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Song Parodies -> "Why, JQA?"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

The Village People

Parody Song Title:

"Why, JQA?"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Exhibit A as to why no son of a former President should ever receive our vote. Exhibit B, of course, has about 100 of my parodies to his "credit."
Young man, there's no need to feel down, I say
Young man, you stand on hallowed ground, I say
Young man, your dad's the big man in town.
There's no need... to... be... un... happy.

Young man, there's a place you can go, I say
Young man, with your portfolio, you can
travel as a young diplomat
and your coun... try... thanks... you... for that!

But we are asking now: Why, JQA?
Yeah, we are asking now: Why, JQA?
You had everything a President needs to have
but you made a political gaffe.
Yeah, we are asking now: Why, JQA?
Did you make this bargain with Henry Clay?
Jackson had the most votes.
But election you'd steal.
You can't just do whatever you feel.

Hey, John, are you listening to me? I say
hey, John, this is the land of the free. I say
hey, John, as Secretary of State
you put doc... trine... on... Mon... roe's plate.

Helped end the War of 1812, but now
since then, you've run all by yourself, and your
old man had less trouble than you
despite Tom... Al... ex... Aaron too!

And we are asking now: Why, JQA?
Yeah, we are asking now: Why, JQA?
You had everything a President needs to have
but you've lost control of your staff.
Yeah, we are asking now: Why, JQA?
Did you make this bargain with Henry Clay?
The people are real upset
and they're starting to squeal.
They think you've given them such raw deal.

Old man, Jackson has made you lose, and now
you are down and out with the blues. You think
no man cares that you are alive.
You think your... whole... ca... reer was jive.
But now... you've gone back to D.C., and now
old man, you take on slavery, there's a
place there, in U.S. history
and it will... look... on... you kindly!

And we will study this guy, JQA!
Yeah, we will study this guy, JQA!
He had everything a President needs to have
but he couldn't stop Whig riff-raff!

Why, JQA?
And we are still asking: Why, JQA?
Young man, young man, he stood on hallowed ground!
Young man, young man, his dad was big man in town!

Why, JQA?
And we are still asking: Why, JQA?
Hey, John, hey, John, man of big history!
Hey, John, hey, John, try to keep us all free!

Why, JQA?
And we are still asking: Why, JQA?
Old man, old man, first Presidential son!
Too bad that number did not stay at one!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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John Barry - September 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael, your presidential opus continues to be impressive. I can't help but notice that your YMCA parody's right next to mine. Coincidence or kismet?
Ingeborg S. Nordén - September 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Very well-paced, clever allusions to the original--a better history-lesson-in-song than what you'd usually hear (for example) on a children's TV show. Fives all round!
Johnny D - September 25, 2004 - Report this comment
I agree with both John Barry and Ingeborg S. Nordén --- great job, Michael.
alvin rhodes - September 25, 2004 - Report this comment
great parody...great many presidents ya got left ?..5s
Michael Pacohlek - September 26, 2004 - Report this comment
As of this writing, Alvin, only 12 to go: John Adams, Jefferson, Monroe, Tyler, Polk, Fillmore, Buchanan, Andrew Johnson, Benjamin Harrison, Wilson, Reagan and Clinton. The last one is gonna be tough, because there was nothing funny about Clinton.
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael: As the board's resident history professor you must be the right man to run these questions by:
1. Is it true that during 22 of the last 25 American presidental elections the tallest guy has won? (I heard that back 'round 96 or 92 so it might have changed plus-minus 2 now, assuming it was true in the first place).
2. Reagan vs Dukakis was the biggest win, or so I've heard too, and since Dukakis was a short guy, was the difference between them the biggest too?
3. Who's the tallest of Bush and Kerry and if nr 1 here is correct and supported by nr 2 where can I bet my money on him? :-)
4. Does all this mean that famous Basketball Players are the next group after famous actors go into politics when their first career is over.
5. Shaquile O'Neill and Florida... (not a question, just thinking out loud here). :-)
Michael Pacholek - June 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I just discovered Know 1's question from nine months ago. I don't think the taller man has always won. After all, the senior Adams and Jefferson split two matchups, and the shortest President, the five-foot-four Madison, won going away twice. The only shorter candidates to win in the last 100 years have been Theodore Roosevelt in 1904, Truman in '48, Carter in '76 and Bush Jr. in 2004 (also in 2000, if you think he actually won). But from the six-four Lincoln in 1860 and '64 to 1904, in other words from the Civil War to the start of the pre-motion pictures era, several short guys won: TR (1904), Rutherford B. Hayes (1876) and Grant (1868 & '72) were five-eight, McKinley (1896 and 1900) was five-seven, Benjamin Harrison (1888) was five-six.

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