She was just wandering on the face of this earth
When she stopped into Wendy's
To have a bowl of chili
What she found in it wasn't roaches or turds
Not some glass that was broken
Nor somebody's keys

What she found was something more strange I've got to tell you
It was right in there with the meat and the beans, Lord mercy!
She found a finger cut off somebody's hand

There all covered in chili it was obscured
And so hadn't it been missed by an employee?
Finding a finger could put you in a daze

Had there been some conniving?
Well of that we shall see
Of Wendy's food you'll have no more
It turns your stomach
And who knows what else might be in it too, Lord mercy!
She found a finger cut off somebody's hand
Was it all neatly planned?

Questions by the police and more police
Who are all so bewildered themselves
And then I see some frightened
People who are frightened to eat
chili now eating someplace else

She was just a looking for a meal and dessert
Found a part of some person
In a hot bowl of chili
When she told the police they all found it absurd

A dead finger's been soakin'
In Wendy's chili
And it sounds all so really strange
It all can't be true
And was it from some other person she knows, we will see
She found a finger cut off somebody's hand
Was Wendy's being scammed?

Bad news for the people the fat people
Who are always fattening themselves
And now they all are frightened people
who were dining in the Wendy's, now they're skipping dessert

When she found that finger she almost hurled
Then came the police, all the chili was seized
She found a finger cut off somebody's hand
She found a finger cut off somebody's hand
She found a finger cut off somebody's hand...