Song Parodies -> Funpark Al-Qaeda
| Original Song Title: | "Hotel California" |
| Original Performer: | The Eagles |
| Parody Song Title: | "Funpark Al-Qaeda" |
| Parody Written by: | Kristof Robertson |
Have you ever wondered what terrorist cells get up to when they're not spreading fear and destruction across the world? Note: For this to pace property, you need to pronounce Al Qaeda as "al ky-EE-dah"
On a bombed desert highway
Ten miles from Baghdad
Worn-out rollercoasters
Rise up out of the sand
A mirage in the distance?
Some crazy trick of the light?
A billboard picture of a leering man
Gave me a bit of a fright
"We're Iraq's fav'rite day out
Open since '91
So come on in, enjoy yourself
Coz fundamentalist begins with "fun"!
Are you tired of praying?
Bored with Quranic tracts?
Have a break for 19.99
And that's including tax..."
Welcome to the Funpark Al-Qaeda!
It's a magic place (such a magic place)
Built with Allah's grace
There's plenty to do at the Funpark Al-Qaeda
Bring the fam'ly here (any time of year)
But don't ask for beer...
Come ride the "Taliban Twister"
You're guaranteed to upchuck
And get a photo with Mohammed Mouse
And Don al-Duq
Infidel Dogs with mustard
(Pork-free, of course...)
Our best selling snack food
With no trace of horse!
In the Sunni Arena
Hand removals LIVE!
Oh yeah...the bumper cars are rigged to blow
So, careful how you drive...
So many choices will keep you
Enthralled all day
And for those steamy Middle Eastern nights....
Jihad Cabaret!!
Welcome to the Funpark Al-Qaeda!
For the guys, it's ace (really freakin' ace)
Ladies; hide your face...
No fatwa on thrills at the Funpark Al-Qaeda
Just as long as you (just as long as you)
Ain't a Kurd or Jew
It was all appealing;
Everybody was nice
Except for...that one bloke who rode the Ghost Train
Strapped to a "device"
If you can stand the danger,
The bad food and the heat
Bring the kids and submissive wife
Coz you're in for quite a treat!
Last ride on the coaster
They're closing at half past four
Every single person working here
Has to get back to the war....
I waved to the night man;
He was...familiar to me
Then I caught a glimpse of his name badge:
It said "Osama B"....
[*So THAT'S where he's been!*]
Ten miles from Baghdad
Worn-out rollercoasters
Rise up out of the sand
A mirage in the distance?
Some crazy trick of the light?
A billboard picture of a leering man
Gave me a bit of a fright
"We're Iraq's fav'rite day out
Open since '91
So come on in, enjoy yourself
Coz fundamentalist begins with "fun"!
Are you tired of praying?
Bored with Quranic tracts?
Have a break for 19.99
And that's including tax..."
Welcome to the Funpark Al-Qaeda!
It's a magic place (such a magic place)
Built with Allah's grace
There's plenty to do at the Funpark Al-Qaeda
Bring the fam'ly here (any time of year)
But don't ask for beer...
Come ride the "Taliban Twister"
You're guaranteed to upchuck
And get a photo with Mohammed Mouse
And Don al-Duq
Infidel Dogs with mustard
(Pork-free, of course...)
Our best selling snack food
With no trace of horse!
In the Sunni Arena
Hand removals LIVE!
Oh yeah...the bumper cars are rigged to blow
So, careful how you drive...
So many choices will keep you
Enthralled all day
And for those steamy Middle Eastern nights....
Jihad Cabaret!!
Welcome to the Funpark Al-Qaeda!
For the guys, it's ace (really freakin' ace)
Ladies; hide your face...
No fatwa on thrills at the Funpark Al-Qaeda
Just as long as you (just as long as you)
Ain't a Kurd or Jew
It was all appealing;
Everybody was nice
Except for...that one bloke who rode the Ghost Train
Strapped to a "device"
If you can stand the danger,
The bad food and the heat
Bring the kids and submissive wife
Coz you're in for quite a treat!
Last ride on the coaster
They're closing at half past four
Every single person working here
Has to get back to the war....
I waved to the night man;
He was...familiar to me
Then I caught a glimpse of his name badge:
It said "Osama B"....
[*So THAT'S where he's been!*]
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 34 | 34 | 34 |
User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Well, it's deliciously thought out and written well. Not the funniest I have ever heard, but I'll give you 5 times the average temperature.
I wish I thought of this! I thought this was brilliant! 555
"Not the funniest?" I'd be loath to rank your parodies, Kris, but this is right up with the best of them! TMGLTM but "Don al-Duq" really got me.
especially liked "taliban twister"...great stuff
Walt would be proud. I wonder what a Jihad Cabaret would look like?
The title alone was awesome! 5s
Freaking brilliant, Mr. K. Didn't Liza Minelli sing the theme to Jihad Caberet?
What good is sitting alone in your room?/Strap on a belt today/Death to the cabaret, al-Qum/Blow up the cabaret/. . .There they serve wine/Which should be banned/Those mongrel dogs are desecratin'/Martyr way, your virgins waitin'.
