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Song Parodies -> "Mos Eisley Cantina"

Original Song Title:

"Hotel California"

Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Mos Eisley Cantina"

Parody Written by:

Mikey Squirrel

The Lyrics

On a big desert planet, Tatooine is the name
Jawas and Sand people, rising up through the plains
Up ahead near the spaceport, I saw a wretched hive
Full of lots of scum and villainy, I hope things will be alright
As we walked through the doorway, I heard the bartender say
That we should leave our droids outside, and please keep our blasters put away
Then Ben lit up his saber and he sliced some guy's arm
I guess it's better to be in here, than at the moisture farm

Welcome to the Mos Eisley Cantina
Such a lively crowd, droids are not allowed
People are strange at the Mos Eisley Cantina
Any time of day, drink your blues away

This place is definitely twisted, it's got the Max Rebo band
It's got a lot of ugly aliens, I can't understand
See them drink at their tables, sweet Jawa juice
Some come for a bounty, some come to cut loose
So I said to Han Solo, "We need a fast ship'
He said, 'You haven't heard of the Falcon? It can do some serious shit'
But now Stormtroopers are coming, let's get away,
Meet you back at the Corellian ship, at the docking bay...

Welcome to the Mos Eisley Cantina
Such a lively crowd, droids are not allowed
We're mixing it up at the Mos Eisley cantina
Everyone is weird, some are really feared

Wuher's behind the bar, and there's some big hairy guys
And I said, I think I saw a hammerhead here and a guy with three eyes
Somewhere off in the background, I can hear Figrin D'an
I'd like to go and take a piss, but I just can't find the can
Next thing that I heard of, Han was heading for the door
Greedo tried to stop him there, but now Greedo is no more
'Relax,' said the smuggler, and "I'm sorry for the mess'
I think I'll come back here really soon, "Cause this place is the best!
c copyright 2005 Squirrelbait Squirrelbait Parody Jukebox

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   3
 5   22

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ash - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Yay for Star Wars!
Mikey Squirrel - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, Pomfret.. your gift of ominence is nothing more than silly immature name-calling as you sit on your high horse thinking you know everything about everyone. A- I don't go to school Im 37 years old. B- My parents and my WIFE like my parodies and think highly of them and C- I really thought this was a site where no one would make fun of the name they use, but I see you decided to be Mr. funny guy. I repent any thoughts of you being a decent human being. Get out of bed and get a life.
Michael Pacholek - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Hmpf! Much have you learned. Funny this is. Up keep this you will, and Jedi Humorist soon you will be.
MrMacphisto - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Um... who the hell is Pomfret? What the hell is a Pomfret? Anyway, great parody, and don't mind the guy who types like English is his fifth language.
Mikey Squirrel - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks guys. Sorry I kinda lost it on that last post. I'm better now. Really....... I have tea.
Agrimorfee - August 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Yo, Mikey. This was funny in many parts, but not the perfection that usually comes from your work. Couple stumblings of pacing and song story line (the stormtroopers are coming before Greedo gets killed?) stood out like rough spots on an unpolished diamond.
Mikey Squirrel - September 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Actually, Agri, in SW: A New Hope, Han points out the Stormtroopers to Luke and Ben while there are at the table in the Cantina. Luke and Ben leave, and shortly afterwards Han meets up with Greedo. The song pretty much follows the Mos Eisley events in order. But the pacing is a little off - it's a tough song to do!
Agrimorfee - September 01, 2005 - Report this comment
OK, Mike, you are right. May rhe farce be with you.
Rex - September 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05-M) Really enjoyed this.
Adagio - September 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05-M) Good one...entertaining.
Ethan Mawyer - September 04, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC M - Some pacing problems, at least according to my memory of the song, but nice detail and overall pretty good. One suggestion though - In the Millenium Falcon line, maybe you should change it to something like "It moves at quite a clip" since it rhymes and won't offend the profanity police. But it's your parody, so your choice. 445
Red Ant - September 07, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Minor pace problems if memory serves right in the last stanza, but still excellent and funny even without seeing SWs. 555.
Stuart McArthur - September 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(M) - excellent work, Mikey, and I loved your pomfret retort - wish the OC (original comment) was still there
Kristof Robertson - September 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Really clever work, Mikey...from a fellow 37 year old....:-) 555
Arwen - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC--it probably doesn't make much it might not have been the hardest line to write...(I don' t know)...but every time I read "droids are not allowed," I burst out giggling. For what it's worth. Great job, MS.
Adam Eccleshall - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) The farce is strong with you... 5's
Johnny yoDa - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Hmm! Much humor sense I in you, young Squirrel-Walker!
Rick C - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Good Star Wars parody...555
Scathe - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(M) These "Star Wars" parodies have a charm all their own.
Phil Alexander - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Wonderful :-D

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