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Song Parodies -> "Celluloid Zeros"

Original Song Title:

"Celluloid Heroes"

Original Performer:

The Kinks

Parody Song Title:

"Celluloid Zeros"

Parody Written by:

Alvin Rhodes

The Lyrics

everybody's a schemer...and everybody's been scarred
you dream of being in movies
your dreams are shattered into shards
you're discarded in this city
you'll end up homeless and on the street
and some who failed in hollywood took it hard
and blew their brains out in defeat

you start out great with gusto
as the cameras and fans bombard
your body's sleek and agile...and you're held in high regard
but they'll spurn you in your fifties
and you'll be tossed right off your throne
you went and took your whack at stardom
but now you spend every night alone

you can see has-been stars
as they sleep on hollywood boulevard
too old to recognize...as someone that you've ever heard of
finding no work...they suffer and end up in pain
few have succeeded and most will have suffered in vain

ruined on cheap vino...they drink in seedy dives
and they mumble their distresses...as they sadly stagger by
black voids, they're in, very morosely
and they just may curl up and die
and their eyes seem to scream "save us "
but still they want to end their lives

you will see them covered with garbage
there's plenty here per square mile
and they act all sick and goony...and you will never see them smile
the one-time star is now a derelict...they've sure got it rough
and they're wondering where to find a meal
perhaps it may just be some dumpster stuff

you can see has-been stars
as they sleep on hollywood boulevard
too old to recognize...as someone that you've ever heard of
finding no work...they suffer and end up in pain
few have succeeded and most will have suffered in vain

everybody's a schemer...and everybody's been scarred
you dream of being in show-biz
your dreams are shattered into shards
there's few who are successful...and held in high regard
but there have been a million failures
cause in hollywood, life is hard

and they wish their lives would have not stopped
hollywood ?...where'd it go ?
a fantasy world where only a few are deemed heroes
but these celluloid zeros always wind up in pain
when celluloid zero's fame has finally died

you can see has-been stars
as they sleep on hollywood boulevard
too old to recognize...as someone that you've ever heard of
finding no work...they suffer and end up in pain
few have succeeded and most will have suffered in vain

but celluloid zeros always wind up in pain
when celluloid zero's fame has finally died

and they wish their lives would have not stopped
hollywood ?...where'd it go ?
a fantasy world where only a few are deemed heroes
but these celluloid zeros always wind up in pain
when celluloid zero's fame has finally died

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   2
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User Comments

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John Barry - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Yet many zeroes who should live in dumpsters have mega-hits. Good job, Alvin.
Kristof Robertson - March 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Impressive piece of work on a fairly obscure Kinks track...fine job, Al! 555
alvin rhodes - March 18, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks john and kristof

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