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Song Parodies -> "One (Of His Legs Is Dismembered)"

Original Song Title:

"One (Is The Loneliest Number)"

Original Performer:

Three Dog Night

Parody Song Title:

"One (Of His Legs Is Dismembered)"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

One of his legs is dismembered and it's sad but true,
Three you see, he lost just one,
He's the greatest of porkers, he saved ev'ry one.

Once had the saddest experience with fire though,
But was the gladdest experience, he saved the show.
He woke up the entire fam'ly as the fire grew,
He is the greatest of porkers, whoa, I swear it's true.

So you ask if the fire took his leg away,
He is one swell swine, we like him fine, he saved the day.
One of his legs is dismembered,
One of his legs is dismembered,
One of his legs is dismembered, still has more than two,
He still has most of his, he still has most of his,
He still has most of his members and he just makes do.

It just be rude, to this boar, eat him in one day.

He still has most of his,
He still has most of his,
Saved all our family members and he's tasty too.
(Repeat to fade)
Yep, when you have a pig this great, you don't eat him all at once.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Jack Wilson - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Thia is great, Guy! 5's!
Rick D - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
I recognize this. We should start a collection of old jokes set to lyrics. I have about ten, Phil has done it. We could call it "Musical Milton Berle"
Johnny D - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
This parody is the other white meat. 5's
sloatead - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
i'll give you 5's if you pass the bacon
Adagio - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL! Not to laugh at the poor pig , but this was funny!
Paul Robinson - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy! What is this, "Pick on a Pig" Day? First Rick taunts his poor porcine friend in the barn and now you! Well, "PADL" (Pig Anti-Defamation League) and "BLF" (Bacon Liberation Front) are going to hear about this...OH...5-5-5 and pass the pepper please.
Guy - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, don't forget to inform PETA. This would twist their sculls off. LOL. It was actually Rick's song that made me think of that joke anyway.

Rick, I like your idea to do more joke parodies. I have several others out that end with a joke's punch line and expect some more.

Pat, glad you liked this one. It was meant to amuse.

Sloat - I'll have to check the schedule and see when he'll be givin' up some bacon. Such a great pig...

JD and Jack - Thanks!
Jan Unwin - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Guy! I'm also guilty of taking a poke at the pigs with "Snout" And thanks for your vote, by the way.
Rick D - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
When my kids were younger, we did a series of drawings from these titles, all featuring pigs: The Grunt Canyon, Ham Solo, Pork Rock, Down and Snout in Beverly Hills, Swine lake, Jurassic Pork, Hoggie Carmichael, Pig Newton.....etc. I still have the drawings. I treasure those more than any tie from Father's Day.
alvin rhodes - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment that bacon i smell ?.....very funny.....5s
Peregrin - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
That was a porking good parody, Guy
Paul Robinson - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick D - Those drawings sound priceless. Gosh, you guys covered all the bases, didn't you? I was trying to come up with something clever to add and I'm a total blank! OH...just thought of 1, but it would be inappropriate since this was an endeavor with your kids...
To A lesser Extent - March 13, 2004 - Report this comment
MY GOD!!! LOL!!!!
Matthias - March 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Very random... I liked it, but I did still think that this parody was awfully random, and obscure for the topic... A pig who lost his leg to save his family, and they still ate him. That's just evil.
Guy - March 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Matt - I had only been writing parodies for about 7 months when this was written and I agree with you that it lacks fluidity. It was based upon a joke that went something like this:

A salesman was visiting a farm and on the porch was a pet pig that was missing a leg. The salesman asked about the pig. The farmer told a story about how the house caught fire one night and the pig woke everyone up and saved the entire family. The saleman said it was a shame that the pig lost that leg, assuming that the pig lost his leg in the fire saving the fire. The farmer when realizing that the salesman thought that the pig lost the limb in the fire the farmer put the salesman straight saying that the pig didn't lose the limb in the fire. The salesman now puzzled asked the farmer "then exactly how did he lose that leg?". The farmer spit out a hawk of tobacco and simply stated "Well sir, when you got a pig that is that good you just eat him all at once.

The lyrics I will agree didn't quite get the point of the joke across. I experimented a bit with joke parodies and this was one of them. Don't know if I'll ever write another joke parody but if I do it will be done well or in the case of swine well done. Thanks!
littleCupCakes - March 06, 2008 - Report this comment
It is strange Sir Guy, ~Duke o' Sad Parody~ but sometimes that's "way the cookie crumbles" as they say . . .
Guy - March 06, 2008 - Report this comment
M'Lady - A thousand pardons. I have errored in the punchline - It should have been

"Well sir, when you got a pig that is that good you just DON'T eat him all at once".

I'm really having myself a real "sometimers" day here. Thanks for commenting. Some farmers can be quite strange indeed.
Agrimorfee - March 12, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) Guy, you are OTM on your comments on the above from 3/6/08. As "The Aristocrats" proved, the joke is usually only as good as in the way it's told. (someobdy should do a parody about the Aristocrats in! :D)
Invisible Boy - March 13, 2008 - Report this comment
It did make more sense after you told us the joke (and the correct punchline ;-). Telling a joke with a parody can be trichi...Funny idea though.

This reminds me of two friends I had who both knew the same jokes, and had told them to each other so often that, to save time, thay had them numbered. One would shout out "27" and the other would laugh like crazy. Then the second one would yell "51" and my first friend would roar with laughter.
I decided to try and jump-in so I shouted out "39". Neither of them laughed at all. When I asked why they didn't think it was funny, my first friend said, "Oh, it's just the way you told it..."
stuart mcarthur - March 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) from my recollection you're the resident expert at turning gags into parodies, Guy (or does Rick D do it too?) and I was wondering how you got this storyline idea until I realised it was the gag - very amusing write - 555
Jack Wilson - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
See above,from 2004, and I didnt know it was based on something till now!
Kristof Robertson - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4O) This is a whole bunch of odd fun, Guy....but I agree with your own assessment: the parody doesn't quite get across the full humour of the joke in question. Still, nice try! 555
Jeff Reuben - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Not bad, you've had a few I've enjoyed more, but good to go back to an older one.

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