His daddy was a farmer and he lived next door to me
One night the Bears and Patriots were playing on TV
I asked what was his favorite team, he said, "What do you mean?
The Indy Colts will always be the team."

His skater clothes and I-pods always made him look so hip
He signed up for my English class, he thought I was a trip
I had my students tell the class just what they want from life
He turned his classmates' heads when he replied,
"Bro, it's younger horses, faster women, older money, more whiskey!"

His mathematics teacher was no more than 23
She had him captivated, she looked pretty hot to me
She said she had no boyfriend and I said she was a liar
He shook his head and said, "My heart's on fire."

He had a coin collection which I know he really prized
I said he ought to try to get it better organized
He said "You have a point, but man, I never have the time,
But I have to say I like my barber dimes, coz,
It's younger horses, faster women, older money, more whiskey!"

His daddy had a party and he was drinking quite a lot
I told him if he kept it up he would become a sot
He thinks that drinking whiskey really makes him mega-cool
But I believe it makes the boy a fool

There's one thing about the lad that I can't understand at all,
He's really way too young to be drinking alcohol.
I bet the kid has never even heard of Tom T. Hall,
And yet he says to me with lots of gall,
"Man, it's younger horses, faster women, older money, more whiskey!
It's younger horses, faster women, older money, more whiskey!"