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Song Parodies -> "That Line Doesn't Rhyme"

Original Song Title:

"The Longest Time"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"That Line Doesn't Rhyme"

Parody Written by:

Tim Mayfield

The Lyrics

Whoa, that line doesn't rhyme
Whoa, that line doesn't rhyme

If you learned to spell I'd be surprised
I think that it's time you realized
Hard on the reader
And missing beat and meter
So irritating that line doesn't rhyme

Why don't you go back and try again
I'm not saying that you should give in
But please do better
Spell check every single letter
And throw it out if it just doesn't rhyme

Whoa, that line doesn't rhyme
Whoa, that line doesn't rhyme

It's your choice you get to make the call
Only the good stuff will be read by all
Find a good topic
You will see it still gets mocked if
You have more than one line that doesn't rhyme

Maybe you'll find that I am wrong
If they like your song then give me the gong
Maybe I am right after all
Making good calls and I'm just trying to help you

Good prose takes some effort to complete
There's no ticking clock you have to beat
Writing good stanzas
Doesn't come from taking chances
I'm tired of pointing out it doesn't rhyme

I hate reading poems without sense
It's hard on my brain and just makes me tense
I hate reading songs without rhyme
They're wasting my time and I never quite finish

I don't care if it's a song you sing
I'm only interested in one thing
How does it move me?
Does it irritate or soothe me?
It irritates me when it doesn't rhyme

Whoa, that line doesn't rhyme
Whoa, that line doesn't rhyme
Whoa, that line doesn't rhyme
Whoa, that line doesn't rhyme

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   10
 9
 10
 

User Comments

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Johnny D - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Mayfield had a little plan
To please us writing prose
And all the words that Mayfield penned
Were planned 'cause not one blows.
Millard - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent, Tim. You do have one line that doesn't rhyme, and that's the whole point. Your parody does a good job of emphasizing how important rhyming is. I am not sure what irritates me more: writers who don't rhyme or readers who seem to be oblivious to these weaknesses and give 5s to parodies that don't rhyme!
Michael Pacholek - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Verdant-plateleted canines should read this and follow its advice. After all, there's a first time for everything!
neminem - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Um, what? Meter and reader may not be *spelled* to look like they rhyme, but that implies nothing. In fact, 't' in meter and 'd' in reader would both be transcribed in IPA (International Phonetic Alphabet) as an alveolar tap. At least they would in *my* dialect, maybe yours is different or something *shrugs*. But other than the line the humor of which is drawn from it not rhyming even though it actually rhymes, this song was right on. 5'd.
Stuart McArthur - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
great work Tim - very readable, ie conversational prose, which wins me every time

neminem - is that right? so it's called alveolar tap - I've learned something new - and of course you're right - it's how it hits the ear that counts - not whether there's a technical difference bteween a d and a t

definite 5s from me
Serafina - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Good one, Tim. You make a very good point with this parody. I'm giving it a straight 5-5-5. :)
neminem - November 21, 2004 - Report this comment
*checks to make sure he used the right term*
Yeah, it's an alveolar tap/flap (the latter two terms seem to be used synonymously). The "alveolar" part coming from the name for the little bump behind your two top front teeth -it's called the "alveolar ridge". And yeah... you'll notice, for instance, that in casual speech, the words "ride" and "write" sound the same. In formal speech or when you're paying close attention, the former is a voiced alveolar plosive and the latter an unvoiced one - but generally, they're both just taps.
*is studying linguistics*
John Jenkins - November 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Good point and well presented, Tim.
Stuart McArthur - November 21, 2004 - Report this comment
neminem - I'm dumbfounted...
Steven Cavanagh - November 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Great! Although there is a legit reason that few people think of: accent! Only an American, for example, could rhyme "back" with "Iraq". An Aussie could rhyme "Iraq" with "dark" and the Americans would think it didn't rhyme. I liked the one line that didn't rhyme. I used the same trick in my "Obligated" song by mistiming a line about timing. I don't know if anyone got it though...
Ingeborg S. Nordén - November 21, 2004 - Report this comment
A tad on the preachy side, but well-paced and well-thought-out...5-4-5.
Stuart McArthur - November 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I agree completely with Steve - as an Aussie I once rhymed Goldie Hawn with born (which rhymes exactly in Australia) but I got marked down for that non-rhyme

I think you're missing the irony, Ingebord - I thought Tim was having a go at the preachiness of pedantic must-rhyme-exactly people by pretending to take their view-point and thus making them look stupid, ie. irony...

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