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Song Parodies -> "Nuke Kid Around"

Original Song Title:

"New Kid In Town"

Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Nuke Kid Around"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

It's just a matter of time when Israel has had enough of the rhetoric coming out of Iran as they grow ever closer to producing a deliverable nuclear weapon. North Korea is also trying to flex a nuclear muscle. Are these countries trying to use their nuclear ability to further their own interests through intimidation or are the whackos running those countries nuts enough to detonate any nukes in an act of war? Who knows? U.S. Israeli relations have become strained since the current administration has assumed power in the United States. Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad denies that the Jewish holocaust ever occurred and uses that as his bases to claim that Israel has no legitimacy as a sovereign nation and vows to wipe them off the map. As I write this prelude to my parody Ahmadinejad is addressing the United Nations with a speech that is full of anti western rhetoric. He is stating that the U.S. needs to re-evaluate its outlook on Iran and that their nuclear ambitions are only for peaceful purposes. Yeah and toss another coin into the wishing well while we're at it. Delegations one by one are walking out on his speech in protest. So this author is not the only one who sees these guys as the whackos that they are.

There is no doubt in my military mind that with or without the U.S. the Israelis will send 20 nukes for every one that is fired at them back at their aggressors. They may even do a pre-emptive strike especially as the current U.S. administration turns its back on Israel. Let’s hope it never gets to this and that the U.S. administration will not turn its back on an ally that we have had since May 14, 1948.

This parody is just my take on the balance of nuclear power in the world today. Are we doomed?


They mock with deceit; these clowns are mass killers,
Nuke detonations, even though they've botched a few.
Weasels compete they brawl, scheme and snow you,
Evened up old trends beat you 'til you're black and blue.

Bomb free not likely, don’t nuke kid around,
Any money bluffs you? They won't set one down.

They spook with demise, so caustic wherein they prey,
Stopless fanatics, how do we defend?
But it's just their style, threat slingin' a bomb your way,
It's those reckless hordes that condescend.

Ornery innately, they're nukin' us down,
Holocaust snub Jews... They claim it's unfou-ou-oud.

By doing nothing, it just makes them bolder,
It's now fight or flight, start watching our borders,
No borders, here's new world order.

They talk of delete, the Jews they're not kind to,
They just wanna splatter nukes underground.
Can't pocket away, and soon rockets will find you,
They'll forever be threat to ‘til somebody's nukes 'em back down.

Don't act innately, don't with nukes kid around,
Anybody trust Kim? No way, he won't defer,
And he's gaining ground, oh my, my...
Of all nukes rid this clown,
He's another nuke kid unsound.

Oo-hoo, Ain't nobody stopping as they nuke kid around,
Oo-hoo, Ain't nobody mopping up the nuke kids unbound.
As they nuke kid around, anybody fear it?
When a nuke hits the ground, too late when you hear it.
If a nuke hits your town,
Will you nuke it outbound?
As they nuke kid around, ain't nobody stopping,
As they nuke kid around, better start the mopping.
As they nuke kid around,
Shut the nuke kids on down...

(Repeat & fade)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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metaphorsbwithu - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Well done, Guy. Watching these UN speeches is like seeing a performance of Marat-Sade (which I have twice). To think some people still think you can reason with madmen. Scary stuff! 555 for you, Guy.
alvin - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
so scary it left me feeling ill-at-ease...guess you could say i had "atomic ache"
Timmy1000 - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Very dire parody about the wackos in the world - kind of strange listening to the peaceful, wistful Eagles' song while reading this. Well done - too bad our leaders don't read the warnings here.
Tommy Turtle - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Nuke-idding. A critical mass of of wit that radiates brilliance. Hope these parties can patch up their fall(-ing)out. Fission' around for a vote here, and coming up with an ef-fusion of Fives.

btw, no obligation, but for another take on the dangers of a certain country having nukes, there's
Double your money back if not satisfied. Nice job, Guy.
Fiddlegirl - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Sobering... and well done.
adagio - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Guy, it is scary wih all these people,usually madmen, running around with nukes. Have you ever heard Michelle Malkin? She's from here, and makes perfect sense, having grown up in the Middle East and spent half the time fleeing for her life. In one speach, she said first comes Saturday, then Sunday, meaning the Israelis first (they pray on Saturday, then us (who pray on Sunday) will be hit by terrorists. Perhaps Israel is gearing up for that? But they have a LOT of nukes!!! That in itself is scary. 5's
John Barry - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Like Kadafi, Mahmoud is a goat-f**cking wack job. The Israelis may have no choice but to hit Iran's facilities preemptively. And yes, the human race is doomed.
blackjack21 - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks for the reality check Guy. This is serious stuff and a seriously good "scare-ody" on the subject.
Guy - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks to all who read and commented and supported my view on this dark subject. I hope and pray that this parody remains forever a work of fiction.
Michael Pacholek - September 25, 2009 - Report this comment
The reality check came when the American people elected a President and a Vice President who can properly pronounce the word "nuclear." To his credit, McCain can. Palin... Just click on the red phone, and you'll thank God we have a smart President once again: (Nope, I didn't make this one. Click on the light switch, too.)
Jimmy Carter @ Michael Pacholek - September 25, 2009 - Report this comment
I couldn't pronounce "nuclear" correctly, either. This site wasn't around then, but I assume you considered me incompetent back then, correct?
Guy - September 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Michael - Who the hell cares how someone says nu-cleer - you just don't get it do you? You would be sitting in a pile of nuclear rubble and still bidching about Bush and the Republicans as your hair falls out from radiation sickness. Some people you have to drop a house on... With you a nuke would not make you rethink not one thing. Say hello to Peter Pan for me will ya? I would not be surprised if you are a 911 truther.To some conspiracy is theory, with you it's a hobby.
Old Man Ribber - September 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Iran and North Korea - "Nuke Kids On The Block" ;D

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