Song Parodies -> "Orthanc Fights"

Original Song Title:

"Summer Nights"

Original Performer:

The cast from Grease

Parody Song Title:

"Orthanc Fights"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

(Scene opens at The White Council at Rivendell)
[Elrond]
Where you been all this time, Gandalf?
[Gandalf]
'Bin hanging out at Isengard... met this wizard who was sorta mad, you know

(Action shifts to Saruman, addressing his new creation, the Uruk-Hai)
[Saruman]
I wanted him to give me a ring

[Gandalf]
OK, you guys. You want to know what happened?

(Cue the music...)

[Gandalf]
Sorry, guys - I've got bad news
[Saruman]
Gandalf came, I knew he'd lose
[Gandalf]
Sarumadman, he has gone bad
[Saruman]
He won't join me - Gandalf is mad

[G&S]
Orthanc moot, something's afoot
And, oh, those Orthanc fights

[Council]
Tell me more, tell me more,
Is he after the ring?
[Uruk-hai]
Tell me more, tell me more,
Like, that shiny round thing?

[Gandalf]
I looked closely - he's no longer white
[Saruman]
Gandalf spoke he was talking shite
[Gandalf]
Sarumanic - I wanted advice
[Saruman]
He's too grey, and wants to be nice

[G&S]
Orthanc tower, Saruman's power
And, oh, those Orthanc fights

[Uruk-hai]
Tell me more, tell me more,
Did you crush him to bits?
[Council]
Tell me more, tell me more
Of this battle of wits

[Gandalf]
He said Sauron - Sauron's the One
[Saruman]
But that moron, he wouldn't come
[Gandalf]
Sarumistake, he wasn't right
[Saruman]
So I guess that we had to fight

[G&S]
The one ring don't mean a thing,
To, oh, those Orthanc fights

[Council]
Tell me more, tell me more,
How did you handle that?
[Uruk-hai]
Tell me more, tell me more,
Cause he sounds like a prat

[Saruman]
He got sore, like, he wouldn't laugh
[Gandalf]
He got warlike, wielding his staff
[Saruman]
He was strong, I knew he would be
[Gandalf]
But he was strong, stronger than me

[G&S]
Orthanc gained Gandalf enchained
But uh-oh those Orthanc fights
[Uruk-hai]
Tell me more, tell me more,
Is he still in the pen?
[Council]
Tell me more, tell me more,
Gandalf, what happened then?

[Gandalf]
I escaped it, flown by Gwahir
[Saruman]
I'd have thought that he'd still be here
[Gandalf]
Stakes were high - I couldn't stay
[Saruman]
Wonder how he got away...

[G&S]
Orthanc's hell, but no prison cell
And, oh
Those Orthanc fi-
-ights
[All]
Tell me more, tell me more.

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User Comments

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Arwen - April 12, 2004 - Report this comment

Fabulous, Phil! Even though I'm going to be singing Summer Nights ALL day long, and everyone at work is going to want to kill me...I can't help but give you 5s! Excellent!

Johnny D - April 12, 2004 - Report this comment

I agree with Her Immortal Loveliness - 5's all around, and Elbereth Gilthoniel!

Rick D - April 12, 2004 - Report this comment

Phil. Anything come of that mp3 I sent??? let me know you at least heard it.

Phil Alexander - April 13, 2004 - Report this comment

Sorry, Rick - it came through with just enough time for me to send an acknowledgement of receipt before I left to go on holiday: I did stick it on the laptop, so I've listened to/sung over both (and prefer the echo-y one, I think), but didn't take mike etc. Given my catch-up schedule, I hope to get round to trying to record something at the weekend. I think Dad might have finished "Mad dogs and Englishmen", too, so I'll have a couple to play with. :-)

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