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Song Parodies -> "To Hell With Them (Band Aid)"

Original Song Title:

"We Are The World"

Original Performer:

Band Aid

Parody Song Title:

"To Hell With Them (Band Aid)"

Parody Written by:

Offender

The Lyrics

Journalist P.J. O'Rourke's article "Fiddling While Africa Starves" is as good an analysis as any of the evils of Live Aid and Band Aid, but I thought I ought to add my two cents as well. There's more than enough food and arable land in Africa to feed every last African. All we need to do is shoot dictators like Mengistu who keep the food from getting to the people who need it. While we're at it, though, let's not forget to save a few bullets for those Satanic meddlers at the UN (in their Oil-for-Palace infamy) and, of course, the glory-seeking hucksters who try to distract our people from the real business at hand.
There comes a time
When we need a curtain call;
When it's time to spike a really bad song.
There are morons singing,
Oh, and it's time to put an end
To this, the greatest blight of all.

We can't go on
Pretending day by day
That their songs somehow will feed Africans
Their false charity, it is
Taking God's name in vain
Just to feed their hypocrisy and greed

To hell with them!
They show us children
Starving on TV just to put us in
The mood for giving.
That's our cash they're wasting
On worthless canned food drives!
I hope all of those celebrities
Get burned alive!

So, let's tie them up
Together in a burlap sack,
And then drop them in the river to drown.
As our Lord has warned us,
Pride is a mortal sin,
So let's send all these leeches straight to hell!

To hell with them!
They show us children
Starving on TV just to put us in
The mood for giving.
That's our cash they're wasting
On worthless canned food drives!
I hope all of those celebrities
Get burned alive!

They're all down and out,
They're losers one and all.
Only in the bridge
Do they even rhyme at all!
Well, well, well, well, let's shoot these guys,
Yes, go and get your gun
So that we can be sure the job's well-done!

Tune out their songs,
Forget the children
They put on TV just to put us in
The mood for giving.
That's our cash they're wasting
On worthless canned food drives!
If we shoot a few oppressors, that
Will save some lives

[Chorus, ad infinitum.]
By the way, if you fell for Band Aid and Live Aid's false charity back in the day, all is forgiven. I was just a kid, and I fell for it too.

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.7
How Funny: 2.3
Overall Rating: 2.4

