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Song Parodies -> "The Skinner Takes It Off"

Original Song Title:

"The Winner Takes It All"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

ABBA

Parody Song Title:

"The Skinner Takes It Off"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

DKTOS - Youtube video of ABBA and "The Winner Takes It All" click HERE

They come here to gawk,
At G-strings and tight thongs too.
They're most certainly,
Into an-at-o-my.
Leave their business cards,
Some lonely and some blue.
Folding bills they lay,
Tucked in lace and cache.

The skinner takes it off,
The boozer so enthralled.
His close vicinity,
Shows his density.

He likes how she charms,
A lap dance in his seat there.
His trigger drives his sex,
Having two stiff necks.
Skilled her trade is honed,
Thinking she's his "mon cher"
She plays her role cool,
But there's certain rules.

His rod grows double, twice,
Her mind's as cold as ice.
She whispers in his ear,
Get your hand off rear.
The skinner makes all calls,
His dimple is in pain,
Wants not be constrained.
Now once again he's missed.

Did she use and dis you?
Then burns out the flame,
'Cause she rules the game.
You paid for a ride,
More money now you issue.
And even 'though you pay,
Rules mean what they say.

Your fudge will stay inside,
Don't like a saddled ride.
Spectators at the show,
Holler and bellow.
The same thing's on again,
No lover, no girlfriend.
The flags rise high aloft,
When skinners take it off.

Most just want to gawk,
At those ladies unclad.
Most just understand.
They do not shake your gland.
Candy for the eyes,
If you must be a cad.
Being that you're tense,
Can't help that you're immense.

When you see,
The skinner takes it off,
The Skinner takes it off...

(Faded truncated choral lines fade to end)


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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adagio - June 30, 2008 - Report this comment
I was wondering how you were going to write a parody to such a sad song, but you pulled a complete 180 and left me in a better frame of mind, since your OS made me sad, and this was bordering on...er....well it was really good! 5's
alvin - June 30, 2008 - Report this comment
you captured the pathos of the strip club quite well.....thought this was gonna be about MULE skinners
Michael Pacholek - June 30, 2008 - Report this comment
I thought this was going to be a Hannibal Lecter parody. Too bad.
Jason - June 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Lol this is excellent! As I said in another comment I left today, I haven't been coming on much because I've been suffering from strong depression, and Im hoping to get back to writing when I feel better again. 555
Meriadoc - June 30, 2008 - Report this comment
I thought it was going to be about tanners.... ;-)
Peregrin - June 30, 2008 - Report this comment
I am going to go down a separate route! I thought it was going to be a parody about about Armin Tanzarian winning the lottery! Good work Guy, interesting subject :)
John Jenkins - June 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Well done, Guy. I like the "stiff necks" line.
UnKnownVotrix - July 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Guy, ~Lord o' Naughty Parody~ this does illustrate quite well the loneliness of stripping . . . .
Guy - July 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Pat - So glad to have cheered you up a bit and yes it is such a sad song. And yes it was on the border, alright. But as long as they stay kinda on the metaphoric side, they usually slip in.

Thanks - and I never visit them, but by some of the things I write you'd think I'd done a lot of stuff that I really never have experienced firsthand. I just read a lot.. Two guys I work with go to "The Palace" every Thursday for lunch because they say that there is a free buffet and they go for the food. They always try to drag me along. There is no such thing as a "free" lunch, and they look at Playboy® to read the articles. >BR>
Michael - Don't give me any ideas - it is hard enough to stop writing Bates parodies which I may have overdone a bit. Thanks, friend for your comment.

Jason - I went through a bout of depression for about 3 years and I didn't write parody either for over 2 1/2 years. I had no sense of humor.. When it breaks you will find new humor, wit and imagination as your creative brain wants to make up for lost time. Parody will flow like water. I know you have been in a slump for a few months now - depression can be a killer. I waited 10 months for mine to abate. It didn't and when I finally saw a doctor, I was so bad that I spent 5 days hospitalized. I lost countless hours of sleep if added up would have covered quite a few months and somewhere around 50 pounds. I am 6 feet tall and my normal weight is about 175-180. It nearly killed me. It will not go away on its own. If you get or think it is chronic, visit a doctor and get some help. Get well my friend and thanks for the comment. Don't wait until you are heavy intoin bad shape.
Merry - The Tanners? I haven't spoken to them since they keyed my car - now why would I bother to write anything about them good or bad. =;-)

Pip - Seems the title makes several of you out there think a bit on the dark side. I love when I can fool the reader with the title. Sometimes I use misleading titles intentionally but not this time. Thanks.

JJ - I had a stiff neck the entire time I wrote this. Now don't even go there, I was writing this while sitting on the side of my bed with my keyboard on my lap and the laptop screen 90 degrees to the left while I had already been for hours on the computer.

Yes, alas M'Lady I do believe that these young wenches are of the lonely variety. But I write of life both the bright and the dark. Thanks for the kind comment.

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