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Song Parodies -> "Voyeurs, Cuffs And Honey"

Original Song Title:

"Lawyers, Guns And Money"

Original Performer:

Warren Zevon

Parody Song Title:

"Voyeurs, Cuffs And Honey"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Merry: This was written Sept 20, 2003. Malcolm kept encouraging me to release it, but we never got around to it. So finally, here’s to you Malky...

Original song on YouTube

I went home with the waitress
The one who looked like mom
How was I to know
She was doubling as a dom?

I was blinded with bandana
Just want a little kiss
Got voyeurs, cuffs and honey
Hope she don’t try a bris!

She said “I’m your commander”
Nerve it came unstuck
Between a rock and a hard place
This waitress was bad luck
Came at me like a truck
I felt like such a schmuck

Now I'm tied up on the mattress
Need a new battle plan
Got voyeurs, cuffs and honey
And she looks like Roseanne...

Got voyeurs, cuffs and honey...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - October 09, 2012 - Report this comment
:-) Just waiting for the BDSM YMCA parody to follow it up..
Lifeliver - October 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Nice tie-up. Don't care for the song much but that's just me. Your Mums look like Roseanne? Better have some 555s.
John Barry - October 09, 2012 - Report this comment
WZ, my favorite singer-songwriter.
Meriadoc - October 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks for the idea Phil!

LL: weren't supposed to notice the discrepancy ;)

JB: Yes, one of mine too. He was highly underrated I think, mostly because the two tunes that were actually hits were among the worse that he ever wrote IMHO. He had so much good stuff, but the tripe gets on the radio.
Tommy Turtle - October 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Where *do* you come up with this endless supply of TTDKTOSs? ;) LOL @ "Roseanne".

Follow-up: "Gypsies, Tramps And Thieves" (that 108-yr-old chick with the plastic surgery) = "Whips, Pees, Clamps: Aggrieves" (last one could be improved upon).

Pip's heads-up (or was it down? ;) e-mail gave me a chance to point him to TT's paean to Dommie Dearest. Guess this is an opportunity to come out in public, so to speak: -- easy title "switch", so to speak. xD

AFW - October 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Agree with other comments...and Rosanne is always good for a laugh...the first two lines suggest a Freudian story by themselves
Dee Range - October 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Wish I had written this! Outstanding in every way.....
Meriadoc - October 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks to both of you :)
Tommy Turtle @ Meriadoc - October 14, 2012 - Report this comment
"both of you"? Which "both"? What am I, chopped turtle liver? Or did the reappearance of our long-lost parody soul-mate, Dee Range, slip past your admittedly ADDle-brained mind?

(admits the possibliity of cross-posting -- it's happended to moi. xoxoxo moi-muah!)

(psst! -- Merry -- it looks like our secret conspiracy to bring back The Old Crowd, and to restore the site to its former glory, is working! "Mum's" the word! xD)
Meriadoc - October 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Sorry TT - I read it and wandered off to one of your links...

You know, your personal motto could be:

"I link, therefore I am".... ;)
Rene DescarTTes - October 15, 2012 - Report this comment
I like it! -- although for me, it's always been "Burrito ergo sum" ("I fart, therefore I am").

I am a bona fide descendant of Abe Linkin'. ;)

(True:) Having made an attempt at a career as an actor, voiceover, etc., in La-La Land, "shameless self-promotion" is an oxymoron. There's nothing "shameful" or "shameless" about it; it's an absolute necessity for survival. OK, it didn't support my substance dependency (I had become dangerously dependent on ingesting "food", sometimes two or even three times a day), but I still get residual checks from work done 20+ years ago, my voice is in an Oscar-winning movie (I didn't win the Oscar, or I'd still be there, d'oh ;), and have some nice video, photo, and magazine mementos.

Pile that onto an extremely successful career as a stockbroker, from cold-calling strangers to tops in the office within two years (which produced enough savings to go take the shot at acting, without "parking cars and pumping gas"), and alas, self-promotion is an ingrained habit.

(Also true:) I am very distantly related to P. T. Barnum, of the Ringling Bros. Barnum and Bailey Circus, who was famous for saying, "I don't care what they say about me, as long as they spell my name right." (Not many people misspell "TT", lol).

Besides, did you not "like" them? No obligation, ever, and if it's become annoying, I'll take my links and go home ... (sniff) -- no, really, just say the word.
Meriadoc - October 16, 2012 - Report this comment
Link away TT!

And.... here's a link:
Tommy Turtle - October 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Oops! -- whined about having been barred from linking, in comment @ Tuesday Jacks-off-spin, before reading this. :(
V/c'd the other -- on-topic (and funny), both of which YHS truly tries to be in his Linkin' Continuental. ;-D

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