hall (whoo-oo-oo)
and the greatest miracle of all (ah-ah-ah)
is how they're coming
in this theater they're slumming
they've all come in here for the longest film!

Maybe this film won't be so long
but you love it so, where'd I go wrong?
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
but Leo's no star, Kate's nude less than I hoped for.

Who knows how much further this film's run? (whoo-oo-oo)
Maybe "Lusitania" will be done! (ah-ah-ah)
I'll take my chances
"Hindenburg" won't have romances!
Another sequel for the longest film!

I had second thoughts at the start.
Celine Dion sings, "Go on with my heart."
Now I know my mind will have a scar.
It's horrible so far, not a bore did I hope for.

I told those girls, "You know that boat sinks!" (whoo-oo-oo)
They said, "Really?" What a bunch of dinks! (ah-ah-ah)
This film is so bad!
Yet Oscar voters gave the trophy
for Best Picture to the longest film!

Oh, oh, oh, yuck!
(It's the longest)
It's the longest film!
Oh, oh, yuck!
(It's the longest)
It's the longest film!
Oh, oh, yuck!
(It's the longest)
It's the longest film!
(repeat 'til fade, or until the movie ends, whichever comes first)

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Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Melhi - December 03, 2003 - Report this comment
I think my hubby and I may be the last two surviiving Titanic hold-outs. Haven't seen it, have never had any desire to see it. I do know it was hard to escape the constant hype, for the longest time. Anyway, great job, Michael.
Johnny D - December 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Arrrrrh, ye be writin' fine stuff here, Cap'n Pacho !
Bob Gomez - December 03, 2003 - Report this comment
I haven't seen it either, and I still liked your song, especially the Lusitania and Hindenburg references. Way to go, Pach-Man! d;:^)
Diva - December 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Did you happen to see the film "Tess"? It was like watching a mini series, with two intermissions.
Lev007 - December 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Not that Titanic humor is all that timely, but a great job nonetheless.
Spaff.com - December 03, 2003 - Report this comment
"I'm that voice that's retching in the hall." Nice.

But not only have I not seen "Titanic," I've never heard of it. What's it about?
Peregrin - December 03, 2003 - Report this comment
V Good Mike, I especially liked "Hindenburg" won't have romances!"
Rice Cube - December 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Titanic is the highest grossing chick flick of all time. It's basically about two people who meet on a ship and fall in love right before it sinks. The amazing thing is how many people went to see it anyway, knowing that the ship would go down.
Duffy - December 04, 2003 - Report this comment
All 5s, Michael! BTW, what's a "dink?" :)
Michael Pacholek - December 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks, everyone. Spaff: "Titanic" ain't about "The Erection of Edmund Fitzgerald," though it might have saved a few people! Duffy: A dink is a stupid or silly person, and I needed something to rhyme with "sink." Either that, or "Spoiled the ending, got punched out by Pink."
Diva - December 10, 2003 - Report this comment
We got a "Thank You" from MP... Why, I'm quite impressed. Keep thinking those civilized thoughts going, Michael. I know it's difficult, but It gets easier the more you say it...
Adagio - December 10, 2003 - Report this comment
I had to see that for myself. MP...:)

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