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Song Parodies -> "Cone of Silence"

Original Song Title:

"Code of Silence"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Cone of Silence"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I've been working on this one since before Don Adams, who played Maxwell Smart, died. I think I finally got it right... but I can't talk about it...
(instrumental fade-in)

(Chief)
Max, I know you got a bunch of questions.

(Max)
Would you believe, 'bout a hundred four?

(Chief)
What I would believe
it's something we've
been over many times.

KAOS guys want to hear the secrets
that we've never told a soul before.
And it's not that strange.
And it sure would change
tenor of these times.

(Max)
But we swore to ourselves a long time ago
there were some things that people never needed to know.
So we got this machine.
Yeah, I love it, it's keen.

(Chief)
But now we can't get out!

(Max)
Sure, we can talk about it
'cause we're stuck here in the Cone of Silence.

(Chief)
We're never gonna get ourselves out.
Or, at least, won't escape today.

(Max)
Sure, we can talk about it.

(Chief)
But isn't this a kind of madness
to be stuck here in a Cone of Silence
when KAOS agents must be stopped today!

We don't want to lose the Cold War.
There's some things that we have to hide.
And a covert war
is what we're for
just to save the day.

(Max)
And I still have a ringing shoe-phone
which I carry with a certain pride.

(Chief)
But you can't reach down
with this thing around.
It's gonna ring away.

(Max)
But we've been through it once.
We know how it ends.
This is a rerun
and they'll run it again
on the same bat-place
at the same bat-time!

(Chief)
No, Max, that's the other show!

(Max)
Sure, we can talk about it
'cause we're stuck here in the Cone of Silence.

(Chief)
We're never gonna get ourselves out.
Or, at least, won't escape today.

(Max)
Sure, we can talk about it.

(Chief)
But isn't this a kind of madness
to be stuck here in a Cone of Silence
when KAOS agents must be stopped today!

(Max)
I know it well enough to tell it's steel in glass form.

(Chief)
That's not the kind of cone you're about to break.

(Max)
This thing is getting kind of stuffy in here.
Why don't you give it one good shake?
Or would that be a big mistake?

(Chief)
Too many moments passing
in this troublesome mess device.

(Max)
It's the second-biggest
jury-rig
I've ever been stuck in.

(Chief)
It's a time honored resolution
because when danger gets too near...

(Max)
I see it now.
We'll get out, how?
Call Agent 99!

And it's hard to believe we're stuck here still
because I didn't pay my shoe-phone bill!
Sorry 'bout that, Chief!
But would you believe
she'll still save us this time!

(Chief)
'Til she does something about it
we're still stuck here in the Cone of Silence.
We're never gonna get ourselves out.
Or, at least, won't escape today.

(Max)
Sure, we can talk about it.

(Chief)
But isn't this a kind of madness
to be stuck here in a Cone of Silence
when KAOS agents must be stopped today!

(instrumental fade-out)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - December 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(whispers) psssssst..i'm givin' ya fives
Rex - December 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Max and the Chief - the original cone heads.
Larry - December 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good!
Michael Pacholek - December 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Rex, just for that joke, I'm gonna five your next parody, even if it praises George W. Bush, the Mets and disco all at once!

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