You have to come and give your all...
Ashley!
Because she's speeding through a crawl...
Ashley!
You thought that baby girls were all
so good
but you will come to a place
where the only thing you'll feel
is globs of drool in your face
and you'll have to deal with
Ashley!

You called her mother paranoid...
Ashley!
But so much trouble she's enjoyed...
Ashley!
This babysitting became your crusade
but here you are with your faith
and a diaper that's not nice.
You've got new wrinkles on your face
and you cannot handle
Ashley!

Aw, thrown up, and no place to go!
She laughs through it, what does she know?
Won't last until Channel 13.
Look at your house.
No longer clean.

(instrumental break)

Ashley!
I'm sure you have some Doc Spock rationale.
But here you are at naptime
and she cannot get to sleep!
She's screaming from deep inside!
And you cannot handle
Ashley!

(instrumental break)

She tore up your Time magazine.
Can't read it now.
What does it mean?

(instrumental break)

Ashley!
I'm sure you're calling her mom to
rush home.
And there she is.
Wave goodbye.
Now it's your naptime, that's nice!
You've got new wrinkles on your face
and you cannot handle
Ashley!

Yikes, Ashley!

Ow, Ashley!

"Ba ba ba ba!"
Ashley!