Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Woody-Toothed Dude"

Original Song Title:

"Goody Two Shoes"

Original Performer:

Adam Ant

Parody Song Title:

"Woody-Toothed Dude"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

No, this isn't a George Washington parody. While it's a untrue myth that our founding father brandished cherry chompers, wooden dentures where used throughout early dentistry. They were just some wooden-toothed fools!
Verse 1: With his mouth wide open
Decay he can’t hide
His teeth had start wither, wither
Before the use of fluoride, fluoride
Cuz he was old-fashioned
Bought dentures of oak
Soon they become ashen, ashen
Splinters cause him to choke, to choke

Chorus: Woody-toothed, woody-toothed
Woody, woody-toothed dude
Woody-toothed, woody-toothed
Woody, woody-toothed dude
Can’t drink, can’t smoke
What can he do?
His teeth of oak
Are rotting through
Chunks of woods chips will get swallowed
It looks like toothpicks inside

Verse 2: He don’t smile in pictures
There’d be a fit
Cuz smilin’ gives him splinters, splinters
On the inside of his lip, his lip
He can’t stand that feelin’
Cryin’ out for a wish
Bare his teeth like pit bulls, pit bulls
And brush them all with varnish, varnish

Chorus: Woody-toothed, woody-toothed
Woody, woody-toothed dude
Woody-toothed, woody-toothed
Woody, woody-toothed dude
Polish and shine
That’s what you do
Has bark and bite
Oh yes he do
Teeth as cubed as a Picasso
Keep those teeth all inside

Verse 3: No one’s gonna tell him
His breath has got bite
It’s smelling like a soggy loggy
That’s covered up with fungi, fungi
Just ask and he’ll show you
Each wooden molar
His mouth is like it’s own rainforest
I think he may have gone much too far!
In this strange collection
There’s tons you can spy
Here’s an odd confection, section
These are made of bonsai, bonsai

Chorus: Cherry, chestnut
What else he got?
Willow, walnut
What else he got?
Many of these teeth are hollow
And some are petrified

Chorus: Balsa, bamboo
What else he got?
Teak, pine, and spruce
If he eats a jalapeño
Mouth may catch on fire

Chorus: Maple, Rosewood
What else he got?
Apple, Redwood
What else he got?
If they chip, no need scowl
A new pencil to write

Chorus: Can’t drink, Can’t smoke
With ebony!
Can’t drink, can’t smoke
Subtle innuendo follows
Mouth has got wood inside
If you didn't find this parody too wooden, and you want more Blaydeman, follow me on Facebook, SoundClick, Soundcloud, and Twitter!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - October 19, 2016 - Report this comment
Brought a smile- 555! And yes the myth that Washington had wooden teeth has been exposed. He wore ivory and gold dentures with metal fasteners. And he may have had experimental early tooth transplants too. People used to sell teeth as well. Wanted in Washington's time were white slave teeth.
Agrimorfee - October 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Pacing off in spots but I haven't lol'd this much at a parody since...well last President's Day! Chomp down on a 555.
bobpiecheese - November 01, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) A few pacing issues, but otherwise this was a friggin' laugh riot. Great deconstruction of a relatively obscure bit of olden-times trivia, 555 dentures!
Max Power - November 01, 2016 - Report this comment
He did used dentures so I guess that's where the myth came from, just a bit more expensive however. At least Washington wouldn't had to worry about termites whenever he sleeps with his mouth open.
Abbott Skelding - November 05, 2016 - Report this comment
Fun parody with a great title sub! 555 mouth splinters
Jeff Reuben - November 07, 2016 - Report this comment
Great title sub. Lots of good lines in this one. Well done!
Matthias - November 07, 2016 - Report this comment
Very goody indeed! Clever work with the title sub and great jokes without sticking to the George Washington references.
bobpiecheese - November 07, 2016 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above!
Claude Prez - September 05, 2017 - Report this comment
Thanks again to Matthias for catching me up on the good stuff I've missed -- as others have said, great title sub; very good execution!

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 940