I met her in a club down in Washington
Where the pundits drink until they're just about in a coma
c-o-m-a coma
She walked up to me and she started to rant
I asked her her name and in a deep blonde voice she said Coulter
c-o-u-l Coulter C-c-c-c-coulter

Now I'm not some Right-Wing radical guy
So when she spewed her bile she nearly broke my mind
Oh Ms. Coulter cuckoo cuckoo Coulter
It might sound dumb but I can't understand
How she's so hot as a woman and so cold as a man
Oh Ms. Coulter see how you are Coulter cold cold cold cold Coulter

Well she bitched and moaned and whined all night
Blaming the Left for everything in sight
Coulter picked me up and parked me on her knee
And said liberal boy won't you swing Right with me
Well I'm not the world's most promiscuous guy
But when I checked out her frame, I almost fell for Ms. Coulter
c-o-u-l Coulter Cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-coulter

I pushed Ann away
I felt for the door
I crawled on the floor
I grabbed a "Nation" magazine
Then I snarled at her and she at me

Well that's about all I wanted to say
And I think it's best if we just stay away from Ms. Coulter
c-o-u-l Coulter
Girls hard as boys with hate flags unfurled
It's a messed-up scene but don't take my word just check out Coulter
c-o-u-l Coulter

Well I've been around the block for sure
And I've never ever kissed a viper before
Coulter laughed and took my tremblin' hand
Said Lefty boy gonna make you a Bush man

Well I'm not the world's most sensible guy
But I know who I like and it ain't the type
Who thinks like Coulter
c-o-u-l Coulter cuckoo cuckoo Coulter
Coulter see how you are Coulter cold cold cold cold Coulter
Coulter c-o-u-l Coulter cuckoo cuckoo Coulter