Wowsers!! Totally tasteless, but in a good way...I could just hear the Arab-accented vocalist singing this amidst swirls of authentic Persian instrumentation! Many blessings upon you for this 555-level work.
Barry: Thanks for taking the time to check this out
Jason: You need to be clinically insane to think up stuff like this! Cheers, buddy
Cat: Thanks, sweetie. Mohammed Mouse and Don al-Duq actually started the ball rolling on this one. I'd also be loath to rank YOUR parodies....
Al: Gracias, amigo
McK: I shudder to think. The dance of the seven burqas? ;-) Cheers
Jack: I always love getting an "awesome" from Mr Wilson!
Rex: Almost right. It was Fatima bin Minelli from Kabul
John: Bravo!
Agri: Totally tasteless is almost always my goal; thanks for noticing. If you can find a Middle eastern band that knows HoCal, be my guest with the vocals....
Thanks, all. Your support, as always, is much appreciated
Jason: You need to be clinically insane to think up stuff like this! Cheers, buddy
Cat: Thanks, sweetie. Mohammed Mouse and Don al-Duq actually started the ball rolling on this one. I'd also be loath to rank YOUR parodies....
Al: Gracias, amigo
McK: I shudder to think. The dance of the seven burqas? ;-) Cheers
Jack: I always love getting an "awesome" from Mr Wilson!
Rex: Almost right. It was Fatima bin Minelli from Kabul
John: Bravo!
Agri: Totally tasteless is almost always my goal; thanks for noticing. If you can find a Middle eastern band that knows HoCal, be my guest with the vocals....
Thanks, all. Your support, as always, is much appreciated
Wow, you never cease to amaze me, "And get a photo with Mohammed Mouse And Don al-Duq Infidel Dogs with mustard (Pork-free, of course...)" Dear lord, I'll never be an SOTM contender
Thanks for your comment, Dave....but your statement about you never being a SOTM contender is a load of old TOSH! Keep writing, dude, and it'll come sooner than you think.
This song is the bomb... and the best of today... :)
Sorry, I'm late..my pc is acting up and running like molasses....There's no better ingredients for a delicious parody, than terror, and humor...when you've got right recipe...and today, you're Emeril..
he he
Excellent, particularly fundamentalist begins with "fun" and the conclusion.
Excellent, particularly fundamentalist begins with "fun" and the conclusion.
A true Babylonian delight!
:-D=
(that's a smiley with beard)
...hmm security code is "TVR" - I wonder if it'll go very quickly, or simply not work
(that's a smiley with beard)
...hmm security code is "TVR" - I wonder if it'll go very quickly, or simply not work
Kristof, a true masterpiece :) Loved it, start to finish.
Don al Duq! strapped to a "device" "submissive wife" - that's why you truly are "the man" Kristof - brilliantly funny stuff with a very witty ending- and what a great idea - 555
Many thanks to Mac, AFW, Ann, the Jenkins twins (;-)), Merry, Philbo, Pip and Big Stu!
This sure put the fun back into fundamentalism!
Just came back from vacation.... Ahhh... I can still taste the Infidel Dogs
Just marvelous, Kristof... I echo Stuart and BAD's analysis and line picks... you seriously need to find yourself a Robert Lund... or some other mode of transport to stardom... next stop: Weird Kris Spaffovic-ville!
Great job. I only read half the song before i started laughing my @$$off. 5-5-5 for you.
(SOTM) I cannot say more...
(SOTM) Dangit Kristof, STOP BEING SO AWESOME! The mind boggles when one tries to think of what's going on in your mind when you write this kinda stuff. Oh, and good job, 555, blah blah blah.
555 virgins
(SOTM) Blazingly funny!
While not the epic "Buy, buy an African Child", this is funnier and has bigger teeth to it. 555+++ I believe I will have a suitable backing track for this - if you don't record it I'd like to.
(SOTM) "Come ride the "Taliban Twister"
You're guaranteed to upchuck
And get a photo with Mohammed Mouse"
WOW, Love the OS (excep the insanely long intro and outro). . .love the parody--would go further on my opinion of you as a parodist, but I don't want to boost your ego with my flowery words, great job.
SOTM - Hilarious.
(SOTM) subversively superlative - another product of our top parodist at the top of his form
(SOTM) See above!
Very, very well done. This should be recording in some capacity if it hasn't been already.
SOTM- Hilarious and very well done, Kristof. It was better than a rollercoaster ride.
brilliant!
This is absolutely brilliant. It's topical, consistent, hilariously funny, and matches the pacing of the original perfectly.
This one will never die! Brilliantly funny the first time I read it, and it's still just as humerous as the first time. Really one of my favorites by you, even though there are so many.
Another brilliant Kristof work...one of my favorite OSes, and you spoofed it well!
Bravo! Well done. 15
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This is view # 1238
Very Best of album at Amazon.com
Eagles - Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975 album at Amazon.com
Hell Freezes Over album at Amazon.com
The Eagles Greatest Hits, Vol. 2 album at Amazon.com
Hotel California album at Amazon.com
Desperado album at Amazon.com
Eagles album at Amazon.com
