Ma Bell and me.
One day I dialed in a one,
And the line went a-beep to me.
Ma Bell and me.
This was right after her,
Demise in 1983.
Her rings were answered, no need for lessons,
To dial through,
But now I tell you that they ignore you,
Your problems too.
Now it's so crazy, they're thieving me now.
With slammin' crews,
Ma Bell and me, oh how I miss you.

Baby Bells sting.
It's a herd thing.
Lets all give these destitutes a Bronx cheer.
Ma Bell was king,
When we heard ring,
With Ma Bell service was sincere.
Baby Bells get your ass in gear!

Ma Bell and me.
If you dialed anyone,
in your town then the call was free.
Ma Bell and me.
There was a time when you got,
One bill from one company.
We knew the answers to any questions,
For payment due.
I want to tell you, here's how I score you,
You're number two.
You are lazy, believe you me now,
So grab a clue,
Ma Bell and me, how we all miss you.

Hear the phone ring,
It's a slam thing,
They just want to substitute themselves here.
Watch your purse string
With this slam king
Cause it's wham after that, you hear?
And their plan's sure to cost you dear.