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Song Parodies -> "Wetware"

Original Song Title:

"Apeman"

Original Performer:

The Kinks

Parody Song Title:

"Wetware"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

I think I'm sophisticated, 'cause I'm living my life, like a good software engineer
I am every day, madly-typing-on-my-keyboard-as-much-software-as-I-can-here
I think I'm smarter, than the silicon sitting, in the motherboard inside there
But compared to the BIOS and the chips and the keys,
I am just wet-ware

I'm think I'm so highly-rated and I'm so humanized
'Cause I got flesh, blood-bone-teeth-and-hair
But with the digitalization and the Pentiumization
And the microwaving everywhere

I don't feel human at all no more
I don't want to be some droid's organic whore
I want to throw my Dell the hell out the door
And stop being wet-ware

I'm just wet-ware, I'm just wet wet-ware,
I'm just wet-ware
I'm just Matrix-ware, I'm wet wet-ware,
I'm just wet-ware

'Cause compared to the chip in-side that ma-chine
Compared to the i-cons on that screen
Compared to the bugs that make programmers scream
I am just wet-ware

(spoken: ) Technology's evolution has created the Internet, E-mail, and the computer virus - but give me half a chance, and I'd be throwin' out my laptop and writin' on papyrus!

'Cause the only time that I feel at ease
Is when I'm far away from the mouse and the keys
Oh what a life of luxury
To stop being wet-ware

I'm just wet-ware, I'm just wet wet-ware,
I'm just wet-ware
I'm just Matrix-ware, I'm just Windows-ware,
I'm just wet-ware

I look at my TV, but can't see the screen
I must need a Higher-Definition machine
I want, to wake up, from this Matrixy dream
And stop being wet-ware

Come and love me, be my wet-ware girl
And we'll try to be happy in our wet-ware world

I'm just wet-ware, I'm just wet wet-ware,
I'm just wet-ware
I'm just Matrix-ware, I'm just Linux-ware,
I'm just wet-ware

I'll be your laptop, you'll press my key,
I'll log-in you, and you'll log-in me,
And we'll ping every port that the two of us can see
'Cause we're both wet-ware

I'm just wet-ware, I'm just wet wet-ware,
I'm just wet-ware
I'm just Matrix-ware, I'm just Bill-Gates-ware,
I'm just wet-ware

I don't feel human at all no more
I don't want to be some droid's organic whore
I want to throw my Dell the hell out the door
And stop being wet-ware

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Know 1 can hear you dream - November 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Error 404.47, original not known (yet). Loved it lyricswise though. :-)
Johnny D - November 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks K1chyd - I was thinking that I perhaps should have included a preface explaining the definition of "Wetware":
WETWARE
Human beings (programmers, operators, administrators) attached to a computer system, as opposed to the system's hardware or software.
Steven Cavanagh - November 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Beautiful, JD. This computer here thinks so, anyway :-)
Rick D - November 07, 2003 - Report this comment
I thought wetware was what was in Sports Illustrated.
Claude Prez - November 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Good idea and well done; the definition helped
Johnny D - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks Steven, Rick, and Claude. I will make an exception for Amiright - being "wetware" on ChuckyG's site is a gas!
Wild Man - November 09, 2003 - Report this comment
LOL! , nice work.

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