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Song Parodies -> "One Brady"

Original Song Title:

"One Great Thing"

Original Performer:

Big Country

Parody Song Title:

"One Brady"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Do you ever wonder how the housekeeper in The Brady Bunch coped? From minding 4 to minding 8 with no mention of a payrise? All the extra work to cope with... And then there was also 'her'... 'that' woman...
[All the Brady kids]

If there's one Brady
That's causin' Alice strife
It's that Carol B., meddlin' wife of Mike
Does no work, is just a leech, seems to always be on strike
If there's one Brady
It's copin' with that wife!

[Alice]

I've had too much, set my phaser to stun
Harboring much anger 'cus I'm nursemaid to her young
The laundry on it's own it
Takes me all day to get done
But then I'm cooking dinner
While she's sitting on her bum

[All the Brady kids]

If there's one Brady
That causes Alice strife
It's how every day, Carol's always right
Yet she's acting all discreet, little priss, so prim and slight
If there's one Brady
It's 'happy little wife'

[Alice]

I shine away andirons and I clean the bathtub rings
I skim the poop that Tiger flings
My jobs include spit polishing her batt'ry pleasure tools
For nine to share one bathroom, was that architect a fool?

[All the Brady kids]

If there's one Brady
She'd run through with a knife
She craps on all day, and she's so polite
Not a single bit of peace, irritation she ignites
If there's one Brady
A weapon would be nice...

[Alice]

She's out of touch, think she might be a nun
Mike, he is a wanker, but at least he was still fun
I've seen the way this mother is a dead-set ding-a-ling
She made me shine the curtain rings!
I cannot call her Carol, that is Mrs B to you
For three fifty an hour, I should tell her "Go get screwed"

[Alice again]

It's that one Brady
That crappens up my life
With her Smurfette ways, chipper and so bright
Bedroom frolics, they have ceased, 'cus she found that Mike's 'not right'
It's that one Brady
I'd like to douse her lights

[All the Brady kids, but Greg faints halfway through the third line...]

If it weren't for Sam
'Deliv'ring meat' at night
She might take Greg, hey, show him her delights
Curly hair, and he's six feet, Johnny Bravo is her type
If there's one Brady
That sets her flame alight...

[Alice, the Brady kids & Mike!]

If there's one Brady
Alice would kill on sight
Should she find a way, it's that noxious wife
Both the jury and police, they'd acquit her right on site
Yes, there's one Brady
She's sharpening the knife!
"Where are they now?" ALICE was hired by a wealthy Sheik after he saw a Brady Bunch re-run on Al-Jazeera TV, and now she looks after 23 other wives, but at least she is a wife too. She still wears the same blue uniform and apron. She retains the bad haircut.GREG won the Nevada State Lottery and spent his entire winnings on one more recording session for Johnny Bravo. He failed. He now resides in a packing case on the side of Sepulveda Blvd. Describes his current home as 'far out'.MARCIA went on to be valedictorian of her class. Secured a position with the Clinton administration as an intern but found the job 'distasteful'. She was replaced by her friend Monica. Previous employer was kind enough to help her get a new job in a Cuban cigar factory.PETER took over Haskell's Toy Store. Still gets that really dopey expectant look on his face. His store boasts the most extensive Barbie collection in all L.A.JAN had an affair with Mr Ditmeier from next door, to show Marcia that she could be popular too. Instead of being popular, she found herself pregnant. Further to being the child who was always overlooked, she is now also the child that no-one mentions...BOBBY got a job as Hall Monitor for a leading L.A. law firm. When his supervisor is on holidays he has the added responsibility of changing the water cooler bottles.CINDY shacked up with Buddy Hinton, the boy who bullied her. Despite overwhelming odds, she became a successful Speech Therapist. Still wears her braces and pigtails.OLIVER is still a little twirp. It has been recently revealed that he had escaped from the set of "The Boys From Brazil", where he was representing the part of the experiment that had failed. He flushed himself to freedom after hearing of his scheduled scene with the Alsations...SAM got locked in the Butcher's Shop cold room by Bobby. He was never found, because no-one except the Brady's were ever seen in his store.MIKE was sacked by Mr Phillips after Zsa Zsa Gabor's hinged factory roof collapsed and killed a bunch of Hungarian perfume technicians. The subsequent lawsuits sent the architect's firm broke. As for the rest of the story about Mike, well, that needs no telling, huh... You know what we mean!CAROL currently serves as President of 18 separate PTA's in the greater L.A. area. She remains blissfully unaware of her negative effect on the cosmos...TIGER, The Dog, died in 1979, it was the lucky one...

