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Song Parodies -> "I'm Pinned Beneath My Things"

Original Song Title:

"The Wind Beneath My Wings"

Original Performer:

Bette Midler

Parody Song Title:

"I'm Pinned Beneath My Things"

Parody Written by:

Rick Cormier

The Lyrics

Maybe there is something to minimalist philosophy.....
Ohhhh, oh, oh, oh, ohhh

It surely is cramped here in my closet
I reach for a bag on the top shelf
Stand on a crate of flimsy pine, it gives way
Try as I might, can't catch myself

I grabbed for the shelf, what was I thinking?
It broke in half, weak from years of strain
I fell to the floor. I wrenched my back, I can't move
Then everything, down on me, did rain

I wish I had thrown away that anvil
And all these things I will never need
Bowling balls, weights and vises tumbled
And now I am pinned beneath my things

I don't know how long I was unconscious
But, when I awake, the nightmare starts
A pack rat, now trapped beneath a mound
Of useless items
Seems to be nothing I can do

I don't think I've ever used those ski poles
That engine block's from my sixty-three
Try to move, my attempts are feeble
For now I am pinned beneath my things

Why did I build full-sized model zeroes?
Keep all these things, all these things I will never need?
Oh, and why, why did I buy someone's stuffed beagle?
For now I am pinned beneath my things
Yes, now I am pinned beneath my things

Oh, I'm pinned beneath my things
Screwed, screwed, screwed
Oh I am pinned beneath my things
Why, why, why I say?
Is this how I will die?
I'm screwed, can't move, I'm pinned beneath my things
I'm screwed, can't move, I'm pinned beneath my things

Why, why, why on earth did I
Keep all this junk, now piled so high
Can't move, can't move
Oh, God, can't move
I'm pinned beneath my things

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 37

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   35
 36
 36
 

User Comments

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AFW - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
A very funny and fantastic job, here... has a good moral..and I'm also a pack rat, who can relate
Arwen - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
I knew from the start that I was going to love this, as I am the world's WORST pack rat, and knew I would relate...but when I read "I wish I had thrown away that anvil," I seriously LOST it...

EXCELLENT job...perfect!
alvin rhodes - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
i can sure relate to this one...funny concept..5s
Kristof Robertson - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Like Arwen, "anvil" started me off, and the crazier the scenario got, the more I loved it. Bravo! 555
Paul Robinson - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Rick C...I don't remember ever having you over to my place...but it sure sounds like it...lol...I'm gonna give you three 5's here...IF I can FIND them...shoot...I KNOW they're around here SOMEPLACE...what the h*ll did I DO with them???...~ ~ ~
carol - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
hehehe!! This is just too good! 555
Red Ant - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
This would make a hilarious video. Great job here Rick.
stuart mcarthur - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
we are of like mind, Rick
see my www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles935.shtml

