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Song Parodies -> "John Kerry"

Original Song Title:

"Brown Sugar"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Rolling Stones

Parody Song Title:

"John Kerry"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

(Guitar riff)

Boston Brahmin, he's my candidate
No Mike Dukakis, more like JFK
Vietnam hero's got his own website
Rakin' in the millions, bristlin' for this fight

John Kerry
Poll numbers sure look good, now!
John Kerry
Just like a Yale boy's should, now!
Yeah!

(Guitar riff)

Shrub's lead is blown and Iraq stays hot
Kerry's pleasin' crowds, meanwhile Bush is doin' squat
Michael Moore's film is doin' allright
Hot document'ry, calls it Fahrenheit

John Kerry
Poll numbers sure look good, now!
John Kerry
Just like a Yale boy's should, now!
Yeah!

(Guitar riff, sax solo)

John Kerry
Poll numbers sure look good, now!
John Kerry
Just like a Yale boy's should, now!

Yeah!
I heard Teresa was the ketchup queen
Keeps all her diamonds in soup tureens
I'm no Eli, but I know what I like
You got John Edwards, Bush has got "Dick Bites"

John Kerry
Poll numbers sure look good, now!
John Kerry
Just like a Yale boy's should, now!

I say, yeah, yeah, yeah, WOOOO!
ęBob "No One Died When Clinton Lied" Gomez 2004

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
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 4   0
 0
 1
 
 5   14
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 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Brilliant!
Robert J. Pagliaro - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice work. It amazes me how the right-wing attempts to paint John Kerry as a flip-flopper when it's really Bush who's the flip-flopper. Three more months, three more months. Bob (Member of the Committee to Re-Defeat Bush in 2004)
Matt Drudge - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Dum, da, dum, da, dum, da, da, dum John Kerry! He's unfit for command, now. Dum, da, dum, da, dum, da, da, dum, John Kerry! Shot kids in Vietnam, now. ;-)
Paul Robinson - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job, Mr. Bob. 5's - matt sludge? Who gives a flying sh*t what that horse's a**hole thinks? He's just another wise-ass with a computer hooked up to the Internet tossing around wild, bullsh*t accusations to please the 'ignorati' that pay attention to him. Please excuse the tone, but I just got up a little while ago and I'm just too groggy to deal pleasantly with that type of crap.
John Barry - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm voting with Johnny D!
Bob Gomez, the Aggressive Progressive - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny: thanks, man, and I hope that isn't the Androstenolonogene talking.
RJPags: this is indeed a monumental and historic election, and I find it supremely ironic that both candidates are Yalies and Skull and Boners. I read that Bush's nickname in the S&B is "Temporary," because he actually couldn't think of a good nickname for himself!
Matt: tell that to his boatmates, dude.
Paul: temper, temper! Don't go all Dick Cheney on me!
JB: thanks for the vote of confidence. Peace out, and remember, for a donation to the Kerry campaign they'll send you 50 bumperstickers to hand out to your friends. d;:^)
Paul Robinson - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Bob - Thanks for the temperate advice. But my opinion of Matt "Sludge" or whatever his name is remains the same: an A-hole of the highest degree.
Michael Pacholek - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Bob: I'm not John Kerry, but I really approved this message! Paul: "Ignorati"? Wish I'd thought that up!
Bob Gomez, the "Girlie Man's Girlie Man" - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Right you are, Michael--I'll plan to use it in a song one of these days. Thanks to you and Paul for the comments. d;:^)
Paul Robinson - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael - It just popped into my head when thinking of "Sludge" and the type of folks who seem conditioned to slobber over his every slanderous distortion. Feel free to use it as much and often and the mood strikes. I do kind of like it. Bob, you're very welcome.
Big G - August 14, 2004 - Report this comment
John Kerry confesed to war crimes, and Matt Drudge broke the story that Clinton had an affiar, you lefties have a short memory.
Sinead - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Looks like he's singing another tune now, eh?

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