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   12
 15
 14
 
 2   1
 1
 2
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   3
 2
 1
 
 5   7
 6
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Steve K. - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Is Mengistu still in power? The worst of all is the Zimbabwean president Mugabe, whose racist and socialist policies have turned his country from a breadbasket into a basket case.
Royce Miller - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
You don't mince words, do you?
Song police. - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Band Aid didn't do "We Are The World"; USA For Africa did. For your information, Band Aid did "Do They Know It's Christmas." >roll eyes<
Melanie Lee - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
"So, let's tie them up Together in a burlap sack, And then drop them in the river to drown. As our Lord has warned us, Pride is a mortal sin, So let's send all these leeches straight to hell!" Ultraconservative screeching: kill them in the name of the Lord. What happened to mercy and, yes, charity--as Jesus taught? Did he tell us to kill our enemies or to love and pray for them? BTW, I would've rated you a 4-1-2, but I'll be charitable for now and not destroy your average. Romans 2:1 (NIV): You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.
Melanie Lee - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
BTW, if you want to see a superior parody on the same subject, check this out: F..k The World" Parody by Craig Mac http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/bandaid200.shtml
Dr. Phil - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Why'd you hold back in this parody? Come on now, don't be afraid to tell us how you REALLY feel.
Ravyn Rant - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
The line "only in the bridge do they even rhyme at all" made me laugh, but geez! Let's shoot pop stars who want to raise money for famine relief? I feel like I should offer you a Midol.
Dr. Phil - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Midol won't help Offender, Ravyn Rant. Offender is using Amiright to express Offender's own secret inner pride and false charity by using the "Band Aid" group as a surrogate for Offender's own inner self.
pickle - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Chumbawamba released an album at the time of the original Band Aid called 'Pictures Of Starving Children Sell Records'. Yes, I fell for it too, but now I see it like I do Children In Need - celebs using a cause to promote themselves.
Agrimorfee - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Funniest WATW parody I've read/heard since "We Are the Worms". Acid-tongue satire worthy of Jonathan Swift. 555
Offender - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Live Aid, Band Aid, and USA for Africa, as I recall, were all pretty much bound up together. If anyone thinks the authorship should be adjusted, be my guest.
Offender - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Now Ms. Lee, don't be mad at me! I offer you some "ultraconservative" words from Jesus: Matthew 11:20-24, Luke 19:27, and Luke 20:14-16. If our Prince of Peace can talk so seriously about killing people and sending them to hell, I can surely make a few jokes about it. I might also remind you of John 1:1 which indicates that this man Jesus was and is none other than the God who commanded so many slaughters in the Old Testament. These modern-day Pharisees and Saducees had the nerve to use God's name twice in the same song in support of their damnable cause. And didn't our Lord also warn against this very kind of concert in Matthew 6:1-4? If I held back my hyperbole for your sake, it would only be out of the same desire to appear pious and righteous and be held in high esteem by the likes of you, which is the very kind of pride we ought to despise.
Someone walking along the road - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Your scriptural witness rings hollow and false, Offender, you are clearly just revealing your own personal pride by railing in pseudo-righteous fury against others. You would do well to stop quoting God's Word and start getting your own private spiritual house in order before you start screaming that other people you disapprove of should be subjected to terrible punishment.
Mr. Horrible - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Boy, Amiright is just a shining beacon of positive vibes today, isn't it?
Offender - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
In case you haven't noticed, Mr. Horrible, this place is NEVER "a shining beacon of positive vibes" even now when no one is under the illusion that his songs are going to get someone elected. I do admit, though, this is the first time I've gotten to watch a couple of people get really hacked off at something I wrote. So now I'm revealing all of my pride, am I, Mr./Ms. Somebody? And I "would do well" to obey your moral authority even though I don't know you from Eve? I guess you've really got me figured out. I think Melanie has a verse she'd like to quote to you about judging others.
Mr./Ms. Somebody - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Please, keep talking, all you do is keep making my point over and over again, regardless of what you say - it's very entertaining.
Dr. Phil - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Offender, we all pity you as you wallow in your own self-hatred you're expressing here...your self-hatred is reinforced and re-expressed in your replies to these comments, too, as you throw the commentators' words back at them, claiming they don't apply to you.
Stuart McArthur - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes Dr Phil, both you and Oprah would agree there (bit obvious) - and using "McArthur" to address me by also shows how much he needs to use aggression to release all that inner turmoil, but he's clearly a kid....

