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Song Parodies -> "Simon Cowell"

Original Song Title:

"Lyin' Eyes"

Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Simon Cowell"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

Simon: the One's Guy of American Idol.
(Guitar intro)

Shitty girls seem to find out early:
"That was ghaaastly, painful, even trite..."
They stand up there, belting out and blurting
And Randy says, "Yo, dawg, that was aiiight..."

Eight at night, a big old house gets boring
Hey, there must be something decent on TV
That "Star Search" and "Survivor" I'm ignoring--
An hour of crappy singing, that's for me!

So I occupy the couch on Tuesday evening
Got suckered in again by all the ads
Here comes a guy whose singing sounds like bleating
Gee, and Paula Abdul claims it wasn't bad!!!

You can't hide from Simon Cowell!
That's no smile, it's a thin-lipped scowl!
Walk right out, throw in the towel--
There ain't no way to hide from Simon Cowell!

(Guitar riff)

There's a hundred million watchers out there waiting
For some twenty-something dreams and a few laughs
We tune in every week anticipating
Just to see who stays and who will get the shaft!

He tells 'em, "That was Oh-my-God, appalling...
Can't think of anything I've hated more...
It was absolutely horrendous..." They start bawling--
And I'm howling, choking, rolling on the floor!

You can't hide from Simon Cowell!
That's no smile, it's a thin-lipped scowl!
Walk right out, throw in the towel!
There ain't no way to hide from Simon Cowell!

Though this show reminds me of that "Gong" one,
They've got me hooked, I'm one pathetic guy!
Another night, it's gonna be a wrong one--
I told my friends I quit, but that's a lie...

And my, oh, my, they sure have shown us some lame things,
They set it up so well, so carefully--
Ain't it funny how this new year's all the same things--
How I can keep on watching baffles me!

You can't hide from Simon Cowell!
That's no smile, it's a thin-lipped scowl!
Walk right out, throw in the towel!
There ain't no way to hide from Simon Cowell!
Honey, you can't hide from Simon Cowell!

(Guitar riff and out)
ęBob Gomez 2004

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - January 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Ladies and Gentlemen, your new Amiright Idol - BOB GOMEZ !
Royce Miller - January 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Bob, very funny and well done
Guy - January 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Bob - Another gem. Fine work as usual. You got my 5s.
Johnny D - January 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Oops, I forgot to mention, Bob, that you got three 5's from me, too - very well-deserved, for this superb parody.
Jan Unwin - January 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Bob, Proceed to the second round. Fives!!
David Chrenko - January 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Bob, like a deadbeat tenant, you're just an Idol rumor. 5-5-5
Jonathan C. - January 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Welcome to Hollywood, Bob! Three 5s from me too.
Paul Robinson - January 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Bob, excellent job, 5-5-5...I've never watched the show but I've heard about Simon Cowell and his "resident nasty curmudgeon" role which he apparently embraces with relish ad enthusiasm. Dirty job but it sounds like someone must do it. I'm one of those weird folks who owns a T.V. (2 actually) but gave up watching it almost 100%about a year ago. I did still watch "C.S.I." (Las Vegas version only) until the last few episodes of last season but I gave that up, too, finally. The MTV late-night videos went when I dropped cable in August. So I'm way out of the current cultural loop. My brain heals in the interim. When I'm ready I'll watch again but I ain't anywhere near ready yet.
Bob Gomez - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, AmiRighters, for the kind words. I swear last Tuesday's show was one of the funniest hours I've ever seen on network TV. Simon described the majority of contestants as "deluded," and I had to agree with him most of the time. The pure absurdity of people who have very little singing talent and still claim "I am here because I am the next American Idol" I find bizarre, hilarious, and approaching performance art. No actor or singer could TRY to sing as bad as some of these people. Anyway, it's about the only TV I have time for, so I allow myself the guilty pleasure. d;:^)
Michael Pacholek - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Simon wouldn't like this, but what does he know?
Claude Prez - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment
That was absolutely horrific. Really.
Aaerni - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Yo what up dog! That was all 5's for me. You're the new Amiright Idle!
WereSimoness - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Good job!

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