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Song Parodies -> "I'd Like To Eat A Bovine Thing"

Original Song Title:

"I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing"

Original Performer:

The New Seekers

Parody Song Title:

"I'd Like To Eat A Bovine Thing"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

This parody is written in 'honour' of the recent (and still rumbling) scandal of the beef-that's-really-horsemeat in a lot of UK supermarkets' ready meals and 'processed meat' products. A lot of big corporations have been left with egg on their faces over it - at least, we're assuming it's egg, they might have to check that as well now...;^)

And here's a link to the original song. Feel free to get all nostalgic if you're old enough ;^)

I’d like to think my burger’s from
A minced-up herd of bœufs
But who’s to say it didn’t neigh
Or cluck and lay some œufs?

I’d like to eat a bovine thing (Where’s the beef?)
I’ve looked in all the stores (Who’s the carnal thief?)
But there’s none left, freezers bereft
‘Cos they were selling horse

I thought that beef things came from cows
So I was less than thrilled
To find that they’re extremely rare
- And don’t mean how they’re grilled

Think we should enquire
Just who are the suppliers? (And where? Do do-do do dooo..)

I’d like to eat the bovine thing
That puts shoes on my feet…

La la la la laaaa… (etc.)

We’d like to hear they’ll sort this out
But they just give us bull
Served up as lies, not in their pies
We’ve had a bellyful (We want beef-y meat…)

We’d like to eat some bovine things (Not your ‘udder deceit’…)
But now we’re insecure (scaredy-cats…)
Could be Seabiscuit, we won’t risk it
‘Til we know for sure (Do not scam me please…)

My beef should moo at least just once (With your Beef ‘Canter’-nese…)
Don’t serve ‘mis-steaks’ to me (chew on that…)
My Chilli Carn’ milked in a barn
Not racing at Aintree*

And lets not forget (lock up your pets…)
Haven’t found Shergar** yet… oooohhh…..
Just in case, for non-UK-ers...

* - famous horse racing venue
** - A racehorse that was kidnapped years ago, and has never been found to this day.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Onslaught - March 18, 2013 - Report this comment
A grade "A" parody. 555.
Lifeliver - March 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Another hit Wendy - no beefs about this one (groan)! boeufs/oeufs was neat, though votre lectrice wouldn't approve.
Apt OS choice but one of the worst of the 70s. I put the New Seekers at about the same contemporary level as those awful Barry Evans/Doctor in the House TV comedies. Choice cut of 555s for you - no horsing around.
Susanna Viljanen - March 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Definitely a kosher parody. 555.
Old Man Ribber - March 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Wendy - Some prime ribbing here. Great to see you back with us in the aslyum. ;D
Jonathan - March 18, 2013 - Report this comment
don't they know "so hungry I could eat a horse" is just an expression? 5's
Wendy Christopher - March 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks for all the lovely comments - much appreciated, as always. :^)

@Lifeliver: I'm sure she would, but then she was a little lady with a broad Scottish accent, so she's responsible for me and all my classmates sounding like Jimmy Krankie when we spoke French - "Bornjewer, jay mah-pale Wendy, cor-morn vaaah tuuuuu?" One great way to COMPLETELY dispel the notion that anything said in French sounds sexy!
Rob Arndt - March 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Well done Wendy-555! This parody made me hungry for Heck meat (Nazi cattle that the UK got in 2004). AFAIK, it's not available for sale :(
Phil Alexander - March 19, 2013 - Report this comment
:-) Well done (and I don't mean how it's cooked)
Lifeliver - March 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Wendy - LOL. Did she roll her rrr's? Couldn't have been any worse than my brother: (broad Aussie accent) Lee professyou-er est. Dan's lee Sal dee Clarse. Ill menge oon Pom'. Btw, have you hit your 'Latest Comments' button recently? I put a comment there coupla weeks ago about your Lara Croft parody. Pippin seemed to enjoy it very much.
Patrick - March 20, 2013 - Report this comment
I recall when i was quite young that a new drive in opened up, selling small burgers for 10 cents, rather than the usual 15. My dad said he thought it was horse meat. Sure enough, a news report came down a couple months later. Dad was right.
Giorgio Coniglio - March 21, 2013 - Report this comment
One of the great spoeufs. I have had it as an earworm since it was posted (and I haven't eaten any meat, intentionally, in a decade) .

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