Offender, I understand your point about tabloid fodder and agree with you. The point I'm making make though, and you're too young to know this, is that everyone can remember where they were when Lennon died, and the impact it had on the world was massive, and lasted weeks, months.
Yes he IS definitely the tabloid -fodder type, being so flawed and famous, but what other tabloid fodder celeb would generate that level of mourning?
Nobody - which is my point.
There was something unique about him, and I theorise that it was the combination of plain flawed ordinariness with sheer genius, the ordinariness draws you in close (coz you identify) - allowing you to wonder, close up, at the genius
Stuart McArthur - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Please delete the previous post
(I got interrupted, had to ctrl-c, then I accidentally returned to this, the wrong parody - the post was meant for Offender's Imagine parody)
Offender - December 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Considering that your hand-waving projection of your hatred disguised as pity suggests to me that you're trying to conceal how hacked off at me you really are, Dr. Phil, I'd lay off the Freud for a while and watch some Woody Allen movies if I were you.
Dr. Phil - December 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Tsk, tsk. There, there. Offender, I pity you even more now that you've convinced yourself that I hate you. I don't hate you, Offender, you have never done anything to make me hate you. I love you as a fellow member of humanity. Such paranoia - convincing yourself that other people hate you - does not serve you well, Offender. The only thing I'm "hacked off" about, as you so colorfully phrase it, is how modern mental health services deal so inadequately with suffering individuals such as yourself. You deserve better, Offender, you deserve professional help to guide to you freedom from your sorrowful, pitiable self-hatred, and I sincerely hope you someday obtain the help you so desperately need, before you alienate yourself even more by convincing yourself that more and more people hate you.
Offender - December 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Gotta admit, Dr. Phil, you've got the jargon down cold, even if you're still no good at concealing your fury and your hatred, as well as your vanity. Again, I advise you to lay off the Freud and watch some Woody Allen. You shouldn't take yourself so seriously.
Dr. Phil - December 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Actually, Offender, I love you. What you just said, "Gotta admit, Dr. Phil, you've got the jargon down cold, even if you're still no good at concealing your fury and your hatred, as well as your vanity", is nothing but your lonely, sad, and very, very defensive projection of your own self-fury, self-hatred, and self-vanity on me. I encourage you to continue to post more comments like that one, because projecting on me like that - as well as making claims that it is I, not you, who is doing the projection here - will be very beneficial for you.
Offender - December 03, 2004 - Report this comment
The great thing about being on this side of the net, Dr. Phil, is knowing how wrong you are, as my reaction thus far to your postings has been one of mild amusement. I also know a taunt when I read one. Furthermore, I can see that, as was the case with a commenter on another parody I wrote that lampooned Linda Rondstat and people like her, you didn't get the joke. In addition to Woody Allen, I recommend a healthy dose of National Lampoon to you.
Dr. Phil - December 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent, Offender, excellent, please continue, it will do you much good.
Dangling Chad - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Very few positive comments, but 24 overall 5's. What a surprise.
Royce Miller - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Offender, I chose this parody to ask you some things, because you mentioned something about your age in your remarks, and I was wondering about your age, but you never answered me. I have made positive comments about your parodies on several occasions, but you never have had the decency yet to acknowledge me, am I right? Still, I have enjoyed some of your parodies, and think you have lived up to your name very well--remember, it's not a parody til someone gets "pissed off", as someone said (and people who say that get pissed off more than anyone). I especially appreciate some of your work because you do have the guts to express yourself without worrying about the outrage that ensues. Of course, you are using an assumed name, and I don't. Still, people find the time to get very pissed off at you, do they not? It would be delightful to get a response from you, if you have the time.
Spaff.com - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Quote:
"it's not a parody til someone gets "pissed off", as someone said (and people who say that get pissed off more than anyone)."

That does it, Royce. NO SOUP FOR YOU. Come back - ONE YEAR.
Stuart McArthur - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
do you really think it take "guts" to express yourself without worrying about outrage that ensues, Royce?

I can think of lots of examples of anonymous outrage-causers who didn't have guts - the unabomber for one - anthrax-mailers for more - I'm amazed that you admire those peoples' bravery

I'm not aiming this comment at Offender personally, but anonymously trying to cause outrage takes "lack of guts" in my opinion, and "immature lack of guts" more specifically

