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Song Parodies -> "You Suck at Every Sport"

Original Song Title:

"You Shook Me All Night Long"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"You Suck at Every Sport"

Parody Written by:

Jack Wilson

The Lyrics

For Ages of AmIRight 5
You can't hit on the green
You can't hit like a king
"I play good", you lie!
Kickin; you out , it's benchwarmin' time
Can't kick feet in the air
You're dumber than a stair
You try to be good, but you always suck

Cause; the balls you're hitting
Basketballs ain't dribbling
Don't think you're faking
You'll never make it cause you

Suck at every sport
Yeah you suck at every sport
When it is game time
You're so not in line
I wanna kick your behind, you aint kickin ours
You cause no applause
Makin me appalled
Makin' a-holes out of us, you're gonna be gone soon
Gonna kick you out
Before the first round
In a boxing ring you'd never take a swin
Baseballs you ain;t htting
Touchdowns we're not winning
My ass is aching
Unless we're playin chess you


Just stick to chess because you
Suck at every sport
You suck at paintball and
Suck at basketball
Suck at baseball
Suck at football
Suck at karate and you
Suck at tennis too
Ooooh you
Suck at every sport
Yeah, yeah, you
Suck at every sport

You really suck,,man tou do
Suck at all sports yeah you shosuch man
2007 Jack "Local Celebrity" Wilson

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   10
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Yoidy - March 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Well, at least he's good at one thing! 555
tomario - March 30, 2007 - Report this comment
can't you see Brian Johnson singing this to Angus Young great job 555
Agrimorfee - April 03, 2007 - Report this comment
(Ages) Well the parody certainly didn't suck! Perfect match of OS attitude to parody attitude. Reminds me of my high school years :( (hehe)
Wolverine - April 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(Ages) 455. Damn, I hate gym class all over again. Now we just need to add lines on sucking at dodgeball, T-Ball, and tag. :-)
bobpiecheese - April 08, 2007 - Report this comment
(AGES) All I can say about this parody is this: Story of my life. Except the chess part...I suck at that as well :P
Matthias - April 09, 2007 - Report this comment
"A-Holes" is one of my favorite words, and "Chess" is one of my favorite games. This parody scores fine all around.
Michael McVey - April 09, 2007 - Report this comment
There are a few sports I'm good at (particularly bowling), but in general I was more academic than athletic in school. Well written.
Below Average Dave - April 09, 2007 - Report this comment
(AGES) Well, it was generally very good, I have to admit there were a few spot where I had trouble on the performance end though--but a good parody, most definitely
The Charnstar - April 15, 2007 - Report this comment
My god, so many of these songs explain me down to the T. 5-5-5
Peter Andersson - April 16, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - And yet you enter this in a competition? (Just kidding!) :-)
Agrimorfee - April 17, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I hate to repeat myself...
Johnny D - April 21, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "dumber than a stair" ... LOL!
Max Power - April 25, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Good
bobpiecheese - April 25, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above.
wannabemustangjockey - April 26, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yup, sounds like me.
Jason - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This creased me up!!!!! 555
Kristof Robertson - April 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Great fun, Jack. I resemble this parody a heck of a lot. Lots of chucklesome lines, missed out two lines in the first verse, which threw me out a bit. Also, you need to proofread before submitting, as the typos don't look great. 454, dude.
Michael McVey - April 29, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM- same as above.
stuart mcarthur - April 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) hmm, sounds like there might be a place available for him in my (winless) Aussie Rules footy team - at least he'd feel at home with the Tigers - good laughs, jack - 555
Mikey Squirrel - April 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Pacing was off a bit at the beginning, but still very fun. I can relate. I suck at pretty much every sport, so I compensated by writing parodies. Go figure. Good job, Jack.
Below Average Dave - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Said my piece in the Ages here
Wolverine - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above for Ages comment.
Tim Mayfield - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The perfect nag song. Much better than here batter, batter!
Chris Frederick - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Generally good, but as others have said, the first verse was apparently missing some lines and threw things off somewhat. I can relate to the song, though. I suck at both sports and chess, just not quite as badly at chess.
Mark Scotti - December 08, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great job on the sportsless slob...
DJ Blaze - December 14, 2009 - Report this comment
The repeated chorus didn't go so well, but the rest was on par with the theme! 555
Below Average Dave - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Yet again--see above
Leo Keough - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(XYZ) The subject of your song would have fit right in on my rugby team!!!...Nice job!!!...555!!!
Red Ant - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
454 for the same reasons Kristof mentioned so long ago.
bobpiecheese - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) See above (again).
Melanie Lee - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Clever idea, good imagery, but I had a hard time following it. I think you could've managed the stanza-chorus separation better, and marked the instrumental break. Score: 454.

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