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Song Parodies -> "That Hairy Old Woman"

Original Song Title:

"American Woman"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Guess Who

Parody Song Title:

"That Hairy Old Woman"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Hygiene takes on a larger significance in certain personal encounters...
Oh, No, no, no, no
Oh, No, no, no, no
Oh, No, no no...

A hairy old woman had me bound and gagged
That hairy old woman; she was an ugly hag
Ohh, that hairy old woman had me dressed in drag
Ummm, The hair on that woman; like a matted shag

I say H
I say A
I say I
I say R
I say Y
Oh, O
Well, L
...D
eeeewww...

That hairy old woman made me wear a thong
Uhh, the ugly old bitch played 'kickball' with my dong
Ohhh, The torment continues, it goes on and on...

(Instrumental)

UUHHHH!!

A hairy old woman had her way with me
That hairy old woman wouldn't set me free
When I was knockin' on her front door
I didn't know what she had in store
Then, suddenly I was bound and gagged
At the mercy of that old hag
Old woman; had her way with me
That hairy old woman tortured me with glee-ee-ee

That hairy old woman put me in restraints
The stuff she did to me; thought that I would faint
She made me sniff her old underpants
Then assume a submissive stance
Bound my balls with rubber bands
Made me squat on hills of ants
That woman liked abusing me
That hairy old woman; she just went "hee-hee"

("Hee-Hee")

That hairy old woman, said, "On your knees"
And then she said to me: "Stick your tongue out, please"
She spread her legs and then said, "In there"
Then pushed my face into all that hair
"That's one place I never clean"
It smelled like a full latrine
Was so gross between her thighs
Smelled like something in there died
That woman shoved my face in there
That nasty old woman had me in despair

eeeww, Gotta get away
Gotta get away, it's so damn gross
A gross beaver, oh man,
Her gross beaver, whoa man,
..Had flies
..Oh my
..No lie
..Had flies

Gawd, that's so obscene
All I say is "eeeewww"
Don't you ever wash between your thighs?
Have you ever tried a douche?
I think I'm gonna heave
Yes, chunks I'm gonna blow
Yes, I'm about to heave
My lunch I'm gonna blow - hag
I' m gonna heave
Oh, my, you nasty old woman
Oh, my, you nasty old woman...
(Fade)

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   8
 7
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
I thought I was
The lewdest of 'em all
But I've just handed my gross-out crown to Pau-au-aul !!
Rick D - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
You know I'm not going to pass up an opportunity like this for a plug http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/guesswho4.shtml
Rain Man - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
That is typical of you Rick D. Don't give Paul the 5's he deserves(you didn't vote at all). But plug your own song instead. Your ego knows no bounds, does it?By the way Mr. Robinson, three 5's from me. Great job, and so true sometimes.
sunshine woman - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
gee i never knew amirght had policemen who get mad at you if you wait to post your vote until much later than your comment??
Adagio - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Ewwww....extremely gross...lol 5's (You in a foul mood?)
Rick D - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
I see how you got your name, Rain Man. Some of us have jobs we have to get to and don't have time for everything at first glance in the morning. So we check out what OUR FRIENDS ON THE SITE have posted for the day and leave a few notes. Later on in our copious free time, we review, vote and shmooze. I don't know why I'm explaining this to you, Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune is on, so I know you're busy. I'll keep an eye out for your "one's".
alvin rhodes - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
how dare you write a song about my ex-wife......5s
Paul Robinson - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
JD - That might just be the ultimate compliment. Thank you! Rick, I'm at a Kinko's in the Valley right now, paying through the schnozzola to check out the action on this. I'll look at your version next time I check back at my place (later tonight or sometime tomorrow) when I'm not playing "Beat The Clock". Thanks for looking in. Rain Man - Thank you! I'll stay out of the by-play here, but Rick IS a friend and you probably didn't know that. Sunshine - thanks for looking in. Adagio, ME, in a FOWL mood, oh wait, that was the other FOUL...No, not really - gross inspiration will strike without notice sometimes and I've got to follow the 'Muse'. Now maybe the MUSE was in a foul mood, but I didn't ask. I just starting writing. Rick - You mean I mean those shows today? Sh*t. Alvin, THAT was YOUR EX? Hey, sorry man...Thanks! While I'm splitting time between my place and house-sitting for a friend I've run into the "Treasure Trove" of his CD collection, which has a lot of stuff that was on the radio so much at the time I never bothered to consider buying any of it. The only problem is he has no PC so I have to make manual notes (actually I wrote this entire thing by hand, but whatever else I do will be notes taken home, too much work to do it this way. Can't believe I used to write them all by hand a few months ago...).
The Thought Police - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
That was a sick, gross,and extremely disturbing parody - yet, I cannot look away....(hclk--huclk ccucllk ---aaaacch! Whew! those three fives tasted better going down....) (Now let me outta here before her two uglier,hairier,and smellier stepsisters show up...oh no! TOO LATE !
Paul Robinson - June 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Thought Police - Here's to your speedy recovery. Thanks!
Rod Worden - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Crack-up, Paul..! Don't get to this site every day, so I missed this. Hope you 'see your way clear' to forgive me. 5s!
Paul Robinson - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Rod W - Absolutely! I've been among the missing here lately quite a bit myself lately - doing a bit of house-sitting for a friend who does not have a PC yet. I keep missing the Library closing time and don't like to pay to do the 'Kinko's' too much. Thanks~
Joelle - September 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Fives from me!
Paul Robinson - September 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Joelle!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 28, 2004 - Report this comment
(Gross) I started off thinking: 'Yee-uck!' This slowly evolved into: 'How the hell did Chucky let that one through'... I can remember my jaw hitting the floor in disgust, every orifice of my body excreting its respective fluid and everything after that is a bit of a blur. 5s!
Johnny D - September 28, 2004 - Report this comment
(Gross) See above...This parody was gross and sick at the time of the first reading...but...this parody's even grosser and sicker on the second reading!
Agrimorfee - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
(Gross) NAS-TEE!
Jeff Reuben - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
That's pretty disgusting
Paul Robinson - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Jake/Luke - happy to revolt you. JD - Yes, it affects me the same way even though I wrote it. I did send you my recording of this, didn't I? Agrimorfee - Yes, it was. Jeff Reuben - 100% agree with you.
Jeff Reuben - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Of course, I meant that in a good way Paul =)
Paul Robinson - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, of course, Jeff...
Claude Prez - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow. Now THAT is one gross parody. And funny, too. Great job.
Paul Robinson - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Claude - glad you liked it.
AMIRIGHT GROSSEST PARODY CONTEST - GOLD MEDAL - October 03, 2004 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3821.0;id=1770;image
Red Ant - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
I remember reading this before. I'm not sure why I didn't comment or vote then, but that shituation has been rectalfried now. I think Luke has already summed up my feelings the best, and yeah, I don't think this one would make it through these days, lol. It started out easy enough, but after the "("Hee-Hee")" part I almost puked up the 20 bucks worth of baby back ribs that I ate not an hour ago. Yep, this is thoroughly revolting, and that's a compliment. 5s.
Paul Robinson - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Red - yeah, I consider this one a "Top-Grosser" and the turd on the top of the manure pile ~ ~ ~

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