What's the matter with this song I'm singin'?
(Don't you know that it's for a flick?)
Maybe I should just go off web-slingin'.
(It's a special-effectin' trick!
Don't you know about the new movie's villain?
He's mean and he likes dominatin' and killin'!)
Everybody's talkin' 'bout the bad guy, funny, but
he's still Octopus to me.

What's the matter with my science hero?
(Don't you know fusion went kaboom?)
Should I try to keep his crimes to zero?
(If you try, you might face your doom!
Nowadays, you might end every fight hobblin'!
You're gonna wish you were still fightin' Green Goblin!)
Eight arms, no charms, no matter who he harms
he's still Octopus to me.

Oh, it doesn't matter what they say in the papers
'cause the Bugle boss is still so mean.
There's a Spider-Man in town, Jameson will always frown
'cause the story's in a magazine!
He wants to roll in the green!

How about a set of gamma-ray muscles
and a torn purple pair of pants?
(Well, you got problems enough with your tussles
and that "Hulk" film, it had no chance!
Try to get with that cute Mary Jane Watson?
You're being evicted, might be sleepin' in a Datsun!)
And the old Doc, new Ock, I'm in hock, what a shock!
He's still Octopus to me!

All right, MJ!

(saxophone break)

Ooooooooh, woo!
What's the matter with a Spider-Man sequel?
(Don't you know studio's in dutch?)
"Harry Potter 3," its sales, we'll equal!
(If you think so, you think too much!
Don't you know about the new villain, Parker?
A real big reason why this film is kinda darker!)
He's a bad guy, looks fly, he thinks I'm gonna die.
He's still Octopus to me.

Everybody's talkin' 'bout the bad guy, funny, but
he's still Octopus to me.

Woo... Woo!