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Song Parodies -> "Don't Lust for Bears"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Touch Me There"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Tubes

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Lust for Bears"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

If you do not know the OS, a low bit-rate MP3 can be found here

(HER) : Zoo, baby!
There's danger to reap !
Have a ball when I grandstand
Make boldly an audience gasp

(HIM) : So, baby
Your thrills to fulfill
Mix in not with mere deer
Or be coaxing some eels
Lustly entice the bears !

(HER) : My body limp over rail
As I tease those ursine
With shove, crowd it squeals
I careened over line...

The smelly bear enclosure
Saw the end of sudden flight
It's a grizzly, dumb endeavour
Hazard-ous increasing plight
In few moments, I'll be rendered howling
By big balls of hair
Don't trust the bears (don't lust for bears, don't)
Don't trust the bears (don't lust for bears, don't)
Don't trust the bears (don't lust for bears, don't)
Don't trust the bears (don't lust for bears, don't)

(BEAR #1) : I'll rip that jacket...
(BEAR #2) : Torn sweater, fell to feet...
(BEAR #3) : Good. Undressed. Lookin' fine...
(ALL BEARS) : Freebie ! Fresh meat !

(HER) : I'm loathe to be a pelt mitt
I understate "Oh no"
Sure don't like the way they're snarling
I want to go...

(BEAR #1) : I have those sweet, sweet lips...
(BEAR #2) : I want the salty waist...
(BEAR #3) : I'd love the finger tips...
(ALL BEARS) : Ensure none goes to waste ! Yum-umm !

(HER) : Some fellas strung together
Lengths of rope into a line
And some chick whose name was Heather
Screamed out "Fark!" (that helped just fine...)
(CROWD) : At the moment you descended, darling
Caught us unaware
Don't trust the bears (don't lust for bears, don't)
Don't trust the bears (don't lust for bears, don't)
Don't trust the bears (don't lust for bears, don't)
Don't trust the bears (don't lust for bears, don't)

If you value your patella
Then the dumbest thing you'll
Ever ever do is lust for bears
(Don't trust the bears) Don't lust for bears
(Don't trust the bears) Please don't
(Don't trust the bears) Oh, don't despair
(Don't trust the bears) (But I'd say a prayer...)
(Don't trust the bears) Severed - bones severed
(Don't trust the bears) It's unfair
(Don't trust the bears) And don't thrust your wares!
(Don't trust the bears)
(Don't trust the bears)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   14
 14
 14
 

User Comments

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Matthias - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
This bearly got fives, just kidding it blows past fives and goes into some number so big I can't even measure
alvin rhodes - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
my favorite of the day...i'm a sucker for bear parodies
Yoidy - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Beary good parody!
Not A Bears Fan - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Yeah, don't lust for bears, especially if they're from Chicago. Go Colts!! (Sorry, no constructive criticism, just wanted to put my Colts support here.)
AFW - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
I only lust for bares..
John Barry - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
"If you value your patella" buckled me with chuckles.
Stuart McArthur - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
LMAO - what a funny idea, M and P - and that OS "did" it for me when I was a young lad - forgotten all about it - 555
Peregrin - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Stu, it used to 'do it' for me too ! Of course, all it actually did was make me more frustrated, but whaddaya gonna do ? heh heh...
mandamoo - February 01, 2007 - Report this comment
I could bearly contain myself....this was hilarious !!!
wandlimb - February 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Awww. Too bad Disneyland got rid of the Country Bear Jamboree...this would be perfect for it.
Tommy Turtle - September 26, 2012 - Report this comment
So, now we know Merry's secret fantasy ...

They were after your patella? I can think of something near the other end of the femur that scans to "patella" and also ends in "-a". xD
Meriadoc - October 02, 2012 - Report this comment
(Actually, this one was Pippin's secret fantasy...)
Tommy Turtle - October 03, 2012 - Report this comment
(Isn't that the best part about collaboration? -- one can always blame one's partner. ;-D )

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