...although I disagree, you should NEVER throw away anvils, ski-poles and engine blocks - brilliantly funny (undiscardable) STUFF! - 555
Rick C - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks AFW, Arwen, Alvin, Kristof, Paul, Carol, Red Ant and Stu. Yeah, it's tough for me to throw stuff away too.
malcolm higgins - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
keep room in your closet for this one 5-5-5
Rick C - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Malcom :-)
Lois - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Another great one, keep doing what you're doing.
Rick C - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Lois.
Spaff.com - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Once upon a time, anvils were used for something practical. I think. Nowadays they're only for dropping on road runners and, more importantly, THIS. More excellent stuff, Rick. I'm officially a fan. And a suckup.
Rick C - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Spaff. :-)
ken p - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
good job......get back to work!
Tim Mayfield - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Waiting for the recording with all the sound effects too, like a bowling ball, anvil, airplane, locomotive, avalanche, yelling, sobbing, whimpering, etc. 5's
Dee Range - October 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Pure parody genius Rick. Would make a great recording AND video. Great visuals come to mind here.
M!KEY - October 08, 2005 - Report this comment
OMG THAT WAS GR8 AHHAHAHAHA F****** HILARIOUS!
Teddy Bear - October 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Great.
wannabemustangjockey - October 10, 2005 - Report this comment
I have to ask who keeps an engine block in their closet, but even though i can't remember the OS it's very good.
Adagio - October 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I seriously can't believe that I missed this hysterical parody. Yea, Rick,I'd like to hear a recording too. I'm somewhat in the process of removing objects from my closets...a bigger task than I thought. 5's
Agrimorfee - October 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) That's some pretty heavy stuff, there. 555
Rick C - October 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you Ken, Tim (not sure I'll record this one but, I liked your sound effects suggestions), Dee, Mikey, Teddy Bear, wannabemustangjockey (nobody keeps an engine block in their closet but, exaggeration is common in comedy), Adagio (yeah, they sure can get full over the years, can't they?) and Agrimorfee.
Spaff.com - October 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Still a fan. Still a suckup. Here's an idea for the recording: Get an anal-retentive collaborator who will toss it back and forth with you for months, begging you to pile on the sound effects. And who will then, once it's done, say, OK, now remove 'em all. Then, after all that, get, like, six people to listen to it. That would be cool.
Rick C - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
HA! LOL, Spaff
Kristof Robertson - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Can't really express how much I love this, Rickster...BRA-freakin-VO!!!
stuart mcarthur - October 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) see above - loved the subs for the title, Rick - I want to see the sequel to this, to see how you managed to extricate yourself, and btw how much do you want for that stuffed beagle?
Peter Andersson - October 21, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - If you're to take Stuart up on his advice and write a sequel, remember to handle the coming-out-of-the-closet angle with extreme carefulness so to avoid any misunderstandings.
Your Worst Nightmare - October 22, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - Er... It would seem that I am the only one here that has not heard the original so.... DKTOS
Red Ant - October 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still excellent, imagine trying to sing with an engine block on top of you (among other things; the stuffed beagle was priceless).
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I know enough of the OS to appreciate your rhyme choices. Hilarious theme, it reminded me of Principal Skinner's ordeal. Witty from start to end. 555
Larry Hensley - October 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Many hilarious lines, very enjoyable parody.
Rick C - October 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks again, Kristof, Stuart ($5 oughtta do it), Peter (I will be careful, LOL!), YWN? Thanks, Red Ant, Luke and Larry. Glad y'all enjoyed it.
Johnny D - October 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "Use caution when opening the overhead compartments, as your karmic baggage may have shifted during life".
Rick C - October 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, John LOL! :-)
Claude Prez - October 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, what everyone else said-- lost it at the anvil and it got even better. "Ski poles" and "feeble" are great subs for the original ("hero" and "eagle", I think). Awesome.
Arwen - October 30, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM...go figure that I was attacked by my closet earlier this evening as I was searching for my favorite jean capri pants. I haven't found them yet...but I do know where my long lost moon boots are. Still love this, Rick! =)
Tim Mayfield - October 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still waiting for the recording...
Rick C - October 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, Mr. Prez, Ms. Evenstar and Mr. Mayfield. Arwen, I'm sure those moon boots are Supa-cute! Tim, still not sure I'm ever gonna record this one. If I ever do, I think I'd do it as a country-western ballad though.
2nz - October 31, 2005 - Report this comment
I wasn't sure I'd like this, but now I'm sure. Hilarious idea, well-executed and to a song that deserved it. Great work here.
MysteryGoat - November 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Excellent!! I can only too well relate.
Rick C - November 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you 2nz and MG :-)
Meriadoc - March 05, 2006 - Report this comment
This is hilarious! :-)
Red Ant - March 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(2005 SOTY) This is still possibly the funniest and most image-conjuring parody you've done. I understand the difficulty in singing this OS; I don't think anyone will hold it against you if you don't sound anything like Bette Midler (they might if you did, lol).
Agrimorfee - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTY 05) You ARE the pin beneath MY things! (blabla...)
John Jenkins - March 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Very good title, very good substitutions, and very good parody.
Spaff.com - April 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Still a fan. Still a suckup. Still pinned beneath your talent. Still awaiting the recording, whether it's schlock-pop, country, rap, or anvil death metal.
SEPTEMBER 2005 SONG OF THE MONTH - April 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Second Place
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,13532.0.html
Larry G - June 17, 2010 - Report this comment
:)) funny.. I have stacks of magazines,catlogs and other wonderful so called necessities..let it pile up more..:)) it'll be for me too..pinned.

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