clad in plaid
its really sad
the stripes are long
that run down my back
yes, i'm a goose
real obtuse
and drippy, without a doubt
there's even plaid on my tie
its a get-up, awry
must be a curse
i'm a tartan guy
i like wide stripes
all types
abusin' fashion every day
i wonder why

i'm in plaid...yes, in plaid
dressed in plaid, messed up plaid
i like mad plaids
well, i'm clad in plaid
yes, i'm clad in plaid

sadly a fact
i'm a union jack
even worse, i've a mullet
party in the back
that where it hangs
what a shame
i think its catchy
but some think it lame
and i hear lots of cracks
when i'm under attack
those barbs don't hurt me
i can take the flak
folks look and say, "wow...
take a look at his head"
then they drub my duds
in a stingin' way

i'm in plaid...yes, in plaid
dressed in plaid, messed up plaid
i like mad plaids
well, i'm clad in plaid
yes, i'm clad in plaid