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Mr X - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Strange, all this time I thought Big Country was a one hit wonder with "In A Big Country". This song must be obscure; was it ever a hit? If so, was it a hit in the U.S.?
Claude Prez - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, I DO know this song, it was my fave by those bagpipe-guitar guys. I remember seeing the video so I guess this was a single but I don't think it was a hit. No idea who these "Brady" people are, though; sorry....Kidding! Great stuff--"spit polishing", eh? Hee hee. Loved the "where are they now" bit too; does Greg have a beaded curtain in the doorway of his packing case?
Peregrin - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, Mr X, don't know if it was a hit all over the US, but it was a hit where I was, along with the aforementioned self-titled song, "Chance" and "East Of Eden"
DJ Midas - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, guys! love the "where are they now" info too. :-)
mandamoo - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Neato ! Hey, does Carol still have that atrocious hair style....the bowl cut with the long bits that kick up at the ends ??? Heehee
Peregrin - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes she does! The only reason they didn't get a mention was because I was running her down in so many other ways! Hmmm...."Running her down"...heh heh.....
Jonathan C. - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Great song, great epilogue. BTW, Big Country's other US hit was "Fields of Fire".
alvin rhodes - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
this was extremely amusing...i watched the show religiously, but never would admit that i did....loved the "where are they now?"
Mr X - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
What country are you from, peregrin? I'm from the U.S., and am totally unfamiliar with the song. "In A Big Country" was the band's only U.S. Top 40 hit.
Meriadoc - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah Mr. X! It was a big hit in Middle Earth! ;-)
Peregrin - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, if you wanted some decent "non-north american" music for a change of pace, WMMS in Cleveland rocked! There's a lot of good stuff offshore you know!!!
Mr X - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah well I'm nowhere near there.
Peregrin - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
You should move then, X! Would you like me to make an mp3 link 'available' on the M&P website?
SuperFreak - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I really love all your stuff but this is among the best I've seen:)
CeramicsFanatic - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Hilarious! You guys have done it again! :-)
Adagio - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Hehehe...5's (ABC)
Rick D - August 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Hated that show, liked this parody.
Johnny D - August 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) "My jobs include spit polishing her batt'ry pleasure tools" ..... While she's using them? You didn't specify, so I get to use my imagination! ;-D
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) I'm wondering why she'd spit polish a GameBoy. Anyhoo, great parody and the 'Where are they now' was a laugh.
Adagio - August 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I just read it again...I LOVE the comments at the botom!
Agrimorfee - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS, but it was a terribly funny read.455
Peregrin - August 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you all!
Claude Prez - August 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Restoring three very lovely fives
Jeff Reuben - August 20, 2004 - Report this comment
abc--Very good...enjoyed this one
martha - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
don't know the show but those "where are they now" comments are superb!
Lifeliver - November 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Wow! Somebody shamelessly knows the Brady Bunch inside out and I know it's not Merry. This is one of your best (sorry M). Like Johnny D, a standout for me is Alice 'spit polishing her battery tools'. Have some more 555s - sorry I can't give you 888s. The 'Where are they now' afterword is even funnier than the parody and had me literally LOL, especially Marcia's 'distasteful' fate. I notice some intimate knowledge of LA here (M's input?).

I'm proud to say I never watched this show either, except accidentally. I'd already escaped the family home and was at university, but I had to endure my younger sisters' TV tastes when visiting. At least it wasn't as bad as 'The Banana Splits'. The Bradys theme has been sung to me countless times by drunken female American baby boomers, so I'll get around to trashing it myself soon.
Meriadoc - November 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Glad you enjoyed it LL - I can honestly say I have not read this for 8 years and I re-read and cracked up at Pip's 'where are they now?' I cannot even say if I contributed a line to this - if I did it was probably Smurfette. :)

And just what were you doing with these drunken female American baby boomers while they were singing this? The imagination runs wild...
Lifeliver - November 08, 2012 - Report this comment
@ Merry They were (ahem) English teaching colleagues in Japan, who used to get the homesick blues in TGIF sessions, and so would share the priceless pearls of their native culture with the whole bar. Well, they weren't countless, but I was usually too drunk myself to count.
Peregrin - November 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks LL (and Merry!) I suspect that in addition to the 'smurfette' reference, Merry would also have penned "I shine away andirons and I clean the bathtub rings, I skim the poop that Tiger flings".

I remember that I didn't know what an 'andiron' was, and I wouldn't have been so polite and say 'poop'. Heh heh.

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