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Song Parodies -> "(Don't Wanna D)KTOS"

Original Song Title:

"Y.M.C.A."

Original Performer:

Village People

Parody Song Title:

"(Don't Wanna D)KTOS"

Parody Written by:

Cat

The Lyrics

I don't get it. How come I can crank out something like Be Our Guest or TWOTEF relatively quickly, yet for a supposedly cinchy little song like Y.M.C.A., I start it, leave it half-finished for a month when I begin to draw a blank, and when I come back to it, I still have a bit of trouble with it? Do I have parodist's dyslexia or what? Oh, and by the way, this is intended to be at least somewhat tongue-in-cheek. Of course there are songs which I DKTOS for but I still thoroughly enjoy. It's just that one day this idea occurred to me, and I ran with it.
Spoofers...write stuff here all the time
They are masters...of the pun and the rhyme
To the top of...the rating charts they climb
But they have one major weakness

So if...you are here taking notes
The top chart hits...seem to garner more votes
Even humor...applied in big, thick coats
Just cannot hide an unknown tune

I just don't wanna D K-T-O-S!
Please don't give me a D K-T-O-S!
And I really don't care if my pacing's all wrong
But you better know the damn song!

I'll go nuts if it's D K-T-O-S!
Just spare me from the D K-T-O-S!
I put lots of hard work into this here send-up
So comment, and don't interrupt!

Truth is...no one knows every tune
So it's posted...and you feel like a loon
And you spout off...but you know pretty soon
That there will be re-per-cussions

If your...brain has just been totaled
You will resort...to the Major-Gen'ral
Even though you...have to count syllables
At least everyone here knows it!

If you truthfully D K-T-O-S
Still don't type in the D K-T-O-S!
I just don't have the time to dig up MP3s
Fake, pretend, and pander to me!

Why do you give me D K-T-O-S?
Oh gosh, don't make it D K-T-O-S!
You can downgrade me here, in humor, give me hell
But please, do know my OS well!

So if...you're a newbie, don't spaz
Stay away from...polka, techno and jazz
Yes, because it's...just a pain in the az
If you don't get any comments

It's been...proven here over years
That the good spoofs...are without "that's unclear"s
Good OSes, if one drinks a few beers
Most people will sing quite loudly!

If you don't want the D K-T-O-S
Don't write spoofs that garner D K-T-O-S
Just go stick to your guns, and old 70s pap,
Even though it may sound like crap!

K-T-O-S...just avoid that D-K-T-O-S
Spoofers, spoofers, send-up cheesy pop songs
Spoofers, spoofers, with that you can't go wrong!
K-T-O-S...just avoid that D-K-T-O-S
Spoofers, spoofers, send-up cheesy pop songs
Spoofers, spoofers, with that you can't go wrong!
K-T-O-S...steer clear of the D-K-T-O-S
Spoofers, spoofers, be smart and do the math
Spoofers, spoofers, wanna be the next Spaff?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   17
 17
 17
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Topically clever.
Stephen Harrington - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
5s, clever it is. BTW, I don't know Major General(I really don't), just thought I'd point that out(no offense intended). I've wrote alot of parodies to rare songs, so I'm really familiar with DKTOS popping up in my comments. The parodies I write usually come up from improvising to songs and/or inspiration. So if it happens to be to a rare song, so be it. All in all, it all comes down to enjoying the hobby(besides, I've done parodies to more popular songs and still didn't get much votes or comments, I don't do anything I don't own now).
Paree Dee - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
What an enjoyable read/sing ! It was really hard to do the arm movements to KTOS, though, got a bit twisted there... ;) But I can do the math.... 5 & 5 & 5 ....
Agrimorfee - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
This song could apply towards most of my parody catalog here. 555
alvin rhodes - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
UKTOS (unfortunately know the original song) but you've made it quite palatable with your clever reworking...great job
Stuart McArthur - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
definitely KTOS - and sometimes I've noticed DKTOS being used to avoid thinking of a comment (god knows why) - because some songs surely EKTOS, but the only way to avoid them is old show tunes or Beatles Number Ones - 555
Rick C - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Sorry, Cat but, I DKTOS (Do know this one, silly). Had to sing it a few hundred times at weddings. Some good advice here. 555
AFW - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Good work, and good advice...fives
BDWGameManiac - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Great and Great and Great. In math terms, that equas 5 and 5 and 5. Unless that teacher was lieing. Stupid reading/math mixture classes.
Michael Pacholek - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTOS (Sick of the original song), but you still get an F-I-V-E.
Tommy Turtle - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
I YMCA this. 555 (Yeah, Mon, Cat's Amusing.).... (unfortunately, there's probably nothing that "everybody" knows.)
Red Ant - March 29, 2006 - Report this comment
We are on the same wavelength, Cat. Check out my parody yesterday called "Don't Know The Original". We both even mentioned the Major-General's song, heh heh. Oh, "old 70s pap, Even though it may sound like crap!" - this song qualifies. I did d/l TOS since I haven't heard it in ages, however 30 seconds in I stopped the play. 5s.
Larry Hensley - March 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Also UKTOS and SOTOS, but this was still an excellent parody. 555s
Cat - March 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone!!! And will do, Red Ant.
Agrimorfee - October 05, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4) I still KTOS.
Matthias - October 09, 2007 - Report this comment
I don't want people to KTOS... Because I want to introduce it to them, thus they can do it themselves. Okay, I just don't like anything on Billboard is more really the reason, but popular music sucks. 5's
bobpiecheese - October 15, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4) Horrible OS, brilliant parody (don't know WHY I haven't commented on this one before)!
stuart mcarthur - October 17, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4) see above - yeah, this was a great idea, superbly written Cat - you sure kicked az with this - lovely ref to Spaff at the end too
Kristof Robertson - October 17, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4D) How'd I miss this gem? Incisive, educational and way chucklesome. 555
Jeff Reuben - October 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent job here Cat! Loved the idea, I can almost stand listening to the OS (with your lyrics, of course)
Below Average Dave (badave.com) - October 17, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) I DKTOS. . . Sorry, I had TO do that, but I do know TOS. . .and I think you did an amazing job with it.
Mikey Squirrel - October 17, 2007 - Report this comment
ABC- WIDKTOSBIDSIEIOMTFTSOTPBTIRG (Wish I didn't know original song but I do so I'll endure it one more time for the sake of your parody because this is really good)

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