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Song Parodies -> "Allentown (Or, The Tribute to Wal-Mart)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Allentown (Or, The Tribute to Wal-Mart)"

Parody Written by:

Andrew D. Lacroix

The Lyrics

I hope this gets to be added, my 6th. This is a bright promise that in many years, Wal-Mart has to reduce the number of stores to only major cities, and Allentown is only the 3rd biggest in PA. Bleeped out for your humming pleasure.
Well we're living here in Allentown
Where they closed all the Wal-Marts down
Isn't it a freaking shame
Work that long
To stand in the rain?
Sam Walton fought for what was right
Now everybody just quit tonight
Their kids just took the place
Can't believe we lost face
Unemployed here in Allentown

But Philly opened one about now
And it's getting very hard to stay...

Well we're shi**ing bricks in Allentown
Philadelphia put them all around
The promises that Wal-Mart made
If we busted ass
Oh, the money we made
The promotions hang on the wall
They couldn't give a damn at all
They didn't teach us right from wrong
And now we must...
Say so long....
Broke as hell here in Allentown

But they've taken the Wal-Marts from us
We didn't even have a say...

Every associate had a shot
To get as far as the parking lot
But something came and we're outta luck
Store went ablaze and now we're f***ed

We just left Allentown
for now we're Philly bound
But I have to work today...

And it never was hard to stay..
Go to hell, Allentown!
Written June 19, 2007, by Andrew D. Lacroix.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   2

User Comments

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McKludge - June 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Allentown is really the third biggest city in PA? Things have changed since I left PA 22 years ago. Sad that Allentown has gone from a coal/steel town to a Wal-Mart town. Is Dorney Park still there?
Dylan Baranski - June 19, 2007 - Report this comment
First the steel mills & now the Wal-Marts? At this rate, the police, fire, & other safety departments will close down, and then Allentown will be a haven of guerrilla warfare. If that happens, then John Carpenter will probably make Escape From Allentown.
Chris Frederick - June 19, 2007 - Report this comment
McKludge: Yes, Dorney Park is still there, and probably still pays less than minimum wage. (I worked there during the summers in high school.). And Dylan: That's one sequel that would be worth seeing! Fortunately, I already escaped 14 years ago.
Andrew D. Lacroix - June 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments, and yeah, it's a shocker, too, that Allentown is third largest in PA. Erie used to be third, but we passed them two years ago. Guess the lake effect snows in the winter got to them. Isn't it a shame if I'd have to drive 1 1/2 hours to get to a Wal-Mart? Thanks again, Drew.
Barry Wilson Jr. - June 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Good one, a blast from the past! You decided to venture into 80's music, and you came up with an exciting song to parody! Well done!
Agrimorfee - July 17, 2007 - Report this comment
This was not very good...didn't bring any new ideas to the OS except Walmart...paced poorly...didn't make much sense, especially in the last verse. Allentown, PA would be ashamed of this more than Billy's tune.
Barry Wilson Jr. - July 23, 2007 - Report this comment
OH MY GOD, this song sucks so much!
Grove go to hell - July 27, 2007 - Report this comment
I disagree. This song rocks.

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