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Song Parodies -> "We Didn't Start With McGwire"

Original Song Title:

"We Didn't Start the Fire"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"We Didn't Start With McGwire"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I wrote the original version of this on September 8, 1998, just hours before Mark McGwire hit Number 62. Since then, both rising career stats and the steroid question have revised this piece significantly. Fortunately, both the original song and baseball have someone named Johnny Ray. Unfortunately, Johnny Ray the baseball player was not a big home run hitter. Nor did Joe McCarthy the baseball manager ever play in the majors. Fortunately, I can still use DiMaggio, Mantle and Campanella.
Henry Aaron, Willie Mays, Musial, Penguin Cey.
Reggie Jackson, Mickey Mantle, Joe DiMaggio.
Sammy Sosa, some suspicion, Barry Bonds without contrition.
Jay Giambi, Gary Sheffield, Rafael Palmeiro.

Rosen Al, big bomb, Joltin' Joe's brother Dom.
Babe Ruth, the king say I, Roger Maris still the high
Carl Yastrzemski, his team, Mrs. Yawkey was their queen.
Colavito, Galarraga, kiss that baby goodbye!

We didn't start with McGwire!
He was chasing Maris from St. Louis to Paris.
We didn't start with McGwire!
But how did he light it? And how do we fight it?

Joseph Medwick, Jeff Bagwell, Killebrew, he hit like hell.
Stocky fella Campanella, Ebbets Field rocked.
Mike Schmidt, watch him hit, Ted Williams in a snit.
Carlton Fisk stalls, rocking Joe Adcock.
Hodges, no fluke, Brooklyn's got a hitting Duke.
Garrett Anderson's the man homering at Disneyland.
Bar bet, who da best? Alex/A-Rod boo-fest.
Prince Hal Chase, big disgrace, trouble smells like sewers!

We didn't start with McGwire!
He was chasing Maris from St. Louis to Paris.
We didn't start with McGwire!
But how did he light it? And how do we fight it?

Little Rock, home to Brooks, John (Boog) Powell really cooks.
Nudniks' steroid lie, Lidge gives up homer high.
Frank Howard standing tall, California long ball.
No weather here inside, Jimmy Wynn gives ball a ride.

Wha... uh-oh!

Frank Thomas, Big Hurt, St. Louis' Albert.
Carlos Beltran, Astro, as a Met he's no-go.
Ernie Banks at Wrigley, slugged in days of Kennedy.
Chubby Papi, CITGO, Red Sox with the mojo!

We didn't start with McGwire!
He was chasing Maris from St. Louis to Paris.
We didn't start with McGwire!
But how did he light it? And how do we fight it?

Bobby Thomson, Chambliss, Mazeroski's slam-bliss.
Bucky, lucky, Boston thinks he's sucky.
Joe Carter beat the Phils, Dick Sisler gave them thrills.
Rick Monday, Steve Garvey, Gibson beats Eckersley.
Jimmie Foxx, Double-X, Hack Wilson, pitchers wrecks.
Hey, Jose, Oakland A, there's a whole lot else to say!

We didn't start with McGwire!
He was chasing Maris from St. Louis to Paris.
We didn't start with McGwire!
But how did he light it? And how do we fight it?

No control, pitch it in, watch 'em hit it out again.
Aaron Boone, Johnny Damon, curses now in flamin'.
Prince Fielder, Ryan Howard, hope they've got all-natural power.
Brady Anderson, had to be from "medicine."
Making fortunes off this ride, steroids might be suicide.
Players' debts, big regrets, just like September Mets.
Hypodermics boost the score, baseball's gotta bring the law!
Rockin' slugger/steroid whore? I can't take it anymore!

We didn't start with McGwire!
He was chasing Maris from St. Louis to Paris.
We didn't start with McGwire!
But now he is gone, but the game goes on
and on and on and on...

We didn't start with McGwire!
He was chasing Maris from St. Louis to Paris.
We didn't start with McGwire!
But how did he light it? And how do we fight it?
We didn't start with McGwire!
He was chasing Maris from St. Louis to Paris.
We didn't start with McGwire!
But how did he light it? And how do we fight it?
(repeat 'til fade)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stan Hall - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
A 555 dinger, that also echoes the message of my "American Pie" trib to Maris. (http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/donmclean124.shtml) Rah! :-)
alvin - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
nice rump through the history of my favorite sport....the gibson moment has been my fave
MasonR - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
You hit this one out of the park. Score: 555!
Tim Hall - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
This puts Dave Frishberg's Van Lingle Mungo to shame
Doug Baseball - March 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Love the song - shows why baseball's still better than football, I dont' think anyone's ever done a parody with all sorts of NFL moments and names, have they? (Of course, now ou'll probably go and do one. I dare you :-)

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