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Song Parodies -> "Blackwater"

Original Song Title:

"Black Water"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Doobie Brothers

Parody Song Title:

"Blackwater"

Parody Written by:

Rex Ungericht

The Lyrics

Blackwater is back in the news with the release of an FBI report that concludes that the shooting deaths of 14 Iraqi civilians was unjustified. Although there have been two other Blackwater parodies posted to the tune of "Black Water", here is mine. Note that Iraq is pronounced both "I-rack" and "I-rock" in this parody depending on the context.
Well, the Pentagon acted without any votin’
From Carolina, the soldiers all came
Hazardous duty for country and booty
Blackwater was hopin’ to win some acclaim

Go Blackwater, on patrol now
Mercenary guns keepin’ people safe in Iraq
Whoa Blackwater, on the dole now
Half a million bucks for a guard just seems out of whack
So Blackwater, what’s your role now
Thought it was defense but your people like to attack
Yeah, bang bang stop or I’ll shoot
Everything’s turnin’ out, in Fallujah
Turnin’ out sorta like Beirut
But you just keep on warring, ‘cause the money keeps pouring on in

You’ve got a license to kill, Iraqi season has begun
You learned to shoot from Dick Cheney himself
Yeah, you down a dozen beers, pick up your gun, and aim it all about
And then you fire ‘til sombody gives a shout

Go Blackwater, keep on brawlin’
Use a hand grenade on whoever gives you some sass
Whoa Blackwater, now you’re stallin’
Congress wants to know how you’re spendin’ all of your cash
So Blackwater, who you callin’
Someone told the State Department to give you a pass
Now they say you’re immune
Gonna get off scott free, everybody
Gonna whistle a happy tune
You’re Iraq-ing and rolling, and ignoring the polling back home

And now I hear that once Iraq is done
Gonna put ‘em on the border here at home
Gonna guard (guard) gonna guard the Mexico border
Gonna watch senoritas all night long

And now I hear that once Iraq is done
Gonna put ‘em on the border here at home
Gonna guard (guard) gonna guard the Canada border
Gonna shoot anything that’s in a toque

And now I hear that once Iraq is done
Gonna put ‘em on the border here at home
Gonna guard (guard) gonna guard the Mexico border
Gonna slam down cerveza all day long

And now I hear that once Iraq is done
Gonna put ‘em on the border here at home
Gonna guard (guard) gonna guard the Canada border
Gonna block all those pompous hockey fans

And now I hear that once Iraq is done
Gonna put ‘em on the border here at home
Gonna guard (guard) gonna guard the Mexico border
Gonna fill up the Rio Grande with sharks

And now I hear that once Iraq is done
Gonna put ‘em on the border here at home
Gonna guard (guard) gonna guard the Canada border
Gonna torture whoever’s talking French
This parody was requested by Squire G of "The Black Knight and Squire G Show" (www.bksgshow.com). He did the hard part of suggesting a title and topic - I just filled in the words. :-)

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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

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User Comments

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Guy - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Little known fact. Blackwater got its upstart from Iran/Contra in the 1980's. If you can recall or look up the news on the subject of that time you may note that the tiny Central American country of Nicaragua was a big part of the Iran/Contra scandle. Nicaragua translates into English as what else - Blackwater.

These guys that formed that company were most likely up to their eyeballs in Iran/Contra but Ollie took the fall for them all. All I can say about the situation is that war is hell and sh*t happens. I'll 5 you for a great write but this kind of thing is never going to stop no matter who is in power. The company has a mind of its own and will overstep its bounds at any and every opportunity. Sometimes it is good for us and sometimes it makes us look bad.

It's like the 1992 movie `A Few Good Men' with Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson of which a most memorable line was uttered: This most memorable line being one in which Kaffee exclaims to Jessup, `I want the truth!' to which Jessup replies, `You can't handle the truth!'. Same thing happens in real life when the spit hits the fan.
MrMacphisto - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Corruption is inevitable, but it's a lot more avoidable when our government spends less time messing with other countries and more time minding its own business. Nevertheless, this is the best of the Blackwater parodies so far. 5-5-5

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