Song Parodies -> The Dress That I Love
| Original Song Title: | "The Best of My Love" |
| Original Performer: | The Eagles |
| Parody Song Title: | "The Dress That I Love" |
| Parody Written by: | Michael Pacholek |
Presenting the 6th annual Bjork Awards for the worst in Oscar fashion. Not a lot of horrid sights this year, so this won't be a 14-verse epic "The Wreck of the Oscar Red Carpet." Oh well, there's always next year.
Miss Kelly Preston
Travolta's wife dressed in
flourescent orange, oy vey.
Dame Helen Mirren
she was appearin'
in red gown and white sleeves today.
That salmon pink dress
it was a terrible mess
Cameron Diaz could not rise above.
I know she was trying
to give me the dress that I love.
Beautiful faces
in Hollywood places
but sometimes they fall apart.
Flowers on shoulder
in bright red, they hold her.
Anne Hathaway did not "Get Smart."
There's trophies to win
but you must cover your skin
in that won't make us give you shove.
And here on this show
you don't wear the dress that I love.
Oh, whoa, whoa, sweet darlin'
(you don't wear dress that I love)
you don't wear dress that I love.
Oh, whoa, whoa, sweet darlin'
(you don't wear dress that I love)
you don't wear dress that I love.
Calista Flockhart
Harrison Ford's got you.
But if you have been
a symbol of too thin
then don't you wear that light blue.
But Oscar night
I see Tilda Swinton
with black thing and hair bright red that way.
You see it your way.
I see it mine:
You looked like that Aiken kid Clay.
Hilary Swank, I ripped twice before.
I guess she's now had enough.
'Cause here on the show
she's wearing the dress that I love.
Oh, whoa, whoa, sweet darlin'
you wear the dress that I love.
Oh, whoa, whoa, sweet darlin'
you wear the dress that I love.
Oh, whoa, whoa, sweet darlin'
you wear the dress that I love.
(repeat 'til fade)
Travolta's wife dressed in
flourescent orange, oy vey.
Dame Helen Mirren
she was appearin'
in red gown and white sleeves today.
That salmon pink dress
it was a terrible mess
Cameron Diaz could not rise above.
I know she was trying
to give me the dress that I love.
Beautiful faces
in Hollywood places
but sometimes they fall apart.
Flowers on shoulder
in bright red, they hold her.
Anne Hathaway did not "Get Smart."
There's trophies to win
but you must cover your skin
in that won't make us give you shove.
And here on this show
you don't wear the dress that I love.
Oh, whoa, whoa, sweet darlin'
(you don't wear dress that I love)
you don't wear dress that I love.
Oh, whoa, whoa, sweet darlin'
(you don't wear dress that I love)
you don't wear dress that I love.
Calista Flockhart
Harrison Ford's got you.
But if you have been
a symbol of too thin
then don't you wear that light blue.
But Oscar night
I see Tilda Swinton
with black thing and hair bright red that way.
You see it your way.
I see it mine:
You looked like that Aiken kid Clay.
Hilary Swank, I ripped twice before.
I guess she's now had enough.
'Cause here on the show
she's wearing the dress that I love.
Oh, whoa, whoa, sweet darlin'
you wear the dress that I love.
Oh, whoa, whoa, sweet darlin'
you wear the dress that I love.
Oh, whoa, whoa, sweet darlin'
you wear the dress that I love.
(repeat 'til fade)
And, to be fair... Swank, who I've ripped twice in these songs and appeared to be ready to "retire the cup," looked fine in black Versace. Faye Dunaway at 69 melted away the years. Jennifer Garner: Good gown, great necklace, bad hair. Kristin Chenoweth? Little girl brought big glamor. Jessica Alba looked luminous -- or, since the word is often used to describe pregnant women, "radiant." Cate Blanchett looked good, too, although I note that she is now on Baby 3, having twice played Elizabeth I, "The Virgin Queen." Daniel Day-Lewis' wife wasn't as lucky as Cate and Jessica: Not a good maternity gown. Ellen Page just turned 21. Miley Cyrus just turned 15. They both looked 17. And how about Regis Philbin calling Javier Bardem "Xavier"? Maybe he confused the Best Supporting Actor winner from Spain with the old-time Spanish bandleader Xavier Cugat. Really took the heat off Blanchett, who, a couple of seconds later, was seen getting up, probably due to a pregnancy-induced bathroom need.
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funny concept....nice job
I didn't see Catherine Zete-Jones & Dear Michael, this year !??! Now there's a maid who can 'wear a dress'!!
The bad news: I didn't see Catherine, either. The good news: I didn't see Gordon Gekko, either! I'll never forget last year's Oscars, when they followed Clint Eastwood and his date, and Douglas looked older than Eastwood -- who's 13 years older. Then again, I told Eastwood I don't deserve to have to look at the woman I love on Douglas' arm, and Clint said, "Deserve's got nothin' to do with it!"
Good stuff... "There Will Be Blood" should've won Best Picture though...
This was great!
Pach, this one has you dressed for success.
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This is view # 161
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