Bloggin', got my links typed in
Keep bloggin', like a real newsman
My weblog more or less won't lie
Just keeps bloggin' on

Arrow's on 'update,' I'm publishing posts on the webzine
Italics, caps lock and bold are the fonts there on my screen
Your typical website dispensing your typical newsfeed
Go read up and see what is happening

"Dallas - Hottest Yachting Scene?"
"Tom Cruise lives in a submarine!"
"Pluto's spinning off it seems
To crash into the sea, oh no!"

Most of the stuff that you see on the news never happened
Most of the time the government covers the truth
You want the facts? Better come down to my weblog
The only trustworthy source's an internet slueth

Bloggin', like the Drudge Report
Once told me a story of import
One time Dean committed a crime
Stole a kid's Baby Ruth!

Sometimes it rains syrup on Mozambique
Other times statues' eyeballs bleed
Lately it occurs to me
What a slow news day it's been

"What in the world ever became of Elaine?
She was on Seinfeld, that show is really inane
D'you know that George is master of his domain?
I heard that a new season's due in May!"

Bloggin', 'bout the quid pro qou
Been linkin' up to Telemundo
Sources - Do I speak Spanish? No,
I think I get the point

Sittin' and starin' at sixteen-hundred pixels
Got a tip that the eskimos are just a myth
I really would like to reveal my sources
But I will pull a Novak; get mad and then plead the fifth

Busted, for making up things
Set up by the boogeyman
Charged with three counts of light treason
The man won't let me be!

You're sick of the cable news, you want the real deal
You can't believe everything you hear on TV
I guess they can't take your laptop for lying
At least that is what I thought, well, I guess they showed me

Sometimes odd lights appear under the sea!
Other times ghosts kidnap babies
Lately it occurs to me
What a slow news day it's been

Bloggin', work from my home
No, no, baby, I don't make no dough
I'm poor, and I don't eat no more
But just keep bloggin' on