What's the matter with the way we're playing?
(Can't you tell this game should be tied?)
Maybe we should recruit great big linemen?
(Welcome back to the winning side!
Where have you been hiding out lately, honey?
You can't get the players 'less you spend a lot of money!)
Everybody's talkin' 'bout New Orleans, funny
but it's still Sugar Bowl to me.

What's the matter with the guy who's coaching?
(Can't you tell that he's out of style?)
Should Paterno change his white-wall unis?
(Didn't he coach football on the Nile?
Nowadays you can't be too sentimental.
Your best bet, it's true, NFL assistant rental.)
Halfback, fullback, bootleg by the quarterback
it's still Sugar Bowl to me.

Oh, it only matters how you're ranked in the papers
'cause that's how you're gonna make the scene.
There's a new poll in town, if you're lucky then you've found
you can still be the Number 2 team.
Hey, that's your average dream.

How about a set of terrible towels
and a Nike swoosh on our pants?
(Well, you could really be a bowl-ready baby
if you just give the Swoosh a chance!
Don't waste your money on motivation speakers.
You'll get more mileage from those expensive sneakers!)
Next phase, wanna play, even after New Year's Day
it's still Sugar Bowl to me.

(All right, QB!)

(saxophone break)

Oooohhhh...
What's the matter with the crowd that's watching?
(Don't you know that they're out of touch!)
Should my players all be straight-C students?
(If they are, then they think too much!
Don't you know about the BCS, honey?
All you need is hype and a whole lot of money!)
Next phase, wanna play, even after New Year's Day
it's still Sugar Bowl to me.

Everybody's talkin' 'bout New Orleans, funny
but it's still Sugar Bowl to me.

Whoo...whoo!