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Song Parodies -> "Tell Him About It (Kristof's Reply)"

Original Song Title:

"Tell Her About It"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Tell Him About It (Kristof's Reply)"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

In the spirit of Eamon and Frankie, this is my reply to Arwen's fabulous "Tell Her About It" parody from yesterday...(check it out if you haven't already done so)...
Listen, girlsdating can be a freakin' minefield; and you know
That guys will usu-ally think with their penises; it makes 'em kinda slow
If there's something wrongwell, ya ought to set him straight
Coz he'll never figure out that you're jailbai-i-ait

Listen, girlsif you've got some skeletons that take up closet space
Like the fact you're so neurotic that you've bought a year's supply of mace
You can be upfront; he'll take it like a man
When he finds out you ran with the Taliba-a-an!

Tell him about it
'Bout your time in the Marines
That you've had your wedding dress picked out since seventeen
Tell him about it
'Bout your dad, the Mafia don
So he won't be sur-prised when he finds your stash of guns

Listen, girlsI'm sure that your guy will celebrate your honesty
Because it could get complicated if he discovers you stand up to pee
When you love someone, then love will find a way
But he needs to know you wax three times a da-a-ay!

Tell him about it
So he doesn't get a fright
You watch "Fatal 'ttraction" high-rotation ev'ry night
Tell him about it
That you spend your cash on crack
He won't pay attention; he'll be staring at your ra-a-ack

Coz you can bethe won't be listening
He'll be watching Monster Trucks or NFL
Your conscience will be clean and glistening
Then you can freely ask him, "Who the hell's Michelle??"

Listen, girlsits good information from a man who really cares
Coz he'll want to know if you sleep with mo' than half a dozen teddy bears
He's a trusting soulOK, the dude's a fool
Does he need to know you burned down your high school?
What should you do?

Tell him about it
Make the information clear
That your psycho gangsta ex-lover might soon appear
Tell him about it
Say exactly what you mean
Your nickname at college was Tina the Trampoline

Tell him about it
He's paying attention now
Tell him about it
He's far too quick and not too long
You got to tell him about it
Tell him that his BO is strong
You got to tell him about it
His technique's not that great
You got to tell him about it
You'd really rather masturbate
You got to tell him about it..

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   20

User Comments

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Jeff Reuben - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Brilliant rebuttal (and great turnaround time!) Loved it!
Arwen - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
First off...BRAVO, as Jeff said, on your turnaround time. =) Way to go.

You know, I actually had my wedding dress picked out when I was thirteen...but that was only because I knew that it was only a matter of time before Joe McIntyre, (of the New Kids on the Block) was going to stumble into Wyoming and propose. Call me prepared. And better to wax three times a day than never to wax at all...hehehe.
Rick C - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Too many great lines to mention. I wax poetic at least 3 times a day....555
Red Ant - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Bwahaha Kristof, this is funny. 5s.
alvin rhodes - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
nice comeback...hooray for our side...5s
Stuart McArthur - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
wow - you nailed that Arwen here, Kristof - hers was great but you evened the score on behalf of us blokes in lightning time - because they DO all pick their wedding dresses out at seventeen and they NEVER tell - it's just all so true - 555
Kristof Robertson - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Thankyou all, but half the credit should go to the lady elf for writing her doozie yesterday and inspiring me to rebut. I had lines going round my head all night (I think I got about 4 hours sleep) so I put it together at 2am in the morning....oh, btw Stu: be careful with the n-word, mate..;-)
Leo Jay - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
I think we need to hear more about "Tina the Trampoline" and "Big Boy Chow" -- the match made in heaven. Great stuff.
Peter Andersson - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Speaking of nicknames, in the village near where I grew up there was a woman known as "50 %". Apparently, some years back, she had been responsible for half of the couples living in the village at that time getting a divorce.
Stuart McArthur - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
the n-word???? - oh, yes, sorry, should have read "pick their wedding dresses out at seventeen and they RARELY tell" - I'm such a "goose" ;-)
Kristof Robertson - June 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Leo: I believe Tina's expecting Chow's baby soon........Peter: oooohhh, that's harsh!...............Stu: I was referring to the other n-word; rhymes with failed....;-0
Stuart McArthur - June 17, 2005 - Report this comment
er, duh, K-man, (as those Americans also say) - hence my brilliant and elaborately set-up counter-joke and bonus US-lingo double-entendre g-word, but gee, it was totally innocent, and surely not offensive, but if so, I'm happy to apologise :-)
Michael Pacholek - June 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Joey McIntyre? Joey McIntyre of the New Dorks on the Block? Suddenly, I feel better about my youthful craving for Barbara Cooper from "One Day At a Time." On the other hand, Vin Diesel could knock him out in about two seconds. So could I, but that's hardly the point.
Arwen - June 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Hmph. Put your money where your mouth is, Mr. P. I could arrange a little duel if you're that confident...; )
Steven Cavanagh - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Racked up some 5s from me.
2nz - November 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Very funny rebuttal, Kristof. Glad both you and Arwen decided to bring them back for the bums like me who missed.
Agrimorfee - December 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Oh for goodness' sake. This is almost stacked to win at least a 3rd place tie with a certain OTHER parody! Nice. (555 BTW)
stuart mcarthur - December 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(T) there must be some way we can put your and Arwen's halves of this brilliant repartee-rody together for the ages, Kristof - it should be required reading for everyone embarking on dating projects, especially for Tina The Trampoline (she didn't own up to you either, huh?) - LMAO - 555
Adagio - December 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Purely (?) funny, Kristof. 5's
Red Ant - December 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABCT05) See above!
Josh 2 - December 14, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC: ARGH?!?!?!?!?!? I DKTOS on any of these ABC's so far
Rick C - December 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Still a Kristofian masterpiece. "He won't pay attention; he'll be staring at your ra-a-ackā€¦" cracked me up.
Scathe - December 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(T) Nutty little response, Kristof.
Johnny D - December 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) What Johnny D said on Super Arwen's parody!
Dee Range - December 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(T) LOL at the stand up to pee line, among many others. Great stuff Kristof!
Larry - December 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Arwen - December 27, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC--RUBBISH! Rubbish, I say. I don't know where you got such a lousy idea, Mr. Robertson...but I'd suggest finding a new source. ; )
2nz - December 27, 2005 - Report this comment
What 2nz said, plus standing up to pee is usually a deal-breaker. Also, I swear I never met Michelle before in my life.
Jeff Reuben - December 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Still great, see above!
Jack Wilson - November 16, 2007 - Report this comment
I was just reading this to the OS and LMAO!!!!!!!!! THIS IS HILARIOUAS SHIZNIT, This must be your underdog best parody, cause its now one of my favs, and was only in an ABC comp, if there's a Billy Joel Artisrtry comp. or something like that, you HAVE to enter this. I cnat pick my fave line here. This rules 555++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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