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Song Parodies -> "Won't You Please Adopt Me Angelina Jolie"
Original Song Title:
"Tie A Yellow Ribbon ( 'Round The Ole Oak Tree)"
Original Performer:
Tony Orlando And Dawn
Parody Song Title:
"Won't You Please Adopt Me Angelina Jolie"
Parody Written by:
Tony Wiseguy
The Lyrics
Dear Angelina, I live in an impoverished nation. Yeah its called New Jersey! I may be 41, but I'm really cute and you won't have to change my diaper. Just tell Brad I won't need a Daddy.
I need a home and a girlfriend.
I'm so jealous I'm at my wits end.
You've adopted Maddox and Zahara, what about me?
I'm alone and feeling blue.
My love will set you free.
My love will set you free.
Well, won't you please adopt me Angelina Jolie.
Help me get the hell out of New Jersey.
If you won't adopt me Angelina Jolie.
I'll hijack a plane,
Maybe go insane,
Point that gun at me.
If you won't adopt me Angelina Jolie.
Angelina, drive me crazy.
I'll be the cutest thing you ever did see.
I'm really not in diapers,
I'm a big boy without a Mommy,
Go ahead and tell Brad I won't need a Daddy.
I want to be your main squeeze.
Well won't you please adopt me Angelina Jolie.
Help me get the hell out of New Jersey.
If you won't adopt me Angelina Jolie,
I'll hijack a plane,
Maybe go insane,
Stalk Keira Knightley.
If you won't adopt me Angelina Jolie.
{breast feeding interlude}
Now if there's a congressional hearing.
It just means you didn't pick me.
Don't go Vietnamese, Angelina please adopt me.
Give me a home, mmm, mmm.
(Adopt me Angelina Jolie).
(Adopt me Angelina Jolie).
(Adopt me Angelina Jolie).
(Adopt me Angelina Jolie).
(Adopt me Angelina Jolie).
(Adopt me Angelina Jolie).
I'm so jealous I'm at my wits end.
You've adopted Maddox and Zahara, what about me?
I'm alone and feeling blue.
My love will set you free.
My love will set you free.
Well, won't you please adopt me Angelina Jolie.
Help me get the hell out of New Jersey.
If you won't adopt me Angelina Jolie.
I'll hijack a plane,
Maybe go insane,
Point that gun at me.
If you won't adopt me Angelina Jolie.
Angelina, drive me crazy.
I'll be the cutest thing you ever did see.
I'm really not in diapers,
I'm a big boy without a Mommy,
Go ahead and tell Brad I won't need a Daddy.
I want to be your main squeeze.
Well won't you please adopt me Angelina Jolie.
Help me get the hell out of New Jersey.
If you won't adopt me Angelina Jolie,
I'll hijack a plane,
Maybe go insane,
Stalk Keira Knightley.
If you won't adopt me Angelina Jolie.
{breast feeding interlude}
Now if there's a congressional hearing.
It just means you didn't pick me.
Don't go Vietnamese, Angelina please adopt me.
Give me a home, mmm, mmm.
(Adopt me Angelina Jolie).
(Adopt me Angelina Jolie).
(Adopt me Angelina Jolie).
(Adopt me Angelina Jolie).
(Adopt me Angelina Jolie).
(Adopt me Angelina Jolie).
All my lyrics are copyrighted.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 7 | 9 | 7 |
User Comments
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This is one of those parodies that you just *gotta* read after seeing the title! Got a great many giggles (which I desperately needed this morning). Thanks, 555
Is it incest if you're adopted? ;-) 555
I think what those of us who love Angelina (and we are legion, though for some of us there are other first choices) should do is find a feminine Amirighter who's in love with a presently unavailable masculine celebrity, and introduce said celebrity's squeeze to Brad Pitt, and hope that Brad then takes her and dumps Angelina like he dumped Jennifer Aniston. That would free up Angelina, and all bets are off. Amirighters, what say you? Shall we plan Operation Pitt Stop?
The pacing is off in quite a few places, but this is very funny. 454 is my vote.
Be careful of what you wish for - she might be "Mommie Dearest".
Loved the characterization of NJ.
Great concept, several pacing problems that are easily fixable. 354--fix the pacing and it's all 5's!
again you star with your title subs and ideas Tony - if ONLY I had thought of this! I would have loved to have had a go - pacing was a bit off, and some syllable stresses were unintuitive but it's a 555 on the idea and the funny lines - 555
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