Anyone can throw a molotov cocktail and then run and hide - people with guts choose not to - out of self-respect, pride, courage, and maturity
Royce Miller - June 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Stuart and Spaff--it takes courage to be in the minority on this website, and I should know. That's why I think that the "funny" stuff should be separate from serious stuff. Because people cannot be objective, with both. They judge you on your serious stuff, and if they don't like your position, they hold it against you on your funny stuff. And you know that's true. There are very few people who are an exception to this, and I've spoken to those people in comments, about how I appreciate them. You keep on writing, and so will I.
Royce Miller - June 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Stuart-- You are wrong to say that I admire people who send anthrax letters, etc-------Speaking words and physically hurting someone are two very different things, and I think people confuse the two, unfortunately. There are many anonymous writers on this website---and like Offender, it's what he says that means something to me, not what his real name is. His age doesn't matter either, I just thought since no one knows who he is, he wouldn't mind giving a general idea of his age. I will not be bullied by you or Spaff, or anyone else here, and that's exactly how I see your treatment of me. And in the future, I won't attempt dialog with Offender if he doesn't choose to respond back to me; but I will look forward to his parodies.
parody police - June 02, 2005 - Report this comment
But what "Song Police" said half a year ago is true. USA For Africa performed this, not Band Aid. USA For Afirca was based in the United States, and Band Aid (who did "Do They Know It's Christmas") was based in the UK. I am sick & tired of having to do everyone's f**ing research for them.
Stuart McArthur - June 02, 2005 - Report this comment
parody police - you have permission to stop :-)
Stuart McArthur - June 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Royce - please retract that bully accusation. I was arguing with your point, not putting you down. My point was that it doesn't take courage to anonymously try to offend, as you suggested, it takes LACK of courage - and I argued my point above. Calling me a bully for taking an opposing view to you is attacking the person, not the point, which is exactly what (ironically) you're complaining about. Check out the definition of "projecting" if you don't already know it. I understand it can be draining to be part of a minority, but please stay objective, not paranoid, and don't lash out personally at someone just because they disagree with your point. I'm apolitical and always see both sides. I've voted left and right equally over my life - and I always vote for what the country needs at the time of the election - yet you somehow think I'm aligned against you. I also can't recall ever being negative to you. I've been positive in fact, as evidenced by a quick scan through your parodies to check my comments http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/bobbydarin9.shtml http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/traditional594.shtml http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/julieandrews46.shtml http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/julioiglesiaswillienelson1.shtml (and plenty more) so how can I be complimentary and a bully? Besides, you always comment and argue under your real name, which I admire, because using your real name DOES take courage (which was my initial point) - and I respect you for that too. In fact, I'm one of the people you said you DO appreciate, because I always separate my views of people's skills from my views on their ideas (one of my 4 comments to you above says exactly that) - yet I have had no PM from you complimenting me on my objectivity (as you said you regularly like to do) On the other hand I don't think I've had a comment from you on one of my parodies for 6 months or so, which indicates you're doing exactly what you're complaining others do.
Offender - June 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Sorry I didn't get around to answering your questions until now, Royce. Since you ask, I'm a young man who's recently turned 26. The reason I publish under this name instead of my real name is that there's no advantage to giving your real name out on the internet unless you happen to be someone famous, which I of course am not. I'm not trying to be "brave" in being offensive, just trying to be original.
Royce Miller - June 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Offender, I thank you for answering me. I hope you'll keep being original---and, now that you mention your age, I'm very impressed that someone 26 would write some of the things you've written. I understand exactly why you use a made-up name; I probably would have been smart if I had done so about 450 parodies ago. Take care.
Band Aid - July 30, 2005 - Report this comment
We Did Not Do This Song. USA For Africa Did. Parody Police and Song Police are telling the truth.
Offender - August 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Very well, Band Aid, the case is dismissed. However, you now face charges for the atrocity you did commit, namely "Do They Know It's Christmas?" Do you guys know just how lame you truly are!?
Defender - August 22, 2005 - Report this comment
They had every friggin' right to record "Do They Know It's Christmas." If you dun't like the record, that's okay, but show some respect (constructive criticism that don't hurt other peoples' feelings). And think about that before you go spouting off.
Offender - September 17, 2005 - Report this comment
They had a legal right, but not a moral one. I stand by my assessment; the world is a worse place for such false charity.
Mopping Up - December 20, 2015 - Report this comment
Litmus, you'll turn blue when your comment goes missing tomorrow. As for Offender, he/she hasn't submitted a parody in 9+ years, which probably proves that satiric offensiveness should be left to pros like Swift and Rickles.

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