Where you will find no pleasure, take on a desp'rate measure, compliance with urology
Who can break more things by 9 AM than anyone else all day? - it's not Nav-y
Where will you learn do or die sweat your shorts and survive muddy geography
Get to know your sweat gland scrape and paint the grand stand beat the crap out of your feet

In the Army, yes, you'll be all that you can be
In the Army, yes, pardon me now if you please
In the Army, but it's like all that you can stand
In the Army, you can camp out in the sand
In the Army, go on invade a foreign land
In the Army, maybe just join the Army band
In the Army, you'll do all that you can stand

They'll see you! They'll see you! They'll see you in your birthday suit!

If you like indenture, can't wait for your tormentor, and saluting unsurpassed
Want to urinate, in shock will be your state, Just how long will this whining last?
It's no fun to be an Army of one, Thought this was an Army of fun
Hate this tour I'd be better off with Old Navy, inspecting the band and seam

In the Army, yes, you'll be all that you can be
In the Army, yes, pardon me now if you please
In the Army, but it's like all that you can stand
In the Army, you can camp out in the sand
In the Army, go on invade a foreign land
In the Army, maybe just join the Army band
In the Army, you'll do all that you can stand


They'll see you! They'll see you! They'll see you in your birthday suit!
They'll put you, they'll put you, they'll put you in their union suit!

In the Army, you won't sail upon the sea
In the Army just be all that you can be
In the Army be all that you can stand
In the Army break more stuff by 9 A M
Than the Navy can fix with all its men
And the Air Force can pick up and fly away
And the whole world can break the live long day

In the Army, please don't harm me
Screw the Army, boo the Army, screw the Army