Drivin' along all you see in your mirror
Drivin' along is the prat behind
Drivin' along six inches from your bumper
Who's driving you out of your mind

Wear a crash hat like the fellows on their mopeds
Wear a crash hat and a safety belt
Drive a white van overtaking on the inside
Drive a white van it's the white van man

Catch a brief glimpse of an a***hole in a Transit
Say a quick prayer and then hit the brake
Take a black cat and see it get run over
And in the hospital is where you'll wake

[Instrumental]

Tear along the road like a demon has possessed you
Close as you can to the car in front
Drive a white van with no traces of ability
Drive a white van it's the white van man