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Song Parodies -> "Gimli Was An Awesome Dwarf"

Original Song Title:

"Papa Was A Rollin' Stone"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Temptations

Parody Song Title:

"Gimli Was An Awesome Dwarf"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

LOTR geeks and R&B freaks unite! Or something.
(bass & drum intro)

I was the shortest kid ever
I couldn't reach a door lever, no, no way--
And what was to blame
But my daddy's size--

The playground kids were always teasin'--
Takin' my lunch when the weather was freezin',
Mama, I'm dependin' on you
To tell me the truth.....

"Papa was an awesome dwarf--
He made a killing by hackin' up Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord.....

"Gimli was an awesome dwarf, my son, yeah,
He made a killing by axin' those Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord....."

(trumpet solo)

Hey, Mama,
Is it true what they say that
Papa never had a shave
In his life?

And Mama,
Some bad talk goin' around town
Sayin' that Papa had big bushy eyebrows
And he rode a trike!
And that ain't right!

Heard some talk about Papa doin' some gemstone tradin',
Talk about chasin' trolls and mineshaft gradin',
Diggin' in dirt and dealin' with some Ring of a Lord--
Mama shook a stubby finger in my face and said, son...

"Papa was an awesome dwarf--
He made a killing by hackin' up Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord.....

"Gimli was an awesome dwarf, my son, yeah
He made a killing by axin' those Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord....."

(really long trumpet solo)

Hey, Mama,
I heard Papa called himself a hacker like Blade--
Tell me, just how does a hacker dwarf earn his pay?
Folks say Papa had one favorite sport:
Dismembering dorks--

Hey, Mama,
Folks say Papa got old and started to shrinkin',
One-third of the height of an Abraham Lincoln--
Mama, I'm depending on you to tell me the truth--
Mama looked up with a beer in her hand and said, son...

"Gimli was no leprechaun!
He was a dwarf, not an elf or a gnome!
Down in the mines
Deep in Moria was his home.....

"Gimli was the son of Gloin, my son, yeah,
He wore a thimble of gold on his groin
Although pint-sized
Gimli had it goin' on....."

"Papa was an awesome dwarf--
He made a killing by hackin' up Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord.....

"Gimli was an awesome dwarf, my son, yeah
He made a killing by axin' those Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord....."
ęBob Gomez 2004

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Bob! 5's
Guy - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
This was a 'wee' bit funny. Nice job Bob.
Johnny D - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Now that's a tall tale. 5's
Rick D - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm really home Fri/ Sun, Bob. Send me a note if you're free.
alvin rhodes - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
HAHAHAHA....this is a masterpiece
pickle - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Something about LOTR - there was a hero in it for everyone, and Gimli is a hero for all short people.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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