if you see a cornfield full of hick stars
and they're shooting up out of the ground
and they grin while picking...on their steel guitars
you may try to escape from the sound
they're drawling too much...and its sappy, its true
see those silly lunks...no taste or poise
and the twang that you're hearing is wholly unsound
its the low art of "hee-haw" boys

the refrains they are playing are ill advised
as they're grinding out yodeling screams
and they wear cowboy suits and a hat up to "yar"
as they stomp out some mangy rountines
just a bunch of straw-heads...hanging out on the spread
singing songs about their quaint country joys
and it sticks in your gullet...your brain, it infests
its the low art of "hee-haw" boys

if you take thirty minutes to see
on some channel you find on your dish
would you last the whole thing ?
i think, not a chance
is something as dismal as this ?
i can't think of much...this gets crappy reviews
it just brings me sorrow...not joy
yeah, the thing that disturbs me is off key and loud
its the low art of "hee-haw" boys

drippy gags are everything that i loathe
i laugh at nothing...it ain't earned
it is such a shame to see...what these yokels do
they take a long hay ride
then giggle at everything...uncool, unrefined
it really is something...how much it annoys
and the thing that i'm fearing is surely the sound
of the low art of "hee-haw" boys