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Song Parodies -> "Still A Sausage Roll For Me"

Original Song Title:

"Still Rock and Roll To Me"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Still A Sausage Roll For Me"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

The OS was actually released in 1980 to my surprise. Don't really mind cool food - but I LOVE sausage rolls

What's the matter with the food I'm eating?
Is the protein/fibre count too low?
I know you think that I am SELF-mistreating
but I don't have the money to blow
"Where have you been hiding out lately honey?!!!!
You can't eat lunch unless you spend a lot of money!"
Everybody's raving 'bout about the buckwheat blinis
but it's still a sausage roll for me

What's the matter with the apple crumble?
"Can't you tell that it's out of style?"
Should I get the lime and cardamom brioche?
"Yes, trust me!....it'll be worthwhile!"
Nowadays you can't be too sentimental....
Don't eat right and everybody is judgemental
Don't care, Marie Claire! I am flying solitaire
It's still a sausage roll for me

Ooo-ooh, it doesn't matter what they say - in Cosmo
coz to me it's just a lima bean!
there's a new way to bake 'em
but don't be mistaken - it's just filler for their magazines
....aimed at your Jens and Jeneanes

"How about a tray of fresh sashimi....
and a side dish of Latvian franks?
You could really be a gourmet, baby
if you just give it half a chance!
Don't waste your money on a margarita pizza
You'll get more mileage from a pesto/fetta twister"
Don't Care, Marie Claire! I am flying solitaire
It's still a sausage roll for me

What's the matter with the drink I'm drinking?
"Don't you know that you're out of touch?"
Should I sip it with a turned-out pinky?
"NO! ....that'll draw attention too much!
Don't you know about the macchiato honey?
All you need is cool and a little extra money"
Don't care, Marie Claire! I am flying solitaire
It's just a cup of coffee to me

Everybody's talkin' bout this cool food, honey
but it's still a sausage roll for me


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   16
 16
 16
 

User Comments

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Dee Range - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
LMAO! Very good, Stuart. High 5's
Kristof Robertson - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I had a sausage roll for lunch today...SPOOKY! 555, Stuart
Johnny D - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, and Billy Joel's eating all this stuff behind the wheel --- look out - look out - LOOK OUT SCREEEEEEEEEECH **CRASH!!!** 555
Arwen - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Stuart! 5s...
Stuart McArthur - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny - I've got one word for you: decaf......thanks for the 5s mate - Kristof - as long as you have a smoked salmon baguette with lime vinaigrette tomorrow, you'll be okay - thanks heaps.....good on you, Dee :-)
John Barry - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I was going to skip breakfast, but this sharp parody has whetted my appetitie.
Ashkicksass - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Love the original, love this. But what exactly is a sausage roll?
Stuart McArthur - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Arwen...thanks John....oh my God, Ashkicksass, don't you have sausage rolls in the US? Seriously?? My work is RUINED! They're ubiquitous over here in Oz - more sausage rolls here than donuts - they're small tubes of sausage mince covered in flaky pastry - gee I never thought I'd ever be explaining that in print! - then you dunk them in sauce ( I mean ketchup)
Adagio - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Good parody, Stuart. It also made me very hungry. 5's
Ashkicksass - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Well...I've never seen one but that doesn't mean we don't have them in the US. I hope we do though, because they sound delicious!
alvin rhodes - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
wondrous wordplay...5s
Stuart McArthur - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
they're sort of horrible, ash (like vegemite) but addictive if you're force-fed them as children - as we all were:-)
Agrimorfee - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Not even Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy with a fried egg on top and spam? Oh well. 555
Stuart McArthur - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
did nothing for me Agrimorfee, until you mentioned the spam - now there's a balanced dish :-)
Adagio - November 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Food Parody) Already voted.
Agrimorfee - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(FOOD)see above vote
Guy - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(FOOD) Great kolaches, this was good. I'll have mine with a side of fives.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 10, 2004 - Report this comment
(FOOD) This competition is on a roll for clever rhyming! (I swear I didn't intend that pun at all, I just looked back on it later and thought "I'm such a sausage") Yes, sadly sausage rolls appear more abundantly than pies at most canteens, and yet taste so gross. (May I just say that a thick smattering of butter and a smear of Vegemite on a piece of white bread plucked fresh from the toaster is the best brekky EVER.) And to completely digress, nice parody Stu!
Stuart McArthur - November 10, 2004 - Report this comment
can I call you Brat for short, Luke? Hope so, because you have achieved, Brat,wurst "sausage" pun award - until maybe 1 second ago
Stuart McArthur - November 10, 2004 - Report this comment
oops didn't see above - thanks Adagio, Agri and Guy for the re-visits
Johnny D - November 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(Food) See above!
Jack Wilson - November 14, 2004 - Report this comment
( Food ) This is awesome! I guess Billy Joel and food go together LOL
Saider E. - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
FOOD Not familiar with the song but a funny read
Jeff Reuben - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Snausages...in a blanket! Great job Stuart!
Paul Robinson - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
(FOOD) - I once met an Australian biker who was over here in the U.S. for a while (until they kicked as Aussie Ass back to Australia for over-staying his Visa). His idea of a good time was to get as absolutely riip-roaring, staggering drunk and get into a fight in a bar. Well, he liked to frequent the place my bartender friend works at, but out of respect for the 'tender he somehow refrained from fighting on those nights. But he still got sh*t-faced drunk. One Sat. night he got so drunk he puked all over himself in the parking lot...well, I lived across the street at the time so I offered to give him a clean t-shirt. I went home and got one I never wore (a "USC" t-shirt I was given but never wore because it had a high neck and it felt uncomfortable with the full beard I had at the time). Anyway, he said "What does the 'USC' stand for, you suck (expletive)". I explained it was a very well-known local University....anyway, a few of us went out after the bar closed to a Denny's for some food. A really tall, incredibly good-looking blonde walked by our table and Kevin made a rather crude suggestion about what he & she could possibly do later...she made a rather disgusted face and kept walking...Kevin goes, "what the f*uck's the matter with that 'flippin' bird"? So I go, "Maybe she doesn't like College Men"...OH...5's for your parody, Stu...
Stuart McArthur - November 16, 2004 - Report this comment
It must've been the College Men, Paul, because his Australian-ness alone would've had every woman in the bar queueing for his attentions, such is our laconic charm................btw if you gathered all the solids that he deposited on his original T-shirt, rolled and compressed them into a tube, then wrapped flaky pastry around them, you've got a passing approximation of a genuine sausage roll :-)
AMIRIGHT FOOD PARODY CONTEST - SILVER MEDAL - November 22, 2004 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=4854.0;id=2362;image
Jeff Reuben - April 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Working on a new one and came across this again. Still brilliant. And I promise not to leave your lyrics in my version this time =)
Jack Wilson - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
LOL I remember this one! Still great after almost